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Years ago, at a cheap theater, a bunch of us went to see the inexplicable remake of H.G. Wells\' classic, The Time Machine. About an hour in, my pal leaned over to me and stage whispered, "I wish I had a time machine!" and I missed about the next 10 minutes of the movie because I was crying / wheezing out of laughing so hard. Anyway, if you had a time machine, you\'d probably want to use it to go back and prevent Michael Crichton\'s Timeline from existing, because hoo boy is this one a by-the-numbers cash-grab. Most of the clunkiest dialogue we\'ve ever read, a plot that more or less forgets to happen, and more authorial lectures about the badness and madness of academia than you\'d expect\\u2014or want to sit through.

Anyway, please join us for a trip through Michael Crichton\'s One Single Idea, in this little medieval-flavored mashup of Jurassic Park and WestWord, a striking dish we\'re calling ... Timeline.

Also! Mark your calendars, because I Don\'t Even Own a Television and friends are throwing a Bad Book Party at Green Apple Books on the Park! This free event will be at 7:30, Saturday, February 11, 2017, and it\'s going to be more fun than not going to it, that\'s for sure. Come out! Join us! You\'ll have the TIME of your LINE!

(Note from J. -- Yes, his name is just Jai Courtney, not Jai Courtney Smith. I have no idea why I said that. This will make sense later... in a future timeline.)