SFR 291: Shocking Customer Support Tickets (Use Caution)
We have a whiteboard of the funniest support tickets over the years\u2026
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This is a collection of the rude, hilarious, and shocking things that have come through support\u2026
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And today, I thought it would be kinda funny today to share some of the MOST entertaining support tickets with you.
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So with my 2 amigos, Coulton and Austin, I\u2019m gonna walk through the customer service requests that have\u2026
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- Shocked
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- Perplexed
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- Amused
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\u2026 and left us downright flabberghasted!
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Our goal is NOT to offend\u2026
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However, FAIR WARNING - this blog does contain the *TRUMP* word \U0001f609 - so if you\u2019re easily offended\u2026
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LOOK AWAY NOW!
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We're NOT making fun of anybody but there are some things that people\u2026
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- Reach out about\xa0
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- Ask me to do for them
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\xa0\u2026 that are SURPRISING!
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It's almost like a contest to see what the funniest one is.
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Again, we\u2019re not trying to be offensive, but we thought it'd be kinda funny to share some of these comments with you.\xa0
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You\u2019ll also find out WHAT HAPPENS when I answer customer support tickets myself \U0001f609
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(... and before you write in, there\u2019s a deliberate mistake in this blog - can you spot it??? \U0001f602)
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Let's get to it.
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HOW TO DO CUSTOMER SUPPORT (KINDA)
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Just so you know\u2026
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\xa0When I first started doing this (about two years ago), it was just me\u2026 and Russell was like:
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\xa0"Hey, for your first hire, make sure you find somebody who can help you with\u2026
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A: Support\xa0
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B: Revenue Generation Activities.\xa0
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I was like, "Oh," and I hired Coulton.\xa0
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And we've gone through several customer service software systems.
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Coulton: Yeah.
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Steve: Anyway, it's been fun. It's been an interesting drive. How many support tickets do you think we get in a month?\xa0
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Coulton: Hundreds. \U0001f602 There's A LOT nowadays.
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Steve: Really?\xa0
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Coulton: There's quite a few, yeah. It's definitely gone up.
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Steve: How many hundreds?\xa0
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Coulton: What do you think, a couple hundred?\xa0
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Austin: Yeah, I'd say 150 - 250.
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Steve: A month?\xa0
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Coulton: Yeah.
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Steve: Wow! You guys have a lot of questions. That's great, I'm glad that you guys write on in, that's good - we're not discouraging that at all\u2026
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\xa0BUT\u2026
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\xa0Every once in awhile, there's that 1% (not the good kind who everyone talks about) who are having a bad day...\xa0
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You know people get a little tough behind their computer screens and they wouldn't say what they would normally say in front of you online.\xa0
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It's usually Austin or Coulton (especially Coulton), that kinda usually hits that and gets the flack for it.\xa0
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Coulton: It's probably 'cause I'm a patient dude and, yeah. I'm not easily pissed off, so maybe that's why.
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Steve: Yeah, yeah, this would be awesome to hear.
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Austin: We're gonna ease into things here.
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CUSTOMER SUPPORT FUNNY #1
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\xa0First one on the list\u2026
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- \xa0"Can Steve look at my stuff for free?"\xa0
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Now, I totally get this one, but at the same time, this is a better question for Steve, like seven, eight, nine years ago.
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Steve: Yeah.
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Austin: You know what I'm saying?\xa0
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Where Steve's at now\u2026
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Steve\u2019s time is the most precious gem in the business right now.\xa0
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So, yeah, it's just NOT doable.\xa0
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Steve: No, it's not.\xa0
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Yeah, it's funny how many people kinda get kind of frustrated and they're like:
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\xa0"Why don't you just look at my funnel?"\xa0
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People get really mad about that.\xa0
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It's like, "I would, but there's a line of 100, yesterday."
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Coulton: You honestly got to give them a little bit of credit, they don't know everything that's going on.\xa0
But then I'm also like, "Do you not see\u2026\u201d
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...all the crap that's going on there? You should probably have a pretty good idea that he's got A LOT going on.
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Austin: Busy man.\xa0 \U0001f602
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Steve: And I totally get that if you don't ask the question, you're definitely not gonna get it.\xa0
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So it's like, "Okay, you should ask."\xa0
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\u2026 but it is shocking how frequent that one comes in.
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Coulton: Yeah.
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Steve: Is that among the top ones?\xa0
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Coulton: I think it's just 'cause it's so shocking.
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Austin: It's one of those ones that stick out.
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Coulton: Yeah, yeah.
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Steve: Like over and over?\xa0
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Coulton: Yeah.
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Steve: What was the most recent one?\xa0
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Coulton: You know, honestly, a couple of weeks ago, I think\u2026
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\xa0We got one that was just like, "Hey, can you just look over my funnel real quick? It's only gonna take five minutes."\xa0
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I get that it can be quick, but it's also not gonna take five minutes.
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Austin:
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Also, his knowledge is worth thousands.
