She Found a Snake in the Toilet!

Published: Jan. 25, 2021, 11 a.m.

Can you imagine opening the lid to your toilet, only to discover a snake? What would you do? Here\u2019s what my wife did\u2026OK relax. My wife did not find a snake in the toilet. But this little exercise reveals the subject of today\u2019s podcast\u2026Using story-based emails and subject lines to capture your reader's attention.

There is more noise than ever before in the marketplace, and therefore there\u2019s more competition to get emails opened and read. You\u2019ve got to have something really powerful to hook people's attention. Nothing beats a great story. We\u2019ll\xa0 explain how to use story-based subject lines and email copy in this episode.

Spiritual Foundations\xa0

Do Not Boast About Tomorrow.

\u201cCome now, you who say, \u201cToday or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit\u201d; whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. Instead you ought to say, \u201cIf the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.\u201d\xa0 \xa0

James 4:13-15

I don't think this means that we shouldn't set goals, but I think it does mean we need to have the humility to admit we cannot predict the future...that sometimes, God simply has a different plan.

Feature Presentation

Story Based Email Copy That Gets the Click

One of the cardinal rules of writing is the importance of learning to \u201cshow and not tell\u201d. So instead of saying \u201che had searched the room from top to bottom\u201d, you might say instead, \u201cHe systematically begin taking things out of the top of the closet and throwing them on the floor. Boxes, shoes, sweaters...then he moved to pulling clothes from the hangers and throwing them on the floor. He proceeded to empty the drawers of the dresser, his face growing more and more puzzled the longer he searched."

Notice how the second version conveys a lot more drama and emotion. That\u2019s what stories can do for any copy, and especially for email. Don\u2019t say \u201cthis is very interesting\u201d \u2013 you make it very interesting by telling a story about it.

Three subject line examples:

  1. sent the email TEMPLATE by mistake \u2013 and our open rates went crazy\u2026
  2. when she opened the email, she screamed\u2026
  3. She found a snake in the toilet! (and THEN\u2026)

Each of these subject lines paints a very different scenario. Each of them begged you to fill in the blanks in your imagination about what happens next. And that\u2019s exactly what you want to occur\xa0whenever you send an email. You want the subject line to induce so\xa0much curiosity, the recipient has to read the email to find out what happens next.

But keep in mind, then you have to deliver. You have to give them something that satisfies the set up in the subject line.

It\u2019s the best of all possible worlds when you tell me a true story that beautifully illustrates the point you\u2019re trying to make in the email copy. Because the next thing you\u2019re going to do is ask the reader to click through to get\u2026 \u201cThe rest of the story\u201d\u2026And to maintain your credibility you have to be telling the truth.

Take that headline about sending the email template, for example. True story. One of our best testing email open rates for a case when we sent an email with the subject line: \u201cinsert subject line here\u201d.We even got tons of replies to that email. Not something you should do on purpose, and probably would not have worked as well the second time because it was an honest mistake. But that\u2019s just a point. It was true, and it contained an element of story.

Start telling the story in the subject line, continue it in the body of the email, and have the reader click through to get the rest of the story on your landing page (or in your podcast, for instance)\u2026

Are there \u201cnew rules\u201d for copywriting? Undoubtedly. We are living in a different time now. We\u2019re going to be spending some time going into these new rules during our Copywriting Academy Live event which takes place April 8th and 9th. This is a totally live, but virtual workshop. We\u2019re going to spend these two days writing your copy together. You should register now, while the price is still just $197 per ticket \u2013 because at the end of this week (January 31) the price goes up. Get all the details by going to\xa0https://rayedwards.com/tcalive.

How To Help

Subscribe to the show in iTunes and give us a rating and review. Make sure you put your real name and website in the text of the review itself. We will definitely mention you on this show. We are also on\xa0Stitcher.com, so if you prefer Stitcher, please subscribe there.

Connect with Ray on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram

Visit Ray's community on Facebook - This is a friendly group of writers, entrepreneurs and coaches who share ideas and helpful advice.