SFR 150: Competing With Your Attractive Character...
What's going on, everyone? It's Steve Larsen, and today, we\u2019re gonna talk about how to compete with your Attractive Character.
\xa0
I just spent the last four years learning from the most brilliant marketers today. And now, I've left my nine to five to take the plunge and build my million-dollar business. The real question is, how will I do it without VC funding or debt, completely from scratch? This podcast is here to give you the answer.
\xa0
Join me and follow along as I learn, apply, and share marketing strategies to grow my online business, using only today's best internet sales funnels. My name is Steve Larsen, and welcome to Sales Funnel Radio.
\xa0
Guys, I'm pumped for today. This could be a bunch of fun.
\xa0
A lot of guys know, I was really shy for a long time, right? And I've mentioned that many times, and some of you guys have said, that's not true, Stephen. No way that's true, right?
\xa0
But I was. I was really shy for a long time. I would say I even had a near-clinical fear of adults. You know, I would see an adult, and I would physically move in a different direction - I did that for a time.
\xa0
Even into my early 20s, I was pretty shy. It's not that I was like cowering, or \xa0that I wouldn't speak to anybody else...
\xa0
It's just that I was doing everything that I could to not engage with human beings. I don't know why I was that way. It\u2019s not that I was really reclusive\u2026 or that I was sitting back all the time, going, \u201cugh, it's a person.\u201d That's not how I was at all. But there was no way I would be getting on stage now. There was no way I would ever do something like a podcast. Just the thought of that would freak me out. To have a camera on my face right now, there's no way.
\xa0
When I finally became cognizant that I was this way, I started noticing all these business people who were amazing leaders. I\u2019d be, \u201coh my gosh, check out those guys... Look at him, he's so impressive. He speaks and things sway. I wanted to develop that skill.
\xa0
I started doing things like door-to-door sales for the explicit reason of learning how to sell in scary environments. I started doing telemarketing, for the explicit reason of going in and learning how to sell hard in environments where you're constantly getting rejected.
\xa0
I don't know that everyone has to go through this kind of thing, but for me, I chose to start molding who I was... and who I was trying to become. It was a really challenging thing to go through. \xa0As I started getting more into it, I noticed that my ability to speak and to give sales messages started improving.
\xa0
Several years before I started working for Russell, I realized that I needed to get even better at this whole stand and deliver concept. I wanted to work out how to become\u2026 I don't wanna say, \u2018a leader\u2019\u2026 How to become... a \u2018follow-able person\u2019. It's kind of like saying leader.
\xa0
Anyway, but I was trying to figure out how to do that. Because from my background, and where I was coming from - that was an insanely hard thing to do!
\xa0
I would take my computer and find videos of people on stage. I did this specifically with Russell Brunson's stuff. This was way before we ever knew each other personally. I would take his videos - videos of him on stage, and I would go in front of a mirror, mute the video of him, so I could see him, but not hear him. And he'd be making all these gestures and I would mirror him. I would mimic him. \xa0
\xa0
I\u2019d be moving around all over the place, mirroring and mimicking everything he was doing. It was so weird. It was awkward. I know that it\u2019s weird, but it was what I needed to start breaking out of the shell I was in.. It\u2019s how \u2018Steve Larsen\u2019 was born.
\xa0
Fast forward, I was working for Russell, sitting next to him; I was about 40-ish episodes into Sales Funnel Radio... \xa0We were running this thing called the FHAT event - the Funnel Hackathon Event. People would pay 15 grand for three days, and I would teach for hours. I mean, man, it was a long freaking time!
\xa0
Well, the very first FHAT event, we were vetting out the content, we were making sure that everything was awesome and solid. Then, right before Russell goes on stage, he turns around at me, and he goes, "Hey dude. Do you wanna introduce me?"
\xa0
I always make it a habit to say \u201cYES\u2019 - especially when someone with a lot of influence asks me to do something\u2026 \xa0My knee-jerk reaction is to say \u201cYES!\u201d and then figure out how to do it later. This attitude has brought me to some cool places in life.
\xa0
At the FHAT event, the room's filled with loads of people - very successful people.There's like 60 people in there, and many millions - tens of millions - hundreds of millions of dollars, collectively inside of that room.
\xa0
There's a lot of Russells inner circle - and they know what the heck they're talking about, right? I was like, crap, I gotta get on and introduce\u2026
\xa0
The whole role of somebody who introduces somebody else is merely to raise the state of the room so that when the speaker comes on, they don't have to raise the state of the room. They can just walk on and start presenting.
\xa0
Otherwise, the speaker spends a whole bunch of time to do that. Russell told me, \u201cthat's your role.\u201d \xa0I was like, crap! How can I do that? It's not like Russell's low energy. How do I introduce Russell Brunson in a way that suits who he is? That suits his audience?
\xa0
It was very challenging for me. I remember sitting there. I mean, he asked me three minutes ahead of time, to go on and do this. Immediately I was like, okay, is there a script? Is there like a format that good introducers use to bring on other prominent people? There's gotta be something. What can I do?
\xa0
Russell walked over, and he said, "Hey, just make sure you raise the state of the room- that way, I don't have to."
\xa0
I was like, oh crap. Okay, another huge task. Okay, sweet. Inside, I was like, oh, crap! He could tell I was stressing out. He knew that I had done all that stuff, like stand in front of a mirror with his videos muted, \xa0just moving around and mimicking what he's doing.
\xa0
He knew I\u2019d done door-to-door. He knew I\u2019d done telemarketing. He knew I\u2019d done a lot of stuff and become good at them so that I could break out of my shell.
\xa0
Instead of fight the fact that I was in a shell, I accepted the fact, and just did things to come out of it.
\xa0
Knowing this, Russell turned to me, and this is what he said, and this is the reason why I wanna share this with you... Because it really, really, really matters:
\xa0
He turned to me, and he said, he said, "Dude, "You model me. It's quite impressive how you model me. You model me to the \u2018T.\u2019 You do everything that I do. You model me so well, but you\u2019ve got to have your own voice eventually. Just do it how you\u2019d introduce me."
\xa0
It's funny because I knew that answer, but for Russell to say it \u2018in that way\u2019, I really took notice.
\xa0
At that time, I'd already been publishing. I'd already been doing a whole bunch of stuff. I would already say that I had, quote, unquote, found my voice. \xa0However, when he said, dude, you gotta have your own \u2018isms\u2019, you gotta have your own character, you gotta have your own thing, I started thinking through, what makes \u2018me\u2019 me?
\xa0
These were all quick thoughts that were hitting me as I'm about to walk on stage. I don't remember what I said, but it went great. The energy in the room got really high. It's half the reason I yell like crazy, guys. Those are all little things that I do on stage before bringing somebody big on, and, and it's a bunch of fun.
\xa0
What does this have to do with anything? It has to do with everything....
\xa0
Your business competes in the marketplace based on how much value it provides, right? You're very valuable if you answer a lot of questions, if you solve things for people, if you give things that people want, if you give things that people need (I suggest you go for the wants, not the needs - You\u2019ll make more money). However, let\u2019s start thinking through what value your business gives to the ecosystem - to the market? Because that's where you compete on the business side - with your strengths.
\xa0
How can you be the best? How can you deliver more? How can you be more than the other guy? How can you do things in an entirely brand new, unique way? That's \xa0what the business side competes on. Strengths.
\xa0
Your Attractive Character, however, doesn\u2019t compete on strengths. Isn\u2019t that interesting? Let me explain\u2026
\xa0
In the first office that I was a part of with ClickFunnels, Russell and I would sit back to back. His computer and my computer screens were facing each other, so I could see his reflection in my screen...
\xa0
I'd be building these funnels - In the first two months, I was totally mute. I didn't wanna say anything. I was like, this is freaking Russell Brunson, like, oh my gosh, look, Y'all, oh my gosh. He's gonna melt me with his marketing zeroes and ones, huh! I\u2019d see his reflection in my screen 24/7 right there, I was like, don't say anything or you'll die. That was my mentality.
\xa0
I remember my desk was a picnic table that was slightly too high, and my chair was slightly too low - so I get a lot of back pain 'cause I have kind of long arms. These details are burned into my head... I remember the way that room smelled, I remember the way it looked, I remember everything about that room. Over to my right, there was a book. I never read it, but it was called: \u2018How The World Sees You.\u2019 And on the back, it said two things. One of them was, \u201cDon't compete on your strengths. Compete on your differences.\u201d I thought that was really interesting.
\xa0
The other one was, \u201cYou don't learn interesting, you unlearn boring.\u201d
\xa0
Now, I wanna look at those two phrases real quick. You have to understand that this is HOW your Attractive Character competes.
\xa0
On the business side, you compete on strengths. Your business, the systems, the offer, the marketing.
