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Many parents have felt like selling their kids to the circus or letting the neighbors take care of them for a few minutes, days, or months.  

Many employers have felt like pushing the ejector-seat button at meetings and having the \u201cbad\u201d employee launched into space. Somewhere else\u2026 anywhere but here.

Neither of those are the \u201ccorrect\u201d solution to \u201cbad\u201d behavior.

It\u2019s important to remember that the person is not their behavior. You can love a person and not like their behavior.

And that\u2019s the conversation to have - \u201cWhat you\u2019re doing right now isn\u2019t what\u2019s needed. The behavior you\u2019re showing needs to stop.\u201d 

That\u2019s so different from, \u201cwhy are you being such a brat (or the other b-word)?\u201d

Get the perspective that they\u2019re not doing this TO you. The behavior is coming out as a sign of pain and they need acknowledgment and even to be contained. At work, \u201cthis behavior isn\u2019t appropriate\u201d is an okay thing to say. 

HR Note: People are moved out of work engagements because their behavior isn\u2019t appropriate. (You can document behavior; you can\u2019t document \u201ca bad attitude.\u201d) 

And if it\u2019s you that\u2019s having an \u201coff\u201d day, take note of that too. You can still love yourself and your life and not love that you\u2019re feeling irritable because you ate the wrong thing or slept badly or have some other ache or pain.

• Change your perspective to notice that the person who is exhibiting the \u201cbad\u201d behavior isn\u2019t a bad person.  
• Find a place of compassion, recognizing that the other person might be in pain.
• Ask yourself what that person really needs at this moment.
• And remember these steps work for you when you\u2019re having an \u201coff\u201d day.

Thank you for listening to One Sharp Sword!  Be sure to also check out Wednesdays With Wayne for quick, fun, and inspirational mid-week reading.  www.WaynePernell.com/blog