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Published: Aug. 31, 2023, 2:30 p.m.

In the labyrinth of human emotion, few experiences are as universally profound and isolating as grief. Today, we welcome Colin Campbell, a filmmaker, professor, and father, whose journey through unimaginable loss offers a poignant exploration of love, community, and the transformative power of grieving together. Colin's story is not just about the pain of losing his children, Ruby and Hart, but also about finding the strength to continue, supported by the ancient wisdom of communal mourning.Colin Campbell shared the heartbreaking story of the crash that claimed the lives of his beloved children, Ruby and Hart. They were on their way to Joshua Tree when a drunk and high driver collided with their car, forever altering their lives. Ruby, a talented artist and voracious reader, and Hart, a charming and humorous young man, were both killed on impact. Colin and his wife, Gail, survived but were left to navigate the immense void left by their children\u2019s absence.In the aftermath of the tragedy, Colin found solace in the Jewish traditions embraced by his family. Although he identifies as an atheist, he was profoundly moved by the practical and communal aspects of Jewish mourning rituals. One such ritual, Shiva, involves friends and family visiting the bereaved\u2019s home for seven nights, providing support and allowing the grieving process to unfold in a shared space. "It was an amazing gift," Colin reflected, noting how these gatherings helped him and Gail process their grief by talking about Ruby and Hart and feeling the love and support of their community."Grieving in community is essential," Colin emphasized. This sentiment contrasts sharply with the common cultural expectation to grieve in isolation. Many people feel abandoned by friends and family during their darkest times, a theme Colin has encountered repeatedly in grief groups. The loneliness of grief can be overwhelming, but the Jewish practices of communal support, like Shiva and the daily recitation of the Mourner\u2019s Kaddish, offer a powerful antidote to this isolation. These rituals require the presence of a community, reinforcing the idea that we do not have to face our grief alone.Colin's exploration of grief also touches on the importance of rituals in managing the pain of loss. For him, the Jewish tradition of actively participating in the burial\u2014literally throwing the first handfuls of dirt onto the coffin\u2014was a deeply painful yet necessary act. It confronted him with the stark reality of his loss, helping to combat the powerful force of denial that often accompanies grief. "We have to feel the pain to feel the love," Colin stated, highlighting the intertwined nature of these emotions.

SPIRITUAL TAKEAWAYS

1. Communal Support in Grief: One of the most powerful aspects of Jewish mourning traditions is the emphasis on communal support. Grieving in isolation can intensify feelings of despair and loneliness, whereas grieving in the presence of loved ones can provide a sense of connection and support.
2. Embracing the Pain: Allowing oneself to fully experience the pain of loss is crucial for healing. Denying or avoiding the pain only prolongs the suffering. Rituals that confront the reality of loss, like those in Jewish tradition, can help in processing grief more effectively.
3. Transformative Power of Rituals: Rituals, whether religious or personal, can provide structure and meaning during the chaotic period of grief. They serve as touchstones that help the bereaved navigate their emotions and find a path toward healing.

Colin\u2019s journey through grief has also led him to foster a deeper sense of purpose. Alongside his wife, Gail, he has founded the Ruby and Heart Foundation, which supports initiatives like W AC, an organization that sends writers to underserved schools to read aloud to children and provide them with free books. This initiative honors Ruby and Hart\u2019s love for reading and ensures their legacy continues to inspire and support others.In sharing his story, Colin Campbell offers a beacon of hope and resilience. His willingness to lean into the pain, supported by community and tradition, provides a roadmap for others navigating the turbulent waters of grief. By embracing the love and the pain, Colin has found a way to keep Ruby and Hart\u2019s memory alive, transforming his grief into a source of strength and connection.

Please enjoy my conversation with Colin Campbell.

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