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I think we can all agree that marriage is hard.\xa0It is also awesome.\xa0But it does not come without intentional work.\xa0It\u2019s easy to glorify other people's' marriages and assume they \u201chave it all\u201d when that is never actually the case.\nI recently read Michelle Obama\u2019s book, Becoming.\xa0Then I went as saw her speak here in Seattle.\xa0In both instances, I was touched by the way she talks about marriage and essentially the \u201csecrets\u201d of her marriage.\nShe is married to a dreamer, while she is admittedly much more pragmatic.\xa0She is married to someone who wants to serve all the people, while she wants to prioritize serving her family and those closest to her.\xa0She is married to someone who can\u2019t manage his time to save his life, while she loves structure and schedules and routine (and being on time for it all)!\nIn reading Michelle\u2019s book and hearing her talk, I was able to curate four secrets to a successful marriage that I think will help all the rest of us:\n\nSet clear boundaries and expectations\n\nAssume your partners have the best intentions\n\nAssume your partner can actually do the things they say they can\n\nShamelessly build, own, and grow your own identity\n\nListen in for a deep dive on these concepts around marriage (and to learn how to see your partners' most annoying characteristics as gifts)!\nAND make sure to stick around for the end when we talk about asking for support rather than permission.\xa0This is a game changer in how you can maintain your identity as well as a high level of respect and equity in your marriage.\nThank you to our sponsors:\n\n\nCheers Health: Visit Cheers Health and Enter promo code SHAMELESS at checkout to Get 10% off your first order and a free gift.\n\n\nCareOf: For 50% off your first month of personalized care/of vitamins, visit CareOf and enter the code SHAMELESS50 at checkout.\n\n\nLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices