SFR 225 - Why My Coaching Is Loved AND Hated...
It wasn't on purpose, but there's a certain style of coaching that I like to live by. It\u2019s certainly effective, but can make some people... not like me, ha!
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I've never seen anyone make a million dollars who wasn't trying to.
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After coaching thousands of people I\u2019d be an idiot to not see patterns\u2026
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When I first started coaching at ClickFunnels everyone thought that I\u2019d be teaching strategy. However, the truth is that getting MOST people to move forward with strategy takes a MASSIVE amount of work on their mindset.
PERSONAL GROWTH MAT TIME
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In One Funnel Away Challenge, I'm the guy who yells every day. BOOM! I yell a lot. I\u2019m kinda NO BS. So I want to explain to you the difference between sympathy versus empathy, as it relates to my coaching.
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Here are a couple of observations I\u2019ve made from all my hours of coaching:
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- People often come with the expectation that I\u2019ll just tell them to click a button and they\u2019ll make millions! (Even though ClickFunnels is probably the closest to that of anything that's out there\u2026 that still NOT gonna happen.)
- People fight the shift they have to go through personally because it can feel like pain... pain is not the right word, but sometimes a shift can feel like pain.
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You have to go through a shift. You have to uninstall crap in your head and reinstall NEW beliefs.
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A lot of it comes down to shedding beliefs that we\u2019ve been taught about money either from parents or other authority figures.
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Success has MORE to do with your beliefs around money than the patterns or strategies I'm teaching.
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I'm trying to prep your brain so when you hear me speak you don\u2019t put up a wall ...or think, \u201cWell that works for Steve \u2018cause he's Steve.\u201d
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Man, I was NOT Steve three years ago.
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Sales Funnel Radio has only been out for three years.
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When I started publishing my acceleration just went through the roof. It was NUTS! That's why I keep telling all of you guys to freakin\u2019 publish. It'll change your life.
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If you feel yourself having a little negative knee-jerk reaction that you're not quite controlling to anything I say, then check yourself!
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Sit back and ask, \u201cWhy am I having this reaction?\u201d
FOR EXAMPLE:
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If I say, \u201cHey, please be a capitalist pig and get as rich as possible \xa0because it gives you more ability to help people in this world...\u201d
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\u2026 I know that as I'm saying that I know people often feel this little knee-jerk reaction.
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( I know just because I work with tens of thousands of people )
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- ...but Stephen! I was taught this way.
- ...but that means that I have to experience personal growth in order to consume and believe that belief.
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I'm NOT making fun of you. I just want you to be wary of the things that you're telling yourself.
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That's the stuff that's keeping you back. That\u2019s the stuff that you have to self-identify and be prepared to question:
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\u201cOh my gosh, I have some false beliefs I didn't realize they were there.\u201d
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That's NOT easy to do. I know it's NOT easy.
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GET OUTTA YOUR OWN WAY
One of the major reasons why someone will stop their progress in a programs I'm teaching isn\u2019t because what I'm teaching is hard\u2026
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*IT\u2019S JUST NEW*
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People stop because they hit a personal growth zone that their NOT expecting and it's uncomfortable.
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So people start looking around for excuses, \u201cHey Stephen, this is really good... but it's just a lot of material!\u201d
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I'm like:
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- \u201cOh is that the excuse you're using to slowly back away from what I told you to do?\u201d
- Is that the excuse you're using to back away and logically justify removing yourself from growth?
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That's some fiery crap, but I say that stuff in my programs because people need to understand what's going on.
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TRUTH
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The NEW ways and methods that I teach are NOT any less true because you won\u2019t find them in college textbooks or mainstream books and media.
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Truth does not require consensus.
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I heard Myron Golden say that recently. It's a great quote.
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Truth does not require consensus!
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\u2026 which is awesome. It's really good news! \xa0But it's also really sucky because most of us feel like we're running alone in the game for a while.
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It's NOT that what I'm teaching you is not true, but rather it\u2019s a question of how well you\u2019re adhering to it?\u201d
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No! Adhering is the wrong word.
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I hate constriction. I don't do well with someone trying to constrict or confine me. I'm bad at that.
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Adhering is the wrong word, my bad\u2026
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How well are you growing? \xa0If you measure you against you... NOT somebody else.
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Half of getting over false beliefs is just understanding WHAT false beliefs you have. As soon as *YOU* understand that you have a false belief, you can just kind of uninstall it.
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Like, \u201cOh crap that's NOT true! Where did I learn that?
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- Parents?
- A Teacher?
- Some Authority Figure?
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Maybe you\u2019ve always believed that, but is it true? For that person, in that time, in that scenario, it may have been true...
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But that blueprint doesn\u2019t have to be YOUR blueprint.
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INSTALLING PERSONAL GROWTH
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I know what I'm talking about because I've gone through the same process to uninstall my own false beliefs ... AND it\u2019s still going on.
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I know which false beliefs I'm hitting now and I'm trying to overcome them. It\u2019s Me Against Me.
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Most people are looking to have some kind of logical release from the pressure of moving forward. The positive pressure, growth pressure... the type of pressure you get in the gym.
