Podcasts Business Lead Through Strengths Awesomeness Without Arrogance

Awesomeness Without Arrogance

Published: May 13, 2018, 7:30 a.m.

In this episode, Lisa answers the question: How can you share your awesomeness without sounding arrogant or entitled?

Have You Downloaded Your Manager Tool For Strengths Conversations?

If you\u2019re a manager and you want to help your team members feel less awkward about speaking positively about the contributions they can make to the team, please please please, open these conversations and make them a regular part of how you operate with each other.

And since it\u2019s tough to put this into practice, we actually have a 12-week series made just for people-leaders. You\u2019ll get\xa012 weeks of conversation starters for strengths-focused 1x1s and quick team meeting topics so you can keep learning more about what puts your team members at their best.\xa0

Resources of the Episode

Awesomeness Without Arrogance

Today you\u2019ll explore a\xa0question that came up in a strengths workshop I did with a group of high\xa0potential team members who want their talents to shine, yet they don\u2019t want to seem like\xa0braggadocios jerks.\xa0Their question was,\xa0\u201cHow can you share your awesomeness without sounding arrogant or entitled?\u201d \xa0

What an important question. I hear it from all levels, and even from every cultural background I\u2019ve experienced so far.

For example, Australians will tell you about the tall poppy\xa0syndrome. This concept is about cutting down someone who is higher in stature or prominence to bring them down back to size. Of course, many Aussies are reluctant to talk about their standout areas because it has been such a cultural faux pas to try to stand out.\xa0

My Japanese clients tell me about the saying,\xa0\u201cThe nail that sticks up gets hammered down.\u201d\xa0

In Western cultures I hear things like,\xa0\u201cDon\u2019t rock the boat\u201d or\xa0\u201cDon\u2019t make waves.\u201d\xa0

Regardless of the country, most of these sayings are meant to keep you humble and remind you to not run around being an arrogant jerk. Yet, unfortunately, they also keep a lot of people\xa0from sharing their gifts with the world.

So, back to thinking of this in a self-reflective way, how do you begin to offer your personal strengths to the world while also staying humble and being perceived well? Here are three steps to becoming known for your talents without having to brag about them.

Step 1 - Know What You Want To Be Known For

First, take some time to imagine what you want to be known for. Yes, this can be knowledge, skills, or abilities. If you\u2019re thinking about natural talents, think about how you would be getting work done if it brought you energy \u2014 if you were totally in flow \u2014 and things even felt easy. Imagine the kind of work you\u2019d be doing and how you\u2019d get work done.

To help you with this, try the "More Of Inventory"\xa0where you\u2019ll see a list of phrases to spark your ideas. You\u2019ll can imagine that someone who picks \u201cgive advice\u201d and \u201cpoke the bear\u201d as the two things they\u2019d want more of \u2014 well, they would be more of a status quo busting person who wants to push the team forward and get people on the edge of discomfort \u2014 maybe even someone who loves living risk-taking mode.

And you can imagine another person who wants to \u201censure quality\u201d and \u201cwork carefully\u201d \u2014 well, they would be way more excited about a project or role all about operational effectiveness or safety or compliance.

That\u2019s why it\u2019s important to do this step first. If you don\u2019t know what you want\xa0to get known for, you\u2019ll get known for what you did well last. I\u2019ve seen way too many people become known as the quality assurance guru or the best team notetaker or the one who delivers the quarterly ops review presentation \u2014 and they\u2019re only known for it because they did it well last time.\xa0

When actually, it may have sucked the life out of them. It may have taken up all of their mental energy for days. It may have drained them and felt dreadful, but when you\u2019re a highly accountable high achiever, you\u2019ll try to knock it out of the park. Even on work you hate.\xa0

You\u2019ll use brute force to become competent, even in your weaknesses so that your performance is solid. And if you\u2019re not a complainer, no one will ever know you don\u2019t like that work. That\u2019s why you need to spend a bit of time thinking about what you\u2019d really love to be known for. In your ideal world. Then you can start aligning to that reputation over time.\xa0

Step 2 - Focus Outward

This is all about taking an outward focus. It\u2019s thinking about a business outcome your talent can serve. It\u2019s thinking about a person you can help. Since your talents will help you feel ease, energy, and enjoyment on the job, people will see the enlivened version of you while you serve another person or a team goal or business outcome.

For example, if you\u2019ve been nerding out on the peer-reviewed Journal of Applied Physics literature on the understanding of dark matter \u2014 and you happen to have the Clifton StrengthsFinder talent theme of Input \u2014 you could move toward the enlivenment scale by sharing your findings with the team rather than just reading the journals for your personal education.

You could summarize the key findings and mention a team goal that it applies to. This would be fun for someone with the Input talent and it would also help the team. They\u2019d see your awesomeness and would appreciate it.\xa0

And if you offer your talents this way, you\u2019ll often uncover where one person\u2019s trash tasks are another person\u2019s treasured tasks. That can lead you to task swapping opportunities where you can do a task-switcheroo with teammates to get more of the work you love.\xa0

You can also volunteer your talents. You may have heard my interview with Ben Fanning where he talked about finding all of the things you look forward to on your to do list or your calendar. Then he encouraged you to find the trend in the things you enjoy.

