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Published: March 5, 2019, 7:45 a.m.

A review \n\n

This was the best worst thing we\u2019ve ever seen. I\u2019m sorry. You\u2019re welcome?

\n\n Space tricks \n\n

Leaving whole rocket stages to just kinda be in orbit and hit stuff. Talking in space by providing your own atmosphere thanks to your incredible, super lung capacity. Also, how that doesn\u2019t work and Superman needs to be a close talker and hold conversations by vibrating his mouth directly on someone else\u2019s spacesuit helmet.

\n\n Superman bodily materials \n\n

The hair that can hold at least a half ton. How does Superman cut his hair? Introducing weird gnarly alternate Superman with really long hair and uncut fingernails. Donating Superman\u2019s bits to materials science. Making things out of hair. Totally realistic space elevator musings. Superman as a launch platform. Dissecting the Man of Steel for fun and profit. Using Superman for \u201cfree energy\u201d (Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal).

\n\n Super-denuclearization \n\n

Superman\u2019s built-in orbital mechanics skills. The tiny bit of nothing that would be all of 1987\u2019s nuclear world arsenal against the power of the sun. The relative tiny-ness of the only nuclear weapons ever used in war. Proposals for nuclear de-proliferation. Going Dr Manhattan on the problem.

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A bunch of stuff oh god this movie was silly

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Nuclear Man\u2019s totally fab nails. The golden crotch-trim on his super suit. Plugging a volcano. Superman\u2019s \u201cbrick vision.\u201d Slowing things down, because the moon has \u201cless gravity.\u201d It\u2019s obvious, really. The actual disasters that await us if Superman pushed the Moon away.

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1. \n\t\t\t\tNukemap: Nuclear Secrecy\n\t\t\t
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2. \n\t\t\t\tSuperman IV deleted scene "Nuclear Man 1": YouTube\n\t\t\t
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3. \n\t\t\t\tJolene @ FoL: Future of Life\n\t\t\t
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