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People make an excuse and they pick it up like a flag. They use it as a banner. That's the theme they use to run out of my world. I see it all the time:
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- I don't really have time.
- I don\u2019t have the money to do this.
- I haven't quite found my voice yet.
We are all individuals, but our brains still tend to work logically and emotionally in the same kind of way.
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So when I say it\u2019s time is build a funnel\u2026 all the excuses appear:
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Q: But how do I build a funnel?
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A: Click Add Funnel!
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Q: Where\u2019s the button?
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A: It's the BIG orange button in the center at the top of the screen.
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Q: But how do I do it?
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A: Are you freaking kidding me?
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You just want me to tell you that you're NOT a good fit. So you can release yourself from taking action. I will NEVER do that!
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In fact, I was telling a good friend last night, I have empathy because I've been through that personal growth. That doesn't stop.
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Your personal growth just increases and the problems you're trying to solve change.
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EMPATHY VERSUS SYMPATHY
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I have empathy for the person who is poor right now and who\u2019s trying to make it work\u2026
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Because I've been there.
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That was three or four years of my life. It was so hard. It was hard emotionally and hard on my self-esteem.
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However, I don't have sympathy for the scenario or that person who is trying to get me to say, \u201cYou're probably not a good fit.\u201d So that they can go back to their friends and family and save face by saying:
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\u201cSteve said I wasn\u2019t \xa0a good fit because of x, y, and z.\u201d
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Without the courage to change belief and take action the model work for them \u2026 so they're trying to save face. They're trying to save status\u2026
I'm NOT gonna give you that card EVER because I believe you are better than you think you are.
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We're all trying to progress and trying to grow, but you\u2019ll only do that if you recognize your false beliefs.
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EXCUSES
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There are over 500 Two Comma Club Award winners. 500!
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How much more social proof does someone need to start taking some freaking action in their life? BUT that's not the problem\u2026
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The problem is when someone says:
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- I'm gonna go make my first funnel.
- I'm gonna go make my first sales message.
- I'm gonna do a webinar for the first time.
- I'm gonna do a podcast
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AThey get into one my programs and pay me for it...
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I tell them exactly what to do...
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Because it's just a freaking pattern.
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It's all a framework. It's all a model. It's all a pattern.
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Then I say, \u201cDid you do what I assigned you last week?\u201d They say, \u201cWell, no, I haven't quite done it yet, but I went through the videos.\u201d
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So, you're telling me that you:
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- Went through the videos.
- Learned the patterns, the models and the frameworks
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...but you didn't take action on it?
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That screams internal hangup. That screams massive, massive voice going on inside the head.
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I'm NOT throwing rocks at the fact that you're having those challenges. EVERYONE experiences these challenges with every new opportunity that we take.
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It's part of the demons-in-the-head game that we all get. Not just in entrepreneurship, but in every single thing we do in our lives. I'm NOT throwing rocks at the fact that it happens.
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I'm throwing rocks at the fact that people use it as a banner to give up.
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Rather than take the opportunity to grow, people step back and say, \u201cWell, Stephen, I really want to be able to do this, but it's not a good time for me.\u201d *BULLCRAP*
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No time is a good time. That's freaking garbage. I'm gonna call BS on that.
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I have empathy. No sympathy though. I have NO sympathy. I'm not gonna sit back and say, \u201cOh, you're probably right.\u201d That's NOT a good coach.
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I'm not here to make you feel good. I'm not here to make you feel better. I'm here to make YOU better. That's the role that I serve.
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It's not for me to be like this, \u201cOh, it's okay. Let me care about your emotions more than your output.\u201d
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I don't care about effort. I care about outcomes.
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OUTCOME MODE
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My Content Team is so freaking awesome. Not one of them will step back and say,
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\u201cWell, Stephen, I tried to get the episode out on time, but I tried but just didn't cause Glee was on.\u201d
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You gotta treat this as a business.
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I don't pay for effort. No one does. That's just freaking capitalism, baby.
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My content team is so freaking awesome because they all know that.
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The funnel building team that I've built all know that I'm paying for outcomes, NOT effort.
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The same is true for you and your growth, but most people don't go there.
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I'm trying to help people self-identify when they are in effort mode, which is like pansy-zone... and when they are in outcome mode, which is like:
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\u201cI know it might hurt because I need to grow, but I'm willing to feel a little pain in order to get the outcome in myself, and the change that myself requires to have a successful business.\u201d
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Sometimes people get on my coaching calls because they want to feel the semblance of growth and progression.
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They keep getting on the calls and they say, \u201cI got on the call today. I feel momentum. I'm doing it.\u201d
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*Even though they haven't done ANYTHING*
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You getting this? \u2026 just trial closing ya ;-)
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GETTING HONEST
People have a hard time until they get a little tough with themselves. Not that you have to be tough... \xa0just HONEST.
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When people get honest with themselves about:
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- Where they are?
- Where they're not?
- Where they're efforts are providing real fruits... and where they're not?
- Where they are trying to get released from growth?