He also suggested seeking out more of them by volunteering to help a teammate in one of those areas. Or offer a Lunch and Learn to the team on something you get jazzed about. Offer data or articles on topics that would be helpful to the team. It\u2019s basically sharing things with others that would be fun for you to do anyway.\xa0

This is all about finding ways to offer up your talents as a contribution to the team \u2014 and not waiting for someone to offer you the golden-ticket job. It\u2019s more about creating small moments for yourself that put you in a state of flow or energy or enjoyment so that over time you can become known for that. And once you build a reputation for it, the offers for project work and roles and assignments (even at small task levels) will begin to match up with your strengths.

Step 3 - Talk To Your Leader About It

This is an important step, of course, because your manager has a lot of sway when it comes to the tasks and responsibilities of your role.\xa0

Here are three flavors of conversations that work well when you want to put your strengths on your leader\u2019s radar. These are great for 1x1s. Or you could tweak them for email. Put them in your own words, and you\u2019re on your way.

Flavor 1: I Want To Support A Team Or Company Goal \xa0

"I\u2019ve been thinking a lot about how I can personally support [goal], and wanted to volunteer some help around [talent or thing you want to build a reputation around]. Are you game to hear an idea?\u201d

So an example might sound like, \u201cI\u2019ve been thinking a lot about how I can personally support [our goal to increase customer retention by 15%], and wanted to volunteer some help around [our contact center coaching]. Are you game to hear an idea?\u201d

And then, once this conversation opens, you could volunteer a small or large contribution \u2014 anything from the creation of a quick cheat sheet resource, all the way through spending one day each month coaching contact center reps in your area of expertise.

Flavor\xa02: \xa0I Want To Bring My A-Game To The Company

\u201cAs you know, I\u2019ve been digging into StrengthsFinder and thinking about how we can amp up our performance. It got me thinking about what puts me in A-game mode, and one of them is [talent or thing you want to build a reputation around]. Next time you\u2019re assigning a project like that, would you consider me for it?\u201d

So an example might sound like,\xa0\u201cAs you know, I\u2019ve been digging into StrengthsFinder and thinking about how we can amp up our performance. It got me thinking about what puts me in A-game mode, and one of them is [that I\u2019m really on fire when I\u2019m pushing my limits of learning]. Next time you\u2019re assigning a project that has a steep learning curve on a short timeline, would you consider me for it?\u201d

Managers in my training sessions tell me that they\u2019d love it if they knew what kind of projects their team members want to be considered for. A simple \u201cplease consider me \u2026\u201d request increases the chances that when they\u2019re making decisions in the future, they\u2019ll think of you.

Flavor\xa03: I Will Be\xa0Applying\xa0Self-Development To A Project And Would Love Feedback

\u201cThis has been a year of big development for me. I\u2019ve been thinking a lot about how to amp up the contributions I make to the team. One talent I\u2019ve decided to consciously leverage more is my\xa0[talent or thing you want to build a reputation around]. It\u2019s different from the way I\u2019ve approached my projects in the past, so wanted to mention it to you for feedback purposes. If you see or hear comments (both good or bad) about me, I\u2019d love to hear them. I\u2019m going in thinking that it will be well received, yet it\u2019s different from how we normally do it so wanted to get your antennae up for it.\u201d

So an example might sound like, \u201cThis has been a year of big development for me. I\u2019ve been thinking a lot about how to amp up the contributions I make to the team. One talent I\u2019ve decided to consciously leverage more is my\xa0[natural ability to build an use a network]. It\u2019s different from the way I\u2019ve approached my projects in the past because we\u2019ve stayed pretty siloed on this project, so wanted to mention it to you for feedback purposes. If you see or hear comments (both good or bad) about the new collaborations, I\u2019d love to hear them. I\u2019m going in thinking that it will be well received, yet it\u2019s different from how we normally do it so wanted to get your antennae up for it.\u201d

Three steps for bringing awareness to your awesomeness without sounding braggadocios. And if you\u2019re a people manager, as many listeners are, you can see why these strengths-focused conversations are so tough. They\u2019re awkward for people. Yet if you initiate the conversations, you give them permission to unleash their talents. Ask them what puts them at their best. Ask them what their most favorite and least favorite elements of the job are. Ask them what they would love more of.\xa0

Extra Help For Managers

Remember to grab the strengths-focused 1x1 and team meeting series.\xa0You\u2019ll get 12 weeks of conversation starters for strengths-focused 1x1s and team meetings. It\u2019s super simple in format. It opens up topics like recognition, motivation, and their favorite elements of the job. Each week, it gives you one question to ask in a 1x1 and one question for the team. That way, you can focus on learning more about them rather than spending a bunch of time coming up with new strengths conversations.

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