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Coulton: Yeah. \U0001f602
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Steve: For *FREE* Yeah. No man!\xa0
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What's this next one you guys put on? You wanna go for it?\xa0
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Coulton: Oh, this one's awesome.\xa0
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CUSTOMER SUPPORT FUNNY #2
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People think that Steve is answering the support tickets himself.\xa0
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My favorite part about that is, (I don't know if you've seen this, Austin???)...
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\xa0But literally, I'll respond back to something and my name is under there...
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- \u201cCOULTON\u201d
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- \u201cCOULTON WOODS\u201d
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- \u201cFrom COULTON\u201d
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But they'll respond and be like, "Thank you so much, Steve. That was so awesome." Or "Thanks for the help, Steve" or "Thanks for looking at it, Steve."
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\xa0And I'm like\u2026
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\xa0"I don't know where you're getting Steve from."
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Austin: Sometimes I just act like Steve.\xa0
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So\u2026
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\xa0If Steve's answering your support tickets, know that it's me.
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Steve: Yeah.\xa0
There are many times when I'll act like I'm my assistant, even though I don't have one yet.\xa0
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I'm not trying to be rude, but if I answer one thing, there's ALWAYS three things that come back.
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\xa0It's like the comments have babies, they multiply.\xa0
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\u201cThis is Steve's assistant - thank you so much for reaching out. If you have a question, reach to goanswerme.com.\xa0
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That's pretty fun.
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Coulton: You know what's funny, I've had people that say that they're someone's assistant and because of you, I now \u2018double-question\u2019 that.
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\xa0Guaranteed it's NOT their assistant, it's probably actually them.
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Steve: It usually isn't.\xa0
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I learned this from Russell\u2026
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I was in on a Saturday answering a bunch of tickets (before I left ClickFunnels) and Russell walked in and he goes, "What are you doing man?"\xa0
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I was like, "Oh, well, I'm working on my own business right now. Hopefully, that's not weird.\xa0
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I've been answering social media questions coming in for six hours."\xa0
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And Russell goes, "Dude, I totally get it and I've got the best cure for it\u2026
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\xa0And you're NOT honestly gonna like it, but are you willing to do it?"\xa0
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I said, "Yeah, what is it?"\xa0
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Russell laughed and said, "You don't have to answer."\xa0
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And I was like, "What?"\xa0
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And he goes, "I know, right? The giver in you wants to go in... just don't answer anyway.\u201d
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\xa0Coulton: There's just NOT enough time.
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Steve:\xa0
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You just gotta be a Time Nazi a little bit.
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Austin: Next on the list\u2026
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CUSTOMER SUPPORT FUNNY #3
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- When is OfferMind?\xa0
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Steve: Yeah... Starting time? Locations?
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Austin: This is a good lesson that I learned from you\u2026
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You're REALLY good at qualifying your customer, the type of buyer you want, and you let the funnel do the selling.\xa0
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If the funnel doesn't sell them, they're not a good customer.\xa0
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And so, when dates are\u2026
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- \xa0All over the funnel pages
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- In EVERY email
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- Postes all over the podcast and social media\xa0
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...and someone asks, "When is the date?"\xa0 - the simplest question!!!
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\xa0NOT A GOOD FIT!\xa0
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\u201cWhat's the name of this event?\u201d\xa0
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And they're responding to something that says, "OfferMind"... (that happens a bit).
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Austin: Yup.
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Steve: Yeah, that one's funny 'cause we're not the funnel - the funnel's the funnel, and that's how we look at it.
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Anyway, yeah.
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\xa0Coulton: I'm pretty sure I actually got that question the day before, too.
How do you not have stuff set up and ready for that?\xa0
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Steve: It's in every footer of every page\u2026
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- \xa0The date
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- The time
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- The location
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\xa0That one's kind of funny coming in.
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Austin: You gotta take this next one.
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Coulton: Yeah, this next one, I was gonna say.
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CUSTOMER SUPPORT FUNNY #3
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Steve:\xa0 I've had this one several times, several times.\xa0
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Just so you guys know\u2026
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The internet is mean and you gotta have a little bit of a thick skin - you've gotta grow one.\xa0
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And this is one of the first major support tickets I got, like ever, so it crushed my little soul at the time.
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This guy reached out\u2026
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\xa0He goes\u2026
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- \xa0"Dear Stephen, I hope you and your family burn in hell, FOREVER."\xa0
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And I was like, "Oh".\xa0
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Anyway, I\u2019ve had that one several times.\xa0
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It's very interesting if you have any level of success, some people immediately think that you're a scammer.
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It's like, \u201coh, I guess Apple's a scam, Google's a scam.\u201d
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\xa0I don't know, anyway, so weird. That happens, but whatever...
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Coulton: That's sad.
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Austin: Bring it on, baby.
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Steve: Bring it on!\xa0
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It'll happen as you guys get bigger...\xa0
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Actually, talking about this one is one of the reasons...\xa0
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So, Russell had this podcast episode a few weeks ago - it's almost like the negativity comes in waves.\xa0
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He's like, "Oh that sucked a little bit," and then it's like boom, the internet comes back again, then it goes away.