\xa0
But with your attractive character (which marketing bleeds into for sure) - You don't compete on strengths! Somebody will always be better, faster, stronger, right or \xa0better-looking, right? Does that make sense?
\xa0
Someone's always gonna be more talented. Someone's always gonna be boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. So on that measure, your attractive character will die.
\xa0
It\u2019s the fastest way to entrepreneurial suicide; to start competing with your attractive character on strengths because it\u2019s never gonna be enough.
\xa0
You start comparing yourselves to ideals. The problem with an ideal is that it\u2019s fluffy, it's fictitious, it's out there. There's no way for you to know if you'll ever hit it... And because of that, it's not measurable - so it's not attainable.
\xa0
As an entrepreneur you start spinning your wheels and comparing yourself to an ideal. To strengths. Don't do that. Don't do that. \xa0I did that for a long time. I'm speaking from experience with this stuff. I did that for quite some time. It sucked. It was hard because you start saying things like, \u201cman, I don't know if I'm ever gonna make this. Am I ever actually gonna be successful with this?\u201d Right?
\xa0
Every one of us has said that. Come on, I know we all have, right? Am I ever gonna, is something wrong with me? Oh my gosh, another two people made a million, you know, made the two comma club today. Crap. Gosh, dang it. Are you kidding me? Right? What's wrong with me?
\xa0
Something must be wrong with me, because it\u2019s not the funnel, it's not this, it's not that. It has to be me, right? And the entrepreneur starts to blame themselves because they're comparing themselves to where the other people are. They're comparing themselves to another person's business. That's a stupid comparison. Don't do it.
\xa0
The way to move forward on the Attractive Character is to compare YOU to YOUR history. That's it. That is what keeps you from, from self-sabotaging, from literally burying yourself. It's like your brain eventually turns submarine mode, and it doesn't know how to go back up.
\xa0
You start sinking-and going further, and further down. Oh crap, I can't get this, something must be wrong with me, because all these other people are getting it done.
\xa0
You're comparing themselves with somebody's business. Stupid, dumb comparison. Because while a business competes on strengths, an attractive character competes on DIFFERENCES - YOU compete on your differences. \xa0It is so much easier. My gosh, guys, you\u2019ll save your sanity.
\xa0
If you guys haven't been following me on Instagram, (I think you'll like it)... Monday morning, I always yell, and it's exactly what it sounds like. I yell. I get up, and I yell, whoo, yeah.
\xa0
What I've been doing lately is having a whole bunch of you guys yelling back. \xa0In the the highlights - Russell's in there yelling, Peng Joon's in there yelling - it's really fun.
\xa0
Go check it out if you want to; you'll see what I'm talking about. But why do I do that? It's because it's what I would do anyway. I'm just me, but louder\u2026 That's the real trick with becoming an attractive character.
\xa0
This internet business, does not exist for you to have to change into someone you\u2019re not... Meaning there's this facade, right? There's this facade about what it means to be successful. I don't want any expensive fancy cars. Heh. Right? I'm not living in a mansion, urgh. Right? And there's this facade that's complete garbage when it comes to what it means to be successful on the internet. There's this persona that you have to go live. It's crap. It's complete garbage. Don't believe it. It doesn't make sense.
\xa0
For those people who are doing it because that's who they truly are, great, I'm not poo-pooing on that. Like, that's great, okay, stay that course. That's awesome.
\xa0
What I'm saying is those of you guys who are not naturally that way - you don\u2019t have to pretend. If you want those things, that's awesome, but you don't have to pretend to be someone different to be successful.
\xa0
I'm saying this because I've heard a lot of people say things to the equivalent of, I don't even own a briefcase, how can I be successful, urgh. Right? It's like, what? That's not what the game's about, right? Your business competes on strengths, but your Attractive Character competes on differences.
\xa0
What makes me \u2018me\u2019 is how I compete; so I listen to music more openly, 'cause I'm always listening to music - my kind of music. I don't care if people don't like it because it\u2019s one of the things that makes me different. \xa0
\xa0
On the business side, I can't say that though. When it comes to products, I need to have slight reactions to what the market wants me to build for them\u2026
\xa0
However, for the Attractive Character, that's not how it works. I can do all the quirky things I love to do. The little character traits that I have that make me a bit weird... those things that I don't necessarily want other people to see... Man, those are your freakin' superpowers. That's the stuff to go publish about.
\xa0
Right now, I'm yelling into a camera in an office by myself. It would be weird for other people to come to see this. I don't care. Right? For a long time, I would've cared though, 'cause I had that same perception.
\xa0
I was like, this is what it means to be successful in this business; I have to go have X, Y and Z over here. I need to have this kind of suit, and I must look this way, I must act this way. I must be slightly recluse from all of these other people and set myself apart\u2026
\xa0
(I still have to be a little bit reclusive sometimes, when I'm around other people, \xa0just to recharge, but it's not for the same reason. Mentally, I have to recharge, 'cause there's a lot of questions 24/7 at events, you know. Whoo, and I'm like, whoa, I gotta separate and isolate for a second)
\xa0
When I hear somebody say, \u201cI don't know that I can be successful because I have a stutter\u201d or I have this limitation or that limitation, or I'm dyslexic, or I have ADHD. Man, that\u2019s just wrong! \xa0
\xa0
I had this counselor once tell me that I have a lot of tendencies of ADHD. And for a long time, I used to think that this was a hindrance. That's garbage. It's bullcrap.
\xa0
Did you know that most billionaires are dyslexic? Seriously, go look it up. Richard Branson - the guy's dyslexic - it didn\u2019t stop him.
\xa0
Whatever it is about you - I'm not just talking about dyslexia, and you know, ADHD and stuff, whatever - I don't care what it is. Whatever it is about you that makes you feel incompetent- is actually a superpower. Stop acting like it\u2019s a hindrance.
\xa0
The beauty of the internet is that you can become who you are, even more, louder. You don't have to change you - \xa0just be a louder you. That's what the attractive character is.
\xa0
Instagram's kinda fun, 'cause I can do a lot of the little snapshots of what I'm doing throughout the day. I have a little dummy down there that I beat the crap out of. I'm gonna name it \u2018Poverty\u2019, so I can beat the crap out of \u2018poverty\u2019 every morning. It's really fun. But no one's telling me to do that. That's my own creativity and my own little weirdness kicking in. That's great for my Attractive Character.
\xa0
What's funny is that if you try to go and you compete on strengths, if you try to be something that you\u2019re not - IT WILL SINK YOU. You\u2019ll have a tough time connecting with your audience. Your audience won't feel your authenticity if you're not being true to yourself. People can smell it. They can.
\xa0
When you start having thoughts like, I don't know that I can do this because I have, blank. I have a limitation because of, blank. I have a limitation because of, blank. Those things are the things that you should be publishing about!
\xa0
Not that it's a pity fest. Not that you're walking around all the time, saying like, oh well, follow me, I'm terrible at this. I'm awful at that. That's not what I'm saying at all. The reason I can push so freaking hard, is because I do have some ADHD tendencies. I\u2019ve got a lot of friends who can't do that. It is a superpower.
\xa0
When I talk about this, all of you guys who feel the same way - you reach out to me and you say, I getcha. I feel ya. I'm with ya. I understand what you're saying. If I wasn\u2019t willing to expose my vulnerabilities - the things that I feel I'm limited on - I wouldn\u2019t be able to connect with you in the same way. \xa0Does that make sense?
\xa0
That is why I tell everyone to publish so much. Don't take on a persona that doesn\u2019t feel like you. Just be you - louder.
\xa0
While \xa0businesses competes on strengths and the ability to give results, your attractive character competes on differences. You don\u2019t need to compare yourself to somebody else. If you're comparing your business to somebody else\u2019s, I don't see a massive problem with that, as long as you feel like you\u2019re not your business. You know what I mean?
\xa0
Sometimes in an agency setting you are the business. Well, that can be dangerous. You'd be like, well, I suck at this, I suck at this. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no. Bad.
\xa0
The reality is that you don't have the \u2018systems\u2019 in place to get those things done. That's not YOU! \xa0It\u2019s your business. Right? So get in the habit of running your critiques through a filter.
\xa0
You need to ask\u2019 \u201cIs this a business-oriented adjustment, or is this just, who I am?\u201d
\xa0
On the business side; judge, and critique away. It\u2019s your baby and it's always broken. Don't fall in love with it. But when you head over to the attractive character side; don't judge yourself on how you\u2019re different.