- Where they're actually growing?
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Until someone actually sees and identifies their own false beliefs and BS, it\u2019s tough.
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\u201cStephen, I don't have my first follow-up yet. I just don't have any time.\u201d
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I ask them to do a time study and it turns out they\u2019re watching freakin\u2019 four hours of Netflix a day! Are you kidding me?
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I\u2019ve got no sympathy. I won't grant you any. I got empathy because I've been there. No sympathy though, I'm never going to give someone that privilege.
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I'm never going to give someone the release or the license of this is what you need to be doing.
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EXCUSES
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If you\u2019re feeling kinda \xa0twingy in the brain or the heart... and you're like,\u201cGAH!\u201d
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I'm NOT trying to make anyone mad.
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I'm trying to help you self-identify where your false beliefs about this game are?
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- \u201cStephen, I would totally move forward on this, but for me right now\u2026\u201d
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Don't you dare throw the \u2018right now\u2019 and \u2018time thing\u2019 at me! I hate that one. It drives me up the freaking wall.
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- \u201cI just don't have time to pull this off.\u201d
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Are you serious? Are you kidding me? I was full-time in the army. Full-time college. Married. Kids...
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I had to learn how to learn faster in college so I could squeeze out two-three hours of funnel building time a day.
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I hardly slept for a little while. Was it worth it? You better freakin\u2019 believe it. Yes!
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I don't do that now. I believe in hustle but not like 24/7 hustle. Sorry, Gary V. \xa0
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HUSTLE AND HARVEST
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There's a time and season for everything. I call it the hustle and harvest phase
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I'm gonna hustle and build the thing\u2026 because time is valuable. I'm gonna build my thing quickly, and I'm gonna hustle.
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I'm going to be willing and open to experience pain in order to get it done, personally, on an internal believe level\u2026
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I\u2019m just NOT gonna wear not sleeping for three days as a badge of honor, #funnelhacker. I think that's crap.
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There are times and seasons for funnel hacking at massive hustle speed where you don't sleep. I get that, but\u2026
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- That's NOT the point.
- That's NOT sustainable.
- That's NOT why I do what I do.
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I Hustle and then I Harvest.
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In the harvest phase, I'm building a lot of systems. I used to call it Build and Harvest, but there\u2019s nice alliteration to Hustle and Harvest...
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So now it's Hustle and Harvest. Hustle, Harvest, Hustle, Harvest.
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I don't always run hard.
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Man, sometimes I'll sit back and watch The Office for the fourth time... and that\u2019s ok.
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I'm NOT trying to ALWAYS be on 100% output.
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EFFORT & RELAXATION
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I've had multiple people ask me, \u201cStephen, do you ever take a break?\u201d I'm like, \u201cYeah.\u201d
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I took a huge break last night. It was awesome. It was so nice. It was so cool. I didn't do anything. I was so lazy.
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When I prepared my speech and slides for Funnel Hacking Live I did a combination of massive concentrated effort mixed with massive, aggressive relaxation.
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BUT it's the hustle phase that I'm trying to get people into with the One Funnel Away , the Two Comma Club X, and all of my programs.
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I'm trying to get people to identify in themselves what they are deciding to hold themselves back with because they don't want to experience growth.
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Empathy. Not Sympathy.
I CHALLENGE YOU
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Know before you go I want to challenge you, (don\u2019t just read this and take no action)...
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I challenge you to write just the one false belief you know you've been using a banner to not move forward in your life. I challenge you to do that.
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You get bonus points for this one if you decide to post about it. Do some kind of publishing about it. Like, \u201cHey, look, I realized I've identified I want this but\u2026.\u201d
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It's not vulnerability. It's not weakness. It's Truth.
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Tell the truth... and tell everybody:
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\u201cI've been wanting to go do this, but I haven\u2019t done it in my life because I've had a hard time with these beliefs and overcoming them... but I know they're false.\u201d
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Let everyone know that's what you\u2019re working on and your plan to get over it. I promise you're gonna have an army of people who are excited for you and want to help you overcome.
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I challenge you to identify what's been holding you back.
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BOOM! Until Next Time - KEEP CRUSHING IT!
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Hey, just real quick:
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A few months ago Russell asked me to write a chapter for a secret project he was doing. I had to write a chapter for a book, this was the letter I got from him.
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He said:
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"Hey Stephen, let me ask you a quick question...
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You suddenly lose all your money, along with your name and your reputation, and only have your marketing know-how left. \xa0
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You have bills piled high and people harassing you for money over the phone.
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You have a guaranteed roof over your head, a phone line, an internet connection, and a ClickFunnels account for only one month.
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You no longer have your big guru name, your following, your JV partners. Other than your vast marketing experience, you're an unknown newbie...
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What would you do from Day1 - 30 to save yourself?
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Russell Brunson
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Hey, if you want to see my answer and a bunch of other marketers who also answered that in this amazing book and summit, just go to 30days.com/stephen.
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\xa0You can see the entire summit, you can see the book, you can see what we wrote in there and each of our detailed plans. Just go to 30days.com/stephen.