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It's the naysayers have a convention
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... I don't know what it is.
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\xa0It's like a drum circle convention and they go like, "Let's go attack this guy today," and it's crazy.\xa0
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There was this week that the internet was really mean and Russell - and I were chatting about it.
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He's like, "It's just the internet testing to see if you really believe what you say you do."\xa0
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You treat it that way 'cause it's A LOT easier.
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Coulton: That's good.
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Steve: Yeah.
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Coulton: That's a cool way to think about it.
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Steve: Dude, do you wanna do the next one?\xa0
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Coulton: Next one?\xa0
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Steve: This one's good.
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Coulton: Oh man, this is actually probably one of my favorites\u2026
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CUSTOMER SUPPORT FUNNY #4
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- \xa0\u201cAbout the product, where is it? I'll refund on you. Oh wait, here it is in my email."
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It\u2019s like three consecutive emails\xa0 - so it's like the first response is, "Where the heck is the product?"
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\xa0...and then \u2018cause we don't respond within an hour... (Honestly, who responds within an hour? I don't know, but\u2026\u201d
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Steve: We can't. Who knows?\xa0
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Coulton: We don't.
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Austin: Yeah, we don't do that.
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Steve: ClickFunnels just added live support, just now, you know?\xa0
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Coulton: Yeah.
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Austin: Two hours later, they're like, "I'm gonna a refund if you don't give me the access to product..."\xa0
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...and then by the time I look at it the next day or whatever, they're like, "Oh sorry... "
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Steve: Oh here it is.
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Coulton: \u201cI responded to the email that actually had access to the product, so my bad.\u201d
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Austin: And when we're building the funnels, we're very diligent.\xa0
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I even noticed today, you always spot check when it's done.\xa0
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Little things like the fulfillment email, to make sure links are in there, to make sure account credentials and so on, and so forth.\xa0
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Yeah. We're super good with our fulfillment emails.
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Steve: We're really good at it.\xa0
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Yeah. It's funny because the part that kills me is when people go on the social media pages and groups and say:
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"Steve Larsen, I've messaged your support two times now and I can't find this thing."\xa0
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And then in the comment right underneath it, they go:
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\xa0"Never mind, I found it. Everyone, please disregard."\xa0
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But in that time, they've gone and given one-star reviews on the freakin' pages, and you're like:
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\xa0"What is wrong with you?"\xa0
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Oh my gosh, it's an autoresponder - it goes out immediately, so funny.
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Coulton: Yeah. I get it if you didn't get the fulfillment email.
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Steve: Sure.
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Coulton: It totally makes sense - that happens, I understand.
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\xa0Sometimes you gotta check your spam, see if it's in there.
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But when they actually respond to the fulfillment email itself, which happens more often than not...
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Steve: The auto email goes out, and *then* they respond to the auto email saying:
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\xa0"Where is the link to the member's area?"\xa0
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...and it's in the email they're responding to!!!
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\xa0That one's funny.
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Austin: The lesson there is to read every email that we send.
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Steve: Yeah, I won't waste your time.
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Coulton: Don't skip a word.
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Steve: We're time Nazis.
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Coulton: Go for the next one?\xa0
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Austin: Next up\u2026
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CUSTOMER SUPPORT FUNNY #5
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- \xa0"Can you review my software that's gonna be the next ClickFunnels killer?"
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Coulton: I love that one.
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Austin: Simple answer, "No!"
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Steve: \u201cWe're trying to build the ClickFunnels killer. Can you review the software in the funnel to sell it?\u201d\xa0
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Coulton: Every time I see that I lean over to Steve, and I'm like, "Bro, somebody wants you to review their next ClickFunnel software killer."
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Steve: Oh my gosh, yeah.
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Austin: Big marketing tip is to understand your audience, understand who you're trying to sell it to.\xa0
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I don't think you're gonna sell a ClickFunnels killer to this guy.
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Steve: Very, very funny. Yeah, that one's funny. Can you review my software? I forgot about those.
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Coulton: I mean, Russell did make a shirt that has gears in the heart, red and blue, after what Stephen said about ClickFunnels.\xa0
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I don't think you're gonna get any reviews from Steve...\xa0
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Yeah, it's not gonna happen.
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Steve: Actually, I will get on and help you create that\u2026
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Anyone know any good viruses? Viruses, anyone?\xa0
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Oh, man.
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Austin: I feel like the next two kinda go hand in hand.
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Coulton: Yeah, I can read those.
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\xa0Steve: Go for it. Yeah. Yeah.
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Coulton: This is my next favorite\u2026
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CUSTOMER SUPPORT FUNNY #6
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- \xa0Tickets without an actual question behind it - it's more of just a statement that leads absolutely nowhere.
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Austin: It's just a thought.
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Steve: Yeah, and it\u2019ll be two paragraphs, usually. They're long and you don't know hat they're asking.
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Coulton: Yeah. I'm like... You know how many times I've responded, I'm like, "So, what exactly do you need from us?"
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Steve: Is that how you say... You actually say...
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Coulton: Sometimes I do.\xa0
Steve: "How does this involve us?"
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Coulton: I'm like, "I'm not sure what you're asking, can you help reframe that, please?"\xa0
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And that goes along with the next one, which is\u2026
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CUSTOMER SUPPORT FUNNY #7
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- \xa0Tickets without context, literally.
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Coulton: They're like, "Hey, I need this thing."
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Austin: \u201cThe link isn't in there!\u201d and it's like, \u201cWhere is there?\u201d\xa0
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Steve: What link? Yeah, what did you buy?\xa0
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Coulton: \u201cI can't log in\u2026\u201d and I'm like, "Oh that's cool, what can you not long into?"\xa0
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Like, I have no idea what you're talking about, you know.
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Steve: They'll respond and be like, "Stephen, send me my bonuses you promised."
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What bonuses?\xa0
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We launch A LOT of stuff - there's no context there
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Austin: Yeah, the clearer the questions, the faster we get back on support tickets.
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Coulton: I've even seen somewhere it's just literally the subject line, there's no body-text at all.
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There's nothing in it! Literally just the subject line - \u201cWhere's the link?\u201d And I'm like...
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Steve: Just go to Google\u2026 and there's a link!\xa0 Here you go.
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CUSTOMER SUPPORT FUNNY #8
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Steve: Oh, I gotta go for this next one 'cause this one is so funny to me.
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- Support tickets we get about ClickFunnels memberships.\xa0
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This one is hilarious- people will ask me questions. In fact, this happened last night, and I won't say who it is 'cause he's very famous.\xa0
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Someone reached out and they wanted to know about a thing in their ClickFunnels account.
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- \xa0I don't work for ClickFunnels
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- I don't have access to your accounts
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- I don't see anything in your ClickFunnels, I only see my ClickFunnels account.\xa0
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- I don't have access to Russell's anymore, I haven't for a long time.
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They'd be like, "How do I fix my billing in my account?\u201d
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\xa0Talk to ClickFunnels - we're NOT ClickFunnels.
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Austin: And piggybacking off that...\xa0
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- If we push you to go get a ClickFunnels issue solved, you can't CC us on emails with ClickFunnels support, it doesn't do anything.
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Steve: That happened yesterday. Yeah. I was wondering what those were\u2026???
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Austin: They get really confused as well.
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Steve: Yeah, they CC us and ClickFunnels at the same time so then we see these threads, as ClickFunnels support agents chat back and forth, and we're just seeing it, and we're like, \u201cYeah....\u201d
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I forgot about that.
I thought you were asking something, that was somebody else.
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CUSTOMER SUPPORT FUNNY #9
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Coulton: That kinda leads into the OFA Challenge.\xa0
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We get a lot of people that are like\u2026
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- \xa0"Hey, I didn't get my bonuses for the OFA challenge. I bought it through Steve's link\u201d ...but we never actually got a commission of any kind and it doesn't show that you bought through our link.
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Steve: ...and they didn't actually buy through our link!
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Coulton: That's probably a good thing to go over now\u2026
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\xa0Just open up an incognito window, whatever it may be, and clear your cache.
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Austin: Yeah.
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Coulton: Those different things that help make it so you actually go through Steve's link instead of the last person's link that you may have been on.
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Austin: Yeah. If you want the goods, opt-in to the affiliate pages in an incognito browser.
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Coulton: Yeah, there you go, that's the trick.
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Steve: Or, one I will personally get is...\xa0
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I literally have thousands, no joke, of unread Facebook Messenger messages.\xa0
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I don't even open Facebook Messenger anymore.\xa0
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I'm not saying I'm proud of that or that's the right way to go, but it's just the reality of where we are right now growing the business.\xa0
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We're staying lean and mean, but people will reach out and be like,\xa0
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- "Stephen, how come you haven't accepted access for me into the newest One Funnel Away Challenge.\xa0
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I'm like, \u2018I'm not even an admin on the page. Why are you reaching out to me? I don't have that.\u2019\xa0
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I'm just a coach that's contracted in, talk to ClickFunnels.
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Austin: It's funny.
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Coulton: I feel like the next one, we've already...
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Austin: You can field it.
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CUSTOMER SUPPORT FUNNY #9
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- I thought Secret MLM Hacks or I thought \u2018this program\u2019 was a totally done for you system.
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That one's funny - especially when it's like a...
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Coulton: a $57 dollar product.
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Steve: Yeah, when it's like a $57 dollar product.
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\xa0They'll be like, "You're not building my whole funnel for me?"
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\xa0I don't have any done for you services, 'cause I don't really believe in it.
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Austin: Read what you're getting.
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Steve: Yeah. Exactly what's in the offer is what we deliver.
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Steve: Yeah. That's funny.
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Coulton: Oh, man.
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Austin: I feel like you gotta take the next one, as well.
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Steve: OH, Yeah!!!
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CUSTOMER SUPPORT FUNNY #10\xa0
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- Playing the *Trump* card \U0001f609
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As a marketer, one of the roles that you have is to generate noise.\xa0
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And one of the easiest ways to generate noise is to realize that, there are two ways to do it...\xa0
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- You first can generate noise
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- You try to align with where noise already is -\xa0 which is the easier way and the smarter way.
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So if somebody like Trump, (who, I don't care what you think about him, and I don\u2019t have any political agenda here)...
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But\u2026
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Q: Would you say Trump has a lot of noise right now?\xa0
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A: He's got tons of noise, right?\xa0
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That's why we created this thing called MakeAffiliatesGreatAgain.com.\xa0
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MakeAffiliatesGreatAgain.com was meant to be a spoof and ride off of the noise of "Make America Great Again."\xa0
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And\u2026
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Why not make it even more controversial and noise bound by putting a Trump toupee in the logo?\xa0
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Just me doing that alone, I mean, it is so funny how many people got offended, which is very shocking also.
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We sent out the announcement email about that and I can't tell you how many people have reached back out and were like:
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\xa0"You said the word, TRUMP. I now know what kind of person you are, goodbye."\xa0
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And that was it - \u201cBye!\u201d\xa0
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And I was like, "Okay see you."
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I like to respond to that like, "Alright, bye".\xa0
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You don't see what I'm doing here?\xa0
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I didn't give any political agenda, nor will I ever...\xa0
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Anyway, so funny, just the fact of ...\xa0
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"Oh, he's the spawn of Satan, and because you said his name, you clearly are, too. I know who you are."\xa0
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And then gone.\xa0
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That happens frequently, which is funny\u2026
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\xa0So we decided to make ads about it.
\xa0
Coulton: I don't know if you guys caught that???
Literally, I don't know how many times we've created products and done funnels that are just riding the wake -\xa0 literally just right behind the noise.
\xa0
\xa0It works great.
\xa0
Steve: So good.
\xa0
Coulton: You guys gotta watch him on that - see what he's doing, you can take a ton from it.
\xa0
Steve: You just kinda align with it, yeah.
\xa0
Austin: Also piggybacking off that, I've got plenty of offers from people who I don't necessarily agree with something that they do...
\xa0
Steve: No.
\xa0
Austin: But I get value from what I buy. That's all I care about. So yeah, no need to get buttered on stuff if you don't agree with it.
\xa0
Steve: Yeah, did you say butter?\xa0
\xa0
Austin: Yeah, I don't know -\xa0 sorry iTunes
\xa0
I'm of the mindset that if something can provide you value, that's all that should matter.
\xa0
Steve: Totally. I've bought a lot of products, where frankly, I don't go through much of the actual product - it's merely so that I can see how they're selling it, and that's been worth the price I've paid alone.\xa0
\xa0
You understand one of the reasons we don't do a lot of $7 and $57,(we don't do a lot of price ranges around that strategically), is because typically, (and I don't wanna offend anyone when I say this)...
\xa0
\xa0But you'll find that the MORE expensive prices you charge, the better the person is, (like the situation in their life) to act.
\xa0
So if you go for something that's like a dollar, a lot of times you'll find that it's people who don't have a lot of money, understandably, and I'm not making fun of that.\xa0
\xa0
But there's a lot more of the starving mentality.\xa0
\xa0
And they look at you as an enemy if the bonus, for some reason, (the zeros and ones threw up that day and got sick) and a bonus didn't show up in 15 seconds\u2026
\xa0
And they reach back out and are like, "Burn in hell, you're crazy, oh my gosh!" Right?\xa0
\xa0
And you're like "What\u2026??? Holy crap, your spam filter caught it, it sent."\xa0
\xa0
Anyway, it happens.
\xa0
Austin: This next one, this was a personal favorite of mine - this is recent.
\xa0
CUSTOMER SUPPORT FUNNY #11
\xa0
- Pitching Steve\xa0
\xa0
We had someone recently that reached out...\xa0
\xa0
It was just a hard pitch\u2026
\xa0
- \xa0Case studies
\xa0
- Results
\xa0
...EVERYTHING!
\xa0
\u2026 and wanted to help Steve launch an info product, and teach him how to launch an info product.
\xa0
Like, he's never done it before.\U0001f602
\xa0
Steve: It's like the people who reach out asking if they can build a website - #NO!
\xa0
Austin: Yeah, I thought that was a good one. You put a lot of effort into it, but...\xa0
Coulton: It's a lot of effort, but it's kind of like the Dream 100 thing that you get to that are like obviously they don't know you at all.
\xa0
Like, yeah, like you even said, Russell gets wine bottles all the time\u2026 and he talks about how he doesn't drink, ALL THE TIME.
\xa0
Yeah, he still gets them.
\xa0
Austin: Know your audience.
\xa0
Coulton: Do a little research, you'll find out, yeah.
\xa0
Steve: Listen to an episode.... which you all are obviously are. [chuckle]
\xa0
Would you wanna take the next one? This happens to you A LOT.
\xa0
Austin: This is Coulton's favorite.
\xa0
CUSTOMER SUPPORT FUNNY #12\xa0
\xa0
Coulton: So we literally get... I don't know, I feel like it's like three affiliates a day.\xa0
\xa0
- Don\u2019t leave a --------- (so we can\u2019t pay you!)
\xa0
It is a crazy amount of people signing up for the affiliate program to sell our products.
\xa0
And so they send in their W8 or W9, whatever it may be, and it just blows my mind that they fill everything out, and then there's one blank spot\u2026
\xa0
\xa0That one blank spot is the most important blank spot\u2026
\xa0
.... and that\u2019s the signature.\xa0
\xa0
It says "Sign here."\xa0
\xa0
And I think it's even on the page multiple times, "We cannot accept it if it's not signed."
\xa0
Steve: There's a place where you sign...
\xa0
Coulton: If we needed to show that somewhere for some purpose - how are we gonna prove that it's even you at all, you know what I mean?\xa0
\xa0
Steve: So they don't sign it and they just send it right in or something?\xa0
\xa0
Coulton: Yeah, so they don't...\xa0
\xa0
And I get it - it's kind of hard, 'cause you gotta print it out, you gotta sign it.
\xa0
\xa0But we do have tech nowadays and you can digitally sign it.
\xa0
\xa0It makes it a lot easier.
\xa0
Austin: Here's a little hack, write your signature on a piece of paper, scan it and save it as a picture on your computer, and you can just put it on any PDF.
\xa0
Nice and easy - DONE!
\xa0
Coulton: And even if you have a Mac, Preview lets you sign...
\xa0
You can sign the trackpad, and then it saves it as your signature.\xa0
\xa0
You can put it on any document you want.
\xa0
Steve: It comes with Macs.
\xa0
Austin: And what's nice is when you sign your forms, we can get you paid quicker. So that's the incentive there.
\xa0
Steve: Can't pay unless you do it.
\xa0
Austin: Yep.
\xa0
CUSTOMER SUPPORT FUNNY #13\xa0
\xa0
Aka\u2026 why I don\u2019t do customer service!
\xa0
- You\u2019re clearly a scam!
\xa0
Steve: This guy reached out to me, (this happened like two or three weeks ago)...\xa0
\xa0
And it was one of these situations where the bonus hadn't been sent immediately.\xa0
\xa0
And so he reached out and his first message was, "You're clearly a scam".\xa0
\xa0
So I'm just tired of like, I'm not gonna defend... I'm not gonna play small...\xa0
\xa0
Anyway, I got feisty back.\xa0
\xa0
I suck at support because I yell at back at people - I just do.
\xa0
(... it's one of the things that makes me a good coach for ClickFunnels 'cause I don't put up with people's junk.)
\xa0
Which is why Coulton is such a godsend.\xa0
\xa0
I would yell at people in a support ticket.
\xa0
Q: "How do I add a funnel?"\xa0
\xa0
A: "CLICK \u2018ADD FUNNEL! HAVE YOU GOOGLED IT???? It's literally ORANGE and BIG\u2026 it has "ADD FUNNEL" right there at the top of the page!!!"\xa0
\xa0
So I would get kind of flustered and frustrated with some people, (it's just my personality and that's okay)\u2026 we all come together as a team on this.\xa0
\xa0
But this guy came out swinging\u2026
\xa0
\xa0"You're clearly a scam, and your company sucks," or something like that.\xa0
\xa0
So I reached back out and I said:
\xa0
\xa0"Well, you're NOT exactly the dream client either."\xa0
\xa0
(I don't think I told you guys about this one...)
\xa0
And he goes, "Wow, you're know how to reel 'em in."\xa0
\xa0
I was like, "Actually, I know how to keep him away too."
\xa0
Anyway, I should stop there\u2026
\xa0
It went on for a while, and finally, I was like, "Look, I'm not here begging for clients. And it's part of the reason why we built a company that we love working for our people."\xa0
\xa0
...it didn't end well!\xa0
\xa0
When you come out swinging, saying that we\u2019re scammers, (especially with like a $7 thing), we are totally fine refunding and just saying:
\xa0"Stay out of our world."\xa0
\xa0
You know what I mean?\xa0
\xa0
Coulton: 100%.
\xa0
Steve: And we're not saying to you guys here on the show, 'cause you guys all know this show, you love it - you've been following the journey.\xa0
\xa0
But there's A LOT of people who reach out and they're just predestined to have this predisposition for ridiculous negativity.\xa0
\xa0
And we did not start this to become life coaches, you know what I mean?\xa0
\xa0
We started this to offer what our offer is.
\xa0
\xa0So you gotta be careful with that. That's actually very key to this whole thing.
\xa0
Coulton: Mm-hmm. What's that gonna do for you?\xa0
\xa0
Steve: I don't know.
\xa0
Coulton: Looking at it that way, it's not gonna help you get any farther.
\xa0
Steve: It's crazy, yeah. The next one?\xa0
\xa0
Austin: The last one! Coulton, I feel like you should tackle this one.
\xa0
Coulton: Oh, I think this was actually my conversation. Let's see, oh yeah, this was a while ago. I totally forgot about this one.
\xa0
Steve: This has happened frequently though.
\xa0
Coulton: It has.\xa0
\xa0
Steve: Happened on the Trump one.
\xa0
Coulton: The first time it happened, I was kind of surprised. I was like, "Really? Alright."\xa0
\xa0
CUSTOMER SUPPORT FUNNY #14\xa0
\xa0
- Unsubscribe me\u2026 \xa0(I think you\u2019re a HACKER)
\xa0
So I literally got an email from somebody asking to unsubscribe them from the email list and I'm like "Okay, that's weird,\u201d but I have to ask\u2026
\xa0
- \xa0\u201cWhy do you wanna be unsubscribed?\u201d\xa0
\xa0
- \u201cAnd then also, there is an unsubscribe button at the bottom of the email. You can literally click and it'll unsubscribe you just by clicking it."
\xa0
Steve: Which, legally, we have to have in there by the way.
\xa0
Coulton: Right? It works. Yeah. I mean I unsubscribe from emails I don't want all the time.\xa0
\xa0
So she wrote back and it was awesome.\xa0
\xa0
She's like, "Why would I ever click on anything in an email that has 'hacks' in the subject line?"\xa0
\xa0
Austin: Which, to her credit, to her credit... Right?\xa0
\xa0
Steve: But to a hacker, if you put the word 'hacks' in and everyone knows what you're doing...\xa0
\xa0
Coulton: I know, right? Like, "I'm a hacker, I'm gonna put 'hacks' in my headline."
\xa0
Steve: They don't do that.
\xa0
Coulton: Then my next thought is, is how did she get on the email list in the first place? Where did you go to put your email in???\xa0
\xa0
It was probably a page that said Secret MLM Hacks - I'm just saying.
\xa0
Steve: We use the word "HACK" and "SECRET" - EVERYWHERE!
\xa0
Coulton: Yeah. I don't know, it blew my mind.\xa0
\xa0
Steve: And she got mad and wouldn't unsubscribe...\xa0
\xa0
So then you said, "Well, I guess you'll just keep getting the emails then."
\xa0
Coulton: I'm like, "Well, I'm sorry. You have to unsubscribe. So I guess you'll just keep getting emails. That's cool with me, but... "
\xa0
\xa0Yeah. If you don't like it, unsubscribe.
\xa0
Austin: Man, I don't know...
\xa0
Steve: Any others? Any other all-stars that have come across in the past little bit?\xa0
\xa0
CUSTOMER SUPPORT FUNNY #15\xa0
\xa0
Austin: We get pitch after pitch after pitch after pitch. They're always unique in their own way.\xa0
\xa0
Steve: They're kind of surprising though, some of them.\xa0
\xa0
Some people will say, "Well, I'll teach you how to make an offer."\xa0
\xa0
It's like, \u201cYou don't even know what we do!!!!\u201d
\xa0
\xa0The Instagram ones are hilarious - I get a lot of those.
\xa0
Coulton: "Let me help you build it," or "You're not getting enough engagement."
\xa0
Austin: Also\u2026
\xa0
If you're trying to get Steve's attention, spell his name right, please. Please spell his name right.
Steve: Yeah, S-T-E-V-E-N? Oh, man.
\xa0
Coulton: That's awesome.
\xa0
Steve: Yeah, there's been a few really funny parts about that.\xa0
\xa0
And finally...
\xa0
WE LOVE YOU!
\xa0
Just all in all, guys, we want you to know, we wanted to walk through this, but what we're not trying to create here is a feeling that someone has...\xa0
\xa0
We're not downplaying any questions anybody has.\xa0
\xa0
Questions are a good thing, but I also do believe that there's such thing as a stupid question.\xa0
\xa0
That whole thing they tell you in school is dumb\u2026
\xa0
\xa0"There's no such thing as a dumb question."\xa0
\xa0
Yes, there is!
\xa0
A dumb question is one that you took no thought to try to answer on your own.
\xa0
\xa0It's not meant to be rude, it's just that's just how entrepreneurs think.
\xa0
- We've got Google
\xa0
- I have a YouTube education.\xa0
\xa0
You can search this massive vault.\xa0
\xa0
Never in the history of the world has ever been so much information present, but such a lack of learning how to access it or how to actually get after it.\xa0
\xa0
- We love our customers
\xa0
- We love you guys
\xa0
- We love the show
\xa0
- We love everything that has been happening here
\xa0
...and we're just going through these 'cause it's honestly... this is kind of the watered-down version.\xa0
\xa0
We get a lot of garbage from people who clearly hate our guts.
\xa0
...so some of this might be a little bit of a steam-blowing-off episode as well, but yeah.
\xa0
Coulton: But it's a very small portion of it. You guys do an awesome job overall, it's just there's those ones that come in that really stick out.
\xa0
Steve: We'll always try to over-deliver, too.\xa0
\xa0
That's really what I've tried to build the name that we've developed here is by over-delivering.