\xa0
Your difference is your superpower - it\u2019s what lets you be you. It's what calls out your tribe and provides the blanket of security for the people who follow you. What makes you attractive, what makes you followable, is your ability to be open with the things that you're not amazing at, your little quirks, the things that you \u2018like\u2019 or \u2018don't like\u2019 - \xa0the polarity that you have\u2026
\xa0
When I say, \u201cI hate this\u201d or \u201cI love this\u201d - It's very polarizing. When I say \u201cI freakin' hate VC funding, I can think of 99% of businesses that probably didn't need it.\u201d I understand that some people are not gonna like that, and that's okay because it's me. I'm totally fine with that.
\xa0
So as you think about your attractive character, don't judge yourself. Don't come over here and be like, oh, I should change, I should be this, I should...
\xa0
I'm always for self-improvement, but don\u2019t tie your self-worth to the worth of your actual business. Don\u2019t tie your self-worth to the value of your offer, or how many people you\u2019ve helped - You are NOT the business.
\xa0
If you\u2019re in this scenario, you need to start separating your business from your attractive character. You can be an attractive character of the business. Every business should have one. However, you are NOT the New Opportunity. You are NOT the Offer. You are NOT the Cause. You ARE the Attractive Character.
\xa0
Every mass movement needs an Attractive Character, a Cause, and an Opportunity. However, the attractive character is in its own category. The Cause and the Opportunity are separate too. They are not judged on the same report card as the Attractive Character.
\xa0
Anyway, I think I've beaten this one down like crazy. I just wanna help entrepreneurs to stop beating ourselves up. If you\u2019re not like everyone else, then good, great, awesome. Be louder about it! You'll find it\u2019s actually an accelerant. It's a catalyst, an enzyme. *Other synonyms*. So that you can go forward faster. Boosh!
\xa0
But only, if you're willing to be open about your differences - that's the key- and the caveat. Again, it\u2019s not a pity fest. That's not what I'm saying at all. Those little quirks are the things that make you amazing and unique.
\xa0
Anyway, I think I've said the same thing like 12 times now, but it's because I'm trying to hit it home! Now, I challenge you to sit down and start thinking about what makes you different. Either write it down - or just start being cognizant of it.
\xa0
I like guns - there's a sniper rifle behind the camera right there. It's an Airsoft sniper rifle. I don't care about being politically correct - because it's me. So start writing down these things. Start being cognizant of who you are - and then be willing to share those differences.
\xa0
It may require you to drop a wall that you\u2019ve been building because you're afraid of people seeing the true you. \u201cI'm not clean all the time\u2026 Sometimes I'm a slob, heh.\u201d Whatever. I don't care, okay?
\xa0
My garage downstairs, it's not painted. Urgh, it shouldn\u2019t be on Instagram because it's not painted, right? I hate that kinda garbage. On stage the other day we were talking about the stack slide. We were talking about using certain scripts, and I was talking a little bit about this\u2026
\xa0
There's one great therapy known to help people get past the fear of doing these kinds of things. It's really interesting. So if you guys raise your arm out at a 45-degree angle in front of you. Next bend, right, at the elbow. So your arm's out 45 degrees, starting bending at the elbow, and then get your hand, kind of like right by your face. Kind of like right by your cheek right here.
\xa0
While you have been watching this, while you have been listening to/ reading this, without you knowing, I have \u2018ninja-ly\u2019 (that's a new word)... Like a ninja, I\u2019ve placed the most deadly spider on your face from South Africa, and it's gonna bite your face.
\xa0
Okay, get that thing off. Just slap that face. Yeah, right, get it done. Get it out there, right?
\xa0
I couldn't tell if it was offensive when I did it on stage, or if it was actually \xa0really cool. But you got the point, though?
\xa0
Just buck up a little bit, and you guys are gonna be awesome. I care about you so much, okay, so much. I think about you guys like, 24/7, and that's 'cause when I look back and see where I've gone, both from a revenue and a business standpoint - it's humbling, right? But I was not expecting all of this other stuff \u2018mentally\u2019 to have to happen.
\xa0
Am I an attractive character? My attractive character has now come to a point and a spot, where it is... My business doesn't move past the level of my attractive character anymore. I now have to develop individually, personally, mentally because my business will not move past the level of my attractive character. It's fascinating.
\xa0
Anyways, guys, I hope that that was helpful. It's a long episode. Thank you for tuning in. I appreciate it. Hopefully, this episode has made you cognizant of the power that you have inside of you. The power that\u2019s already there.
\xa0
All right, I'll talk to you later. Bye.
\xa0
Please remember to rate and subscribe. Got a question you want answering live on the show? Head over to salesfunnelradio.com and ask your question now.