357: Stop Making Other People Comfortable
Women are raised to believe we should make other people comfortable.\xa0We should be caretakers of others needs and desires and feelings - even when it comes at a cost to our own needs, desires, and feelings.\nBecause of this indoctrination early in our lives, we also take it upon ourselves to make sure that we don\u2019t outshine others - because that could make them feel bad or less than.\xa0Instead, we let ourselves feel bad and less than.\xa0\nWe make it a priority to make other people comfortable.\xa0And in many cases this means we shrink and play small in front of others.\xa0We don\u2019t want to make anyone uncomfortable and we certainly don\u2019t want anyone to judge us for shining too brightly.\xa0\nSo, we stay small, quiet, dull, demure instead - because showing up as bold, bright, big, brave feels too risky.\nHere are some instances in which you might make others uncomfortable with your shininess and badassery, as well as put yourself at risk of other people\u2019s judgment:\n\nwhen you lose weight\n\nwhen you run a 5K, 10K or a marathon\n\nwhen you quit your job to stay home with your kids\n\nwhen you make a lot of money\n\nwhen you write a book\n\nwhen you start your own business\n\nwhen you go for a promotion\n\nwhen you go back to school to get an advanced degree\n\nwhen you put your child in full-time childcare\n\nwhen you go on an epic vacation\n\nwhen you take every Friday off\n\nwhen you get weekly massage\n\nwhen you buy your kid something fancy/\u201dspoil\u201d them\n\nwhen you buy a bigger house\n\nwhen you buy a tiny house\n\nwhen you announce you\u2019re a photographer/event planner/jewelry designer/lifecoach/blogger/podcaster, speaker, writer\n\nwhen you say you want to be a mogul\n\nHave you ever achieved one of these items and intentionally not shared it with others?\xa0You kept is small and private out of fear that others would be uncomfortable with your success or achievement and/or that they might pass judgment on you and dull your shine?\nI want to encourage you to reframe how you think about other people's opinions.\xa0\xa0It\u2019s not your job to tend to other people\u2019s opinions.\xa0In fact, you should pay them no mind.\nIt\u2019s not your job to make other people comfortable.\xa0Their discomfort is about them, not you.\xa0And it\u2019s their responsibility, not yours.\nIt\u2019s not your job to play small and stay small because others can\u2019t or won\u2019t step up and shine.\nYour job is to SHINE LIKE A MOTHER.\nAnd when you do so you will become a mirror that attracts people who want to see you in all your big, bold, brave badassery.\xa0When you start attracting these kinds of people, you will continue to be able to shine in brighter ways for all your days.\nListen in for a deeper dive and 4 ways to deal with the uncomfortable, judgy people in your life.\nThank you to our sponsors:\n\n\nTalkspace: To match with your perfect therapist for a fraction of the price of traditional therapy, go to Talkspace, Make sure to use the code SHAMELESS to get $65 off your first month and show your support for the show.\n\n\nRothy\u2019s: To get free shipping on any order of Rothy\u2019s shoes, as well as free returns, go to Rothy\u2019s and use the code SHAMELESS at checkout.\n\n\nLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices