Five Nights At Freddy's: The Silver Eyes

Published: Dec. 12, 2016, 7:54 p.m.

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Your dynamic duo, J. W. Friedman and Chris Collision, take on the terrible twosome of Scott Cawthorn and Kira Breed-Wrisley in\\xa0Five Nights at Freddy\'s: The Silver Eyes. You\'ll need to hop into the Mystery Machine and load up on Scooby Snacks to solve the mystery of what the hell is going on in this novel of PG-13 horror, non-existent intrigue, and multiple trips to a diner to hang out. But what Cawthorn and Breed-Wrisley don\'t understand is that ... we\'re not locked in a pizza place / arcade featuring terrifying animatronic beasts with iron grins and red (red, not silver) eyes ... the terrifying animatronic beasts with iron grins and red (red, not silver) eyes ... are locked in here with US. (SPOILER: what\'s going on in this novel of PG-13 horror, non-existent intrigue, and multiple trips to the diner to hang out is, mostly, a thesaurus-humping answer to the eternal question: "What if\\xa0Frankenstein, but stupid?"...)

Also! We announce the winners of the NaNoWriMo Bad Writing Contest! We reference\\xa0interviews! We look at pictures of dogs on air! J. trolls Clsn by recommending something! Plus all the gamified hijinx you expect \\u2014 and deserve! It\'s a pre-holiday present that we hope you\'ll enjoy.

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Recommendations:

  • Neal Stephenson,\\xa0Seveneves
  • Jean Rhys,\\xa0Wide Sargasso Sea

Music:

  • "Freddy\'s Dead" by\\xa0Fishbone
  • "Fred\'s Mood"\\xa0by\\xa0Milt Jackson
  • "Mr. Roboto" by Styx
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