\xa0
... and I always encourage you to do that to anybody that you go serve.\xa0
\xa0
We do that in fun, little surprising ways as well\u2026
\xa0
\xa0Doing this show costs us a lot of money, frankly - and it\u2019s one of the ways that we try to over-deliver.
\xa0
One final thing...
\xa0
BUSTING THE CUSTOMER SUPPORT MYTH
\xa0
Somebody mentioned once, "If you had amazing fulfillment, you'd never need support!"\xa0
\xa0
That is so false.\xa0
\xa0
That person has never actually sold anything EVER - that is a theorist talking.\xa0
\xa0
That person got straight As in school.
\xa0
Because it's NOT true.\xa0
\xa0
Every once in a while, something does happen with email and it doesn't show up and something doesn't work...\xa0
\xa0
And it's not that we're trying to scam anybody, something in a system jacked up somewhere and we wanna fix it as much as the other person wants to receive it.
\xa0
Anyway, we're very, very thankful for you guys.\xa0
\xa0
Thanks for following the journey.\xa0
\xa0
THE END OF SALES FUNNEL RADIO
\xa0
We thought it'd be kind of fun as Sales Funnel Radio will be ending at episode 300, as far as our involvement here with it\u2026
\xa0
\xa0And I wanted to make kind of a fun episode...\xa0
\xa0
I mean how many support tickets we've gotten total? I mean in the last two years.
\xa0
Coulton: I have no clue.\xa0
\xa0
Steve: 'Cause we were on that other system for a while, which was terrible - I like the new one.
\xa0
Coulton: Are we on 20,000-something? 20-something-thousand?\xa0
\xa0
Austin: I feel like that's pretty fair, yeah.
\xa0
Steve: Yeah, and it has nothing to do with fulfillment.\xa0
\xa0
Some people are just wondering a genuine question, and they're like, "Oh I'll go reach out like this..."\xa0
\xa0
...and NOT realizing that it's probably the least effective way to try to get my attention.\xa0
\xa0
So anyway. Yeah, anyway.
\xa0
Coulton: Sometimes it just takes less time to actually just look into the problem and figure it out.
\xa0
Steve: The FAQs at the bottom of the page that we always put there.\xa0
\xa0
You entrepreneurs watching this right now, make sure that you make it easy for people to reach out to you.\xa0
\xa0
WHEN IS THE PURCHASE OVER?
\xa0
My wife and I bought this water machine about two months ago, it is still not installed.\xa0
\xa0
The installation process with this company has been so horrendous that I love the product, but I'm looking at it and I'm trying to not hate the product simply 'cause I can't use it.\xa0
\xa0
Make sure that the fulfillment you\u2019re delivering is as smooth and seamless as it possibly could be.\xa0
\xa0
It always could be better.\xa0
\xa0
The purchase is never over at the checkout, at the card swipe.\xa0
\xa0
Your customers have gotta...\xa0
\xa0
- Get it
\xa0
- Use it
\xa0
- \xa0Have success with it\xa0
\xa0
That's the best thing you can do post-purchase to ensure the success of your company.\xa0
\xa0
So make it easy for your customers... and people who aren't...\xa0
\xa0
Anything else?\xa0
\xa0
Austin: That's all I have.
\xa0
Coulton: Cool.
\xa0
Steve: Awesome, guys. Get rich, get back. We'll see you guys in the next episode.
\xa0
Alright!\xa0
\xa0
*You* reading this right now, you're in one of two scenarios.\xa0
\xa0
Either\u2026
\xa0
\xa0You're currently selling a product and you've got a slick sales funnel and traffic...
\xa0
\xa0There are ads and you have content, bringing in new customers. You have upsells, downsells,\xa0 and phone sales.\xa0
\xa0
You've almost automated it, making money while doing everyday things.\xa0
\xa0
Either that's all set up and going\u2026
\xa0
\xa0OR\u2026
\xa0
\xa0The second option is you don't have any of that, and you're still trying to make this work and tie all of these pieces together.\xa0
\xa0
If you want my help, just go to capitalistcoaching.com and see where you can get started.
\xa0
\xa0It took me a long time to get the skills for all this to get moving\u2026
\xa0
- Writing the sales letter
\xa0
- Making the sales videos
\xa0
- Building the funnel
\xa0
- Writing follow-up emails
\xa0
- Promo campaigns
\xa0
- Promo emails
\xa0
- Fulfillment plans
\xa0
- Fresh new ads
\xa0
... there's A LOT.\xa0
\xa0
And the path to move forward is different for each person.\xa0
\xa0
So I created capitalistcoaching.com for you to check out where *you* need to start.\xa0
\xa0
Whether you're just starting out with\u2026
\xa0
- \xa0No product
\xa0
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\xa0
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\xa0
OR\u2026
\xa0
\xa0If you're like one of our BIG corporate clients who just need to add more revenue and scale your offer, go to capitalistcoaching.com.
\xa0
\xa0I don't really believe in shortcuts, but I do know you can speed up the path on the journey
\xa0
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