Born Again
I am sitting here in my big, manly, comfortable, black leather poppa chair in my living room, after having a born again experience earlier today. I remember when I was born the first time, it was such a surprise that my parents said I didn't talk for about a year and a half. \n\tAs I explained in my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot, the Pimple People wouldn't have liked being born when I was born the first time. We had crew cuts in those days. We looked like a bunch of tennis balls walking around. There was no such thing as fluorescent Mohawk orange hair, giant Goth tattoos, and enough piercings that the combined metal could build a multi engine airplane. \n\tWe had the Bomb, the hula hoop, Elvis, the Beatles, The Stones, protests, walking on the moon, Woodstock and Watergate. We learned how to duck and cover to put our school desks between us and a thermonuclear bomb. Guys like Walter Cronkheit explained on black and white TV with rabbit ears on top, about how things we take for granted like voting work differently in places like Russia. \n\tWalter told us basically that voting is an option in Russia, but if you do choose to vote, you go into the voting booth, pull the curtain, and when you open it again you're in Siberia.