233: Moderation Vs Abstinence
On my recent girls trip to Sedona, a hot topic came up about being a moderator vs an abstainer.\xa0This conversation was inspired by two of the women I was with sharing their experiences feeling overwhelmed when trying to moderate alcohol and food in their life.\nOne woman shared her story of giving up alcohol two years ago because it had become so exhausting to manage her relationship with it.\xa0She found herself constantly negotiating with herself about when she would drink, how much she would drink and her struggle to maintain boundaries that felt good to her.\xa0\nShe ultimately gave alcohol up all together \u2013 which felt terrifying at the time.\xa0She equated it to a breaking up with a boyfriend.\xa0Two years later she can see how much freedom she has regained in choosing to be an abstainer when it comes to alcohol.\xa0\nAnother friend shared her struggle with consistently making food choices that support her goals.\xa0She talked about the struggles she has when she allows herself to indulge in treats but then finds it taking days, weeks, sometimes months to get back into food routines that support her health goals.\nLike the friend who struggled with alcohol, this woman finds her relationship with food to be consuming to the point of often being exhausting and overwhelming.\xa0Perhaps abstaining from indulgences would be more liberating??\nThere is a lot of societal messaging around moderation. But for some people, moderation is actually much harder work that abstaining from something all together.\nOften the \u201ctreats\u201d we try to enjoy in moderation make us feel worse instead of better \u2013 even though we think the indulgence will feel fantastic in the moment.\xa0If the aftermath is fraught with regret, remorse, and frustration, then moderation is not really an effective habit, is it?\nIn this episode, I dive more deeply into this conversation and into some of Gretchen Rubin\u2019s teachings on the topic of moderating vs abstaining.\xa0It\u2019s pretty fascinating.\xa0I think you\u2019ll find it interesting and helpful if you ever struggle with maintaining habits that best support your goals.\nPlease share this with other Shameless Moms in your life who might find value in this conversation.\nLinks Mentioned:\n\nSMA Ep 200 with Gretchen Rubin: The Four Tendencies\n\n\nArticle: Gretchen Rubin on Abstainer vs Moderator\n\n\nThank you to our sponsors:\n\n\nPrep Dish: To get your first two weeks of paleo/gluten free meal plans, recipes, and grocery lists for free, go to Prep Dish.\n\n\nCanvas People: To get a FREE 11x14 canvas print (just pay shipping) of any of your photos, go to Canvas People and use the code SHAMELESS at checkout.\n\n\nLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices