Housewarming by Julie Hoverson (19 Nocturne Boulevard reissue of the week)
In classic 1940s Hollywood, aspiring screenwriter Fiona Cross discovers the pitfalls of writing remakes - including, perhaps, romance with an undying legend of the silver screen.
Written and Produced by Julie Hoverson
Cast List
Fiona Cross - E. Vickery
Victor Malacard - Cole Hornaday
George - Jerry Bennett
Margie - Kristina Yuen
Andy - Michael Faigenblum
Additional Voices - Rhea Lutton, Julie Hoverson,\xa0 Reynaud LeBoeuf
Music:\xa0 Gabriel Garcea (gagamusic.eu) (also available on Jamendo)
19 Nocturne Theme:\xa0 Kevin MacLeod (Incompetech.com)
Editing and Sound: \xa0 Julie Hoverson
Sound effects found on Soundsnap.com
Recorded with the assistance of Ryan Hirst of Neohoodoo Studio
Cover Photos:\xa0 (courtesy of Stock Xchange.com)
"What kind of a place is it?\xa0
Why, it's a movie studio office - can't you tell? Where else would you find... a screenwriter?"
_______________________________________________
\xa0
\xa0
HOUSEWARMING
Cast: \xa0
[opening credits/Olivia]
Fiona Cross, screenwriter \xa0
George Webber, producer \xa0
Victor Malacard, actor/director \xa0
Margie, best friend \xa0
Mason, butler \xa0
Andy, a Messenger \xa0
Instructor
voice, on P.A.
Landlady
\xa0
OLIVIA Did you have any trouble finding it? What \xa0do you mean, what kind of a place is it? \xa0Why, it's a film producer's office, can't \xa0you tell?
\xa0
SCENE 1
MUSIC
SOUND EFFICIENT TYPING, PHONES IN THE BACKGROUND
GEORGE The bad news is -it's really very good.
FIONA [excited] Wonderful! [waitaminute] That's \xa0the bad news?
GEORGE Yup. Because we can't use it.
SOUND SHEAF OF PAPERS TOSSED ONTO TABLE.
FIONA What? But ...but Mr. Webber, you said it \xa0was
GEORGE Practically brilliant. I'll even read your \xa0next one, and I don't say that often. \xa0[pauses, thinks] Ever. But, Miss Cross... \xa0you should know by now that writing remakes \xa0is a complete waste of time. There's all \xa0sorts of issues. We don't want to get sued.
FIONA But The House on the Peak was made-
GEORGE Twenty-odd years ago. It's still dicey. \xa0Whoever owns it could sue us, and after that \xa0fiasco at Champion pictures last year... \xa0We're taking no chances. We're not Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, you know.
FIONA If ... what if I could make an arrangement \xa0with the owner? Would you still be \xa0interested?
GEORGE [cagey] Well, I said it was good, but I \xa0never actually said I was interested. \xa0[beat] Come back when you've got a \xa0signature.
MUSIC BRIDGE
\xa0
SCENE 2
SOUND TINNY PHONOGRAPH MUSIC
INSTRUCTOR [off mike throughout] And lift. One. Two.
FIONA [puffing slightly throughout] All that \xa0work!
MARGIE [puffing slightly throughout] Goodness, \xa0Fiona, didn't anyone ever tell you never \xa0adapt?
INSTRUCTOR ...five and six. Arms up!
FIONA I guess I figured the studio would handle \xa0all that.
MARGIE [teasing] Did you just drop off the turnip \xa0truck -Oh, sorry, the porkchop truck.
INSTRUCTOR ...seven and eight -keep them up!
FIONA [teasing back] You just watch it, we \xa0Piggottsville girls are tough! [puffs a \xa0bit] Now I just have to get up the nerve.
MARGIE [sarcastic] Nerve? YOU? I can't imagine!
INSTRUCTOR [off] I hear someone talking!
FIONA [whispered] Enough nerve to go and talk to \xa0Victor Malacard.
MUSIC BRIDGE
\xa0
SCENE 3
SOUND CAR DRIVES AWAY. WOODSY NOISES FOOTSTEPS ON GRAVEL.
FIONA OK, Fee. Let's see what you've got. Scene: \xa0Heroine walks up to big spooky house. She \xa0is nervous. Almost trembling -wait, no \xa0scratch that. She is resolved, plucky. \xa0Much better.
SOUND CREAK OF WOOD, BIRD CALL
FIONA [slightly spooked] Or not. Come on, Fee. \xa0You can DO this. Plucky heroine, for \xa0goodness sake. Pluck up.
SOUND FOOTSTEPS ON GRAVEL.
FIONA What a scene. Artfully disheveled garden. \xa0Overgrown and dried out fountain. Huge \xa0mansion in exactly the proper state of \xa0dilapidation. [tries to laugh] I should be \xa0taking notes.
SOUND FOOTSTEPS ON WOOD STAIRS
FIONA [practicing] Mr. Malacard, I am such a big \xa0fan of--No, I'm sure he hears THAT all \xa0the-
SOUND FOOTSTEPS SLOW DOWN, THEN STOP.
FIONA [firm] Mr. Malacard. I have a proposition \xa0for--Oh pooh! [ingratiating] Mr. \xa0Malacard. How wonderful to finally meet-
SOUND DOOR CREAKS OPEN.
FIONA [gasp]
MASON [spooky and unwelcoming] May I help you?
FIONA [muttered] I bet you get a lot of these \xa0roles.
MASON Hmm?
FIONA Sorry. Nothing. I would like to speak to \xa0Mr. Malacard.
MASON No.
SOUND DOOR SLAMS SHUT.
FIONA What? Aren't you supposed to say something \xa0like [aping his voice] "I'm afraid Mr. \xa0Malacard... isn't himself today." [normal \xa0voice] and give me a chance to argue with \xa0you? [pause] Huh?
SOUND TWO FOOTSTEPS ON WOOD, THEN SHE SITS ON THE \xa0STAIR WITH A CREAK.
FIONA [calling over her shoulder] Very well, \xa0then. I'm not leaving. I'll just sit here \xa0until the spiderwebs grow up over me and I \xa0become part of the set!
SOUND BIRDS.
FIONA [muttered] Or at least until I get up the \xa0nerve to walk back to town. [sigh] Well, \xa0it's kind of nice here, anyway. Peaceful. \xa0[takes a couple of deep breaths]
SOUND FOOTSTEPS ON GRAVEL APPROACH
VICTOR [coming on mike] Can I help you?
FIONA What? Oh! [noises, as she stands] Mr. \xa0Mal--Wait. You can't be--I'm confused.
VICTOR [chuckles] I look just like him, don't I? \xa0I'm Victor Malacard the lesser. Call me \xa0Vic.
FIONA Fiona Cross. I'm so pleased! I'm a writer, \xa0you see, and-15\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0 VICTOR [cold] So sorry. Father doesn't give \xa0interviews.
FIONA Oh, no -I'm a screenwriter. I wrote a \xa0wonderful script-
VICTOR [perturbed] He doesn't act any more, \xa0either.
FIONA Does he let people finish their sentences?
VICTOR [chuckling in spite of himself] All right. \xa0Just point to me when it's my cue.
FIONA [deep breath] I wrote a new version of The \xa0House on the Peak, your father's \xa0masterpiece, and I would very much like to \xa0get it produced-
FIONA --because I spent a lot of time on it, and \xa0I know he would be flattered if he could \xa0only read it, because, well, the original \xa0was brilliant, but most people DO like sound \xa0nowadays, and this would bring his work back \xa0for more people to see, and if I could just \xa0get his permission, I have a studio which is \xa0VERY interested.
VICTOR [pause] My turn? Then... all right.
FIONA All right then, what?
VICTOR Let me read it. I'll see if it's all you \xa0say it is.
FIONA But your father-
VICTOR Is old and very ill -one reason I cannot \xa0let anyone into the house. I have all the \xa0authority necessary. I assume you brought your script?
FIONA Oh, yes!
SOUND SNAPS OPEN SHOULDERBAG, PULLS OUT SHEAF OF \xa0PAPERS.
FIONA Really, I'm a much better writer than I must \xa0sound like, from the way I talk. I just get \xa0really-
SOUND A COUPLE OF PAGES FLIP
VICTOR Come back in a couple of days. Saturday.
FIONA Oh, no! I've heard that one before. It's \xa0not so late, I'll wait while you read it. \xa0[BEAT] Besides, I need to borrow your phone \xa0to call a cab.
VICTOR [cold] I'm afraid you're doomed to \xa0disappointment on many levels, Miss Cross. \xa0I refuse to read on demand, and you cannot \xa0come in.
FIONA But it's miles to the nearest-
VICTOR You'd better start walking. I will see you \xa0on Saturday.
MUSIC TIME PASSES
\xa0
SCENE 4
SOUND DOOR OPENS. CRACKLE OF WAXED PAPER.
VICTOR [warning] I am not going to--[surprised] \xa0What is that?
FIONA Lunch. You're not going to what?
VICTOR You brought -
FIONA If there's one thing that Hollywood taught \xa0me, it's come prepared for a siege. You're \xa0lucky I didn't have time to make pastrami \xa0and onion sandwiches, though they work a \xa0whole lot better in an office.
VICTOR Work... better?
FIONA Nothing like the chance you might stink up \xa0someone's office to motivate them to give \xa0you five minutes.
VICTOR [chuckles]
FIONA Want some?
VICTOR What? Oh, no -I've eaten.
FIONA [snort] Hospital food, I bet -all bland and \xa0toothless. It's always like that when \xa0someone in the house is sick.
VICTOR No, [sighs, then, resigned] no -if there's \xa0one thing Mason makes certain of, it's that \xa0the food is good.
FIONA That your butler? Or is he some kind of \xa0nurse?
VICTOR Some kind... um, something.
FIONA [bright, teasing] So, did you read it yet?
VICTOR There's hardly been time-
FIONA [Sweetly] Then why waste it talking to me?
VICTOR [sad] It's not something I get to do very \xa0often. Talking. To someone.
FIONA Read the script, and I promise I'll come \xa0back and talk up a storm.
SOUND DISTANT THUNDER
VICTOR [sigh, pause] Speaking of storms, it looks \xa0like rain. If you need to walk back to \xa0town, you'd best get started.
FIONA I'm a farm girl. We're built tough. And \xa0reasonably waterproof.
VICTOR [chuckle ruefully]
SOUND DOOR SHUTS.
MUSIC TIME PASSES
\xa0
SCENE 5
SOUND CRICKETS, NIGHT SOUNDS, RAIN [a beat] DOOR \xa0OPENS
VICTOR Tsk. Do you know what time it is?
FIONA Judging from the position of the stars, what \xa0little I can see of them -my watch says \xa0about 9.
VICTOR [a beat, then] I read it.
FIONA [gasps, then tight] And?
VICTOR It's brilliant.
FIONA Really?
VICTOR Here's your release. My lawyer can validate \xa0it in the morning.
FIONA Oh! I could kiss you [SHE DOES]
VICTOR [shaken] I... Miss Cross...!
FIONA Fiona. You know, you really do look like \xa0your father. You're lucky. He was really \xa0something, back in the day. It's those \xa0eyes.
VICTOR Yes, I... [with emphasis] He...
SOUND CAR APPROACHES, STOPS.
VICTOR What? Who the devil--?
FIONA My cab. I arranged for it to pick me up at 9. Siege or not, I'm not sleeping on \xa0anyone's doorstep but my own. Thanks again!
SOUND RUNNING FOOTSTEPS ON GRAVEL.
FIONA [off] ...and if you're ever in town...!
VICTOR [yelling slightly] Of course...!
SOUND CAR DOOR SLAMS
SOUND HOUSE DOOR SQUEAKS OPEN.
VICTOR [sadly to self] ...not.
SOUND SLOW FOOTSTEPS ACROSS THE PORCH.
MUSIC
\xa0
SCENE 6
SOUND TENNIS, CROWD, IN BACKGROUND THROUGHOUT.
MARGIE So, they loved it. Did you write yourself a \xa0part?
FIONA What?
MARGIE Oh, come on-don't tell me you only aspire \xa0to be the pen and not the face?
FIONA I just enjoy writing. I'm in complete \xa0control of the world. Everyone in my story \xa0has to listen to me and do what I say.
MARGIE But acting is where the fame is.
FIONA Who wants fame?
VOICE ON P.A. [filter] Number 33, Court 1 is open.
MARGIE Are we getting close?
SOUND RUSTLE OF PAPER
FIONA Should be next.
MARGIE So you're in it for the money?
FIONA No... I guess... I'm in it to ... to see it \xa0happen.
MARGIE [pause] Are you explaining or should I order \xa0another drink?
FIONA I want to see things from my imagination up \xa0there on the screen. I want to create \xa0something that people will remember.
MARGIE And you don't want to be famous or rich? \xa0You're nuts.
FIONA Rich would be OK, but famous just means you \xa0never get away. That must be why Mr. \xa0Malacard lives out in the country -to get \xa0away from the craziness.
MARGIE Craziness? In Hollywood? Perish the \xa0thought! [pause] So, can I have your part?
FIONA [laughs] There aren't really any good \xa0female roles in the House on the Peak.
MARGIE Will I sound hopelessly undereducated if I \xa0admit I've never actually seen this fabulous \xa0item?
FIONA You never--? Where did you grow up, a cave? \xa0I mean even in Piggottsville, it showed for \xa0three whole nights -and then each year near \xa0Halloween. I think the theater proprietress musta had a thing for Malacard.
MARGIE Spare me the down home gossip and tell me \xa0about this masterpiece.
FIONA Well, it's sort of modeled on this story by \xa0Edgar Allen Poe-
MARGIE Didja have to get permission from him, too?
FIONA Shush. He's been dead for -I dunno, a \xa0century? Besides, it's not really the same \xa0idea, just the tone. See, there's this guy \xa0who goes home after his father's death, to \xa0see his twin brother who he hasn't seen in \xa0years-
MARGIE Which one was your mysterious actor?
FIONA Oh, Victor Malacard played both brothers. \xa0It was groundbreaking at the time -using \xa0cutaways and doubles-
MARGIE Is this important?
FIONA [chuckles] I guess not. But the brother \xa0who'd been away was a man of the world, very \xa0caught up in business, and the one who \xa0stayed was a strange lonely man who talked \xa0to himself-
MARGIE [sarcastic] In a silent film, no less.
FIONA [agreeing] Malacard was a genius. They've \xa0got their eye on this new fellow -he was in \xa0that film, "Laura"-
MARGIE Stick to the point!
FIONA Tsk. So it turns out the house is alive, \xa0and must have a family member in residence \xa0or it will die. But the one who stayed \xa0would live forever, barring falling out of a \xa0window, which is what'd happened to their \xa0father.
MARGIE Foul play?
FIONA You got it -turns out one of the sons had \xa0killed dear old dad to take his place as \xa0head of the family, and live forever.
MARGIE Was it the creepy one?
VOICE ON P.A. [filter] Number 34, court 3 is open.
SOUND GLASS PUT DOWN, BAGS SNATCHED UP
FIONA I'll tell you whodunnit... but only if you \xa0beat me.
MUSIC
\xa0
SCENE 7
SOUND CAR DOOR SLAMS. FEET ON GRAVEL. FEET SLOW DOWN.
FIONA Oh. Hullo!
SOUND CAB DRIVES AWAY
VICTOR I heard you coming.
FIONA Oh, and here I thought old Igor your butler \xa0was a warlock or something.
VICTOR Mason is a lot of things, but--[pause] \xa0What's that? More scripts?
FIONA No, silly. It's a picnic.
VICTOR A what--?
FIONA Pic. Nic. Food to eat outside so as not to \xa0bother those inside whom shall not be named.
VICTOR But, you-
FIONA I promised I would talk up a storm, didn't \xa0I? If Hollywood taught me one thing, it's \xa0to keep my promises.
VICTOR Well. [bemused, but pleased] Very well, \xa0then.
SOUND FOOTSTEPS ON GRAVEL. DOOR OPENS [OFF].
MASON [off] Sir?
VICTOR [calling] Don't worry, I'll stay where you \xa0can see me.
MASON [off] Very good, sir.
FIONA Wow, he sure keeps you on a short leash.
VICTOR [deep with meaning] So true.
FIONA Well, this looks good -and see, there's a \xa0window right there where your keeper can \xa0peep out and make sure nothing improper \xa0happens.
SOUND BLANKET SPREAD, THINGS BEING TAKEN OUT OF \xa0PICNIC BASKET
VICTOR [deep sigh]
FIONA [sincere] I do understand. My gramma raised \xa0me -she was from the old country, very wild \xa0Irish, and hospitals would never, never do. \xa0So when she took ill at the end, I had to \xa0look after her. And the farm. Just the two \xa0of us, right up til she passed.
VICTOR So being tired of the sticks, you came right \xa0out to Hollywood, no training wheels or \xa0anything?
FIONA Oh, I figure I'll go back someday -not to \xa0the farm, but to the country. Being down \xa0here -well, down there -is tough -there \xa0are so many people everywhere.
VICTOR Better than being lonely-
FIONA You can be lonely in a crowd just as easy as \xa0on a farm, and it's much noisier. The \xa0crowd, I mean.
VICTOR More material for your writing.
FIONA I don't agree. I figure growing up pretty \xa0much alone is why I have such a good \xa0imagination. Keeping myself occupied, \xa0making up folks to talk to.
VICTOR [moving in romantically] And you enjoyed my \xa0--my father's film so much that you decided \xa0to put words to it?
FIONA [slightly breathless] I... I didn't so much \xa0write them as sort of translate what he \xa0already said.
VICTOR [deep and husky] And very well too.
FIONA [gasp, deeply important] Before this goes \xa0any further, I have to say something.
VICTOR [snapping out of it] I--we--of course, we \xa0shouldn't-
FIONA Since the studio is picking up the cost of \xa0lunch, we have to talk business. I hope you \xa0don't mind.
VICTOR [vastly relieved, deep breath] Of course. \xa0Mm, that smells good. No pastrami and \xa0onions?
FIONA [laughing] No. [serious] See, the studio \xa0wants to know if we can add a girl -a \xa0romance -to the story. Seems everything \xa0just has to have a love interest these days.
VICTOR [sharp] A what?
FIONA And a happy ending. They don't want-
VICTOR No! Under no circumstances! They're not \xa0going to ruin my--[through gritted teeth] \xa0my... father's vision -with sentimental \xa0claptrap.
FIONA [teasing] Really? Sentimental claptrap is \xa0all the rage nowadays. [change of tone, \xa0satisfied] Good. That's what I thought, \xa0but they won't listen to me. Business over.
VICTOR But you-
FIONA Oh, don't get me wrong, I like romance as \xa0much as the next girl, but it would weaken \xa0the drama. Try a taste of this.
VICTOR Um, yes. [takes a bite] That's -mmm, \xa0that's delicious. The drama, you say? Have \xa0you been writing for very long?
FIONA This is my first script. That I've \xa0completed, anyway. I've got lots of ideas, \xa0but this one just sort of made me finish it. \xa0It's a bit of an obsession, I guess.
VICTOR You should write more. It was very good. \xa0[pause, then throaty] Maybe... romance... \xa0next time.
FIONA [oblivious] Maybe. I guess it's easier to \xa0write what you know, though.
VICTOR [still making his move] Really? No romance \xa0on the horizon, no beau back home on the \xa0farm?
FIONA [reacting, almost breathless] No -no one. \xa0I've ... never... not really, anyway... Oh. \xa0[long indrawn breath, then a teasing \xa0whisper] Your butler's watching us.
VICTOR [breaks away] Blast! I can't even--! \xa0[muttered growl] Look at him. [heavy sigh, \xa0then businesslike] This has been very \xa0pleasant, Miss Cross, but I must go-
SOUND GETS UP, FOOTSTEPS ON GRAVEL, MOVING QUICKLY
FIONA Hmph?
SOUND BITING A CARROT
MUSIC
\xa0
SCENE 8
SOUND BUSY LUNCH COUNTER
MARGIE So do you make a habit of scaring off men?
FIONA Well -there was this boy back at Jefferson \xa0junior high ... No, I'm teasing. I've \xa0never had much of a chance to try -guess \xa0I'm just a natural.
MARGIE And he was circling in for the kill, ready \xa0to land a knockout, when-
FIONA The ref appeared and he threw in the towel. \xa0You don't usually think of grown men as \xa0needing a chaperone.
MARGIE Maybe he's old fashioned and is trying to \xa0look out for your reputation or something.
FIONA Old fashioned I would buy. He's got this \xa0courtly way about him...just like his \xa0father, at least the way he was on the \xa0screen. This sort of graceful way of moving \xa0that expresses so much.
MARGIE And what was he expressing just before the \xa0bell rang to call the match?
FIONA Well... [blushing] He wasn't afraid -I can \xa0say that for sure.
MUSIC
\xa0
SCENE 9
SOUND CAR DRIVES AWAY, FEET ON GRAVEL
VICTOR You found your way back?
FIONA The picnic was to thank you. Now I'm \xa0buttering you up in case I want to remake \xa0another one of your father's films.
VICTOR So what's in the bag this time? Dare I \xa0guess?
FIONA No, silly. It's a surprise. I figure, not \xa0leaving the house much, you don't get to \xa0have a lot of fun.
VICTOR My... father-
FIONA Exactly. So, I figured I'd bring the some \xa0to you.
VICTOR Fun?
FIONA I remembered you had a swimming pool.
VICTOR Pool? But--But there's no water-
FIONA And swimsuits don't clank.
SOUND CLANK OF SOMETHING METAL IN BAG
VICTOR Then, what--?
FIONA We-e-ell, can we go look at the pool?
VICTOR Uh--yes?
SOUND FEET ON GRASS
FIONA I hope you don't mind my coming up here like \xa0this. I'm just so exuberant. Or is that \xa0the right word?
VICTOR Well, you sound exuberant to me.
FIONA Aha, the pool. Oh, good, it's nice and \xa0clean.
VICTOR Mason sees to the grounds as well as the \xa0house.
FIONA So, here.
SOUND CLANK AS BAG IS SET DOWN, UNTYING OF KNOT
VICTOR I--I'm intrigued. What do you have there?
FIONA Keep in mind, I'm kind of unsophisticated, \xa0here. Another girl might have brought \xa0champagne or something. I hope this isn't \xa0too disappointing.
SOUND METAL CLANK
VICTOR I can't even tell what those are -I see \xa0metals and wheels, and-
FIONA Silly, it's roller skates!
MUSIC
\xa0
SCENE 10
MARGIE Roller skates? You had a chance to romance \xa0a bigwig, and you took him roller skates?
FIONA The pool was perfect -I couldn't resist.
MARGIE And the two of you rolled around the bottom \xa0of the pool like children?
FIONA More or less. Well, mostly me. He was a \xa0bit too dignified to give it a fair shake.
MARGIE But you didn't roll around like grownups?
FIONA What?
MARGIE Nothing.
MUSIC
\xa0
SCENE 11
SOUND CAR DRIVES AWAY, FEET ON GRAVEL
FIONA Hello? [beat, then chuckles] Maybe he \xa0didn't see me coming, for once?
SOUND FOOTSTEPS IN LEAVES
FIONA Hello? How tragic. A perfectly good cab \xa0ride wasted. [worried] Maybe his father's \xa0not doing well.
SOUND DOOR OPENS
MASON Miss?
FIONA Oh, gosh -sorry! I guess I kind of \xa0expected Vic to be around somewhere. He \xa0usually is.
MASON He's busy. Inside. [ominous] Would you \xa0like to come in?
FIONA Oh, Vic said it's-
MASON It's no problem. Really.
FIONA Sure. Thanks a lot.
SOUND FOOTSTEPS ON GRAVEL
FIONA I can always, go, you know. I don't want to \xa0be a bother.
MASON No bother. You're quite welcome here.
SOUND FOOTSTEPS SLOW A BIT ON THE WOODEN STAIRS
FIONA It'll be interesting to see inside.
VICTOR [distant] Fiona? Is that you?
SOUND RUNNING FEET APPROACH
VICTOR [angry, worried] What's going on? Mason? \xa0[beat] Fiona?
FIONA Just looking for you. Mason said you might \xa0be inside.
VICTOR [angry hiss] Inside? Get out of here, \xa0Fiona. Just go. We'll be talking about \xa0this, Mason.
SOUND FOOTSTEPS DOWN STAIRS INTO GRAVEL
FIONA [puzzled] Victor?
VICTOR [whispered] I don't want you going in and... \xa0catching anything. Understand?
FIONA All right. Um, sorry?
VICTOR [cold] Goodbye. [up] Mason!
MUSIC
\xa0
SCENE 12
GEORGE [very serious] Thank you for coming in, Miss \xa0Cross. We have a bit of a problem.
FIONA You couldn't get that actor, Price?
GEORGE More serious than that. [heavy pause] \xa0Mr. Malacard.
FIONA What happened? Is Vic's dad OK?
GEORGE Sorry, I meant the son. He rang up \xa0yesterday and said, well... said you've been \xa0pestering him.
FIONA [shocked] ...pestering?
GEORGE Yes. He said he'll pull the permission for \xa0the film if you bother him again.
FIONA [nearly in tears] B-but... I--He never \xa0said-
GEORGE [fatherly] Just lay off, at least until the \xa0film is finished. Once it's in \xa0distribution, you can pester him all you \xa0want.
FIONA Oh! [sobbing]
SOUND CHAIR SCRAPE, RUNNING FOOTSTEPS, DOOR BANGS \xa0OPEN.
MUSIC
\xa0
SCENE 13
SOUND COCKTAIL LOUNGE, MANY ROWDY PEOPLE IN \xa0BACKGROUND
FIONA [very down] Pestering. That's what he \xa0said. Apparently. Vic couldn't even tell \xa0me to my face, [breaking down into tears] he \xa0had to send it through-
MARGIE There, there. [calls] Waiter! Bring \xa0another one. [half whispered] A double.
FIONA No. I really shouldn't. [moping again] I \xa0guess I deserve it -he didn't say I could \xa0come back, but... The picnic was NICE. \xa0Everything was nice. He was nice. Real \xa0nice. I thought.
MARGIE They all seem nice -say, you didn't let him \xa0... have his wicked way with you, didja?
FIONA What? No! [melting] I mean, he almost \xa0kissed me at the picnic, but the butler was \xa0watching.
MARGIE That's it, then. The butler did it. \xa0Probably threatened to quit or something. \xa0Good help is a lot harder to find in this \xa0town than pretty girls. [lecturing] Most \xa0servants are just actors waiting to be \xa0discovered -they're just not very good, or \xa0they'd be able to act like servants.
FIONA [almost a laugh] Hmph.
MARGIE That's better. What you need is a night at \xa0a dance hall -meet some nice guys, wear \xa0yourself out, then you can sleep. I \xa0promise, all you'll be worrying about in the \xa0morning is your bunions.
MUSIC
\xa0
SCENE 14
SOUND PERSISTENT CITY NIGHT NOISES.
SOUND PHONE RINGS, OFF [PAUSE] THEN POUNDING ON A \xa0DOOR
FIONA [waking] Yes? Mm-what?
LANDLADY [very annoyed] Phone for you.
MUSIC
\xa0
SCENE 15
SOUND CAB PULLS UP, DOOR SLAMS, RUNNING FEET ON \xa0GRAVEL
FIONA [panting]
SOUND FEET RUN UP WOOD STAIRS, POUNDING ON DOOR
FIONA Hello? Hello?
SOUND DOOR SWINGS OPEN
MASON [very calm] Oh, good. Come in.
FIONA Mason? What happened? You said it was an \xa0emergency?
SOUND FOOTSTEPS, DOOR CLOSES, FOOTSTEPS CONTINUE \xa0UNDER
MASON This way, miss.
FIONA [getting more panicky] But, is Vic hurt? \xa0Did his father...? What could he --what \xa0could he want me here for?
MASON Through here.
SOUND DOOR OPENS
MASON The master will be right in, Miss.
SOUND DOOR SLAMS SHUT.
FIONA [gasp, then yelling] You could at least \xa0turn on a light! [to herself] Which \xa0master? Maybe I'll finally-
SOUND DOOR OPENS
MASON [off] Just through here, sir.
SOUND RELUCTANT FOOTSTEPS
MASON [off, condescending] I think this will help \xa0with your --mood, sir.
VICTOR [coming on] I can't think of anything worth \xa0getting me up in the middle of the--Fiona? \xa0[truly upset]
MASON [off, condescending] Now everything will be \xa0better.
FIONA Oh, Vic, I shouldn't have come. I'm so \xa0sorry! Please don't-
VICTOR Oh, no! No!
FIONA But Mason called me. He said-
VICTOR Mason! That filthy--!!
SOUND DOOR SLAM CUTS HIM OFF
FIONA What is it?
VICTOR We must get you out of here!
SOUND RUNNING FEET, POUNDING ON WINDOWS, TRYING TO \xa0GET THEM TO OPEN
FIONA I don't understand, Vic?
VICTOR Blast it Fiona, help me.
FIONA No. I want to know what's going on.
VICTOR Is this one of those things Hollywood taught \xa0you? Take a bad situation and make it \xa0worse?
FIONA No. Oh, here [grunt as she helps try and \xa0push] I wasn't going to ... to not help. \xa0I'm just confused.
VICTOR [grunt, then angry noise] No use, they're \xa0sealed.
FIONA They are glass. There must be a chair or \xa0something-
VICTOR It's never that easy -trust me. This way. \xa0Come on.
SOUND RUNNING FEET, SLAM AGAINST CLOSED DOOR
BOTH are getting BREATHLESS
FIONA Locked!
VICTOR Maybe down here!
SOUND MORE RUNNING FOOTSTEPS
FIONA Don't you know your own house?
VICTOR [harsh laugh] Don't slow down.
SOUND RUNNING, SCRAMBLE, RATTLE OF LOCKED DOOR
FIONA Victor, wait!
VICTOR No! I will NOT let him get you!
SOUND POUNDING ON DOOR, BUT SLOWER
VICTOR [sobs] I won't let IT!
FIONA Victor. Breathe, Victor!
VICTOR I'm so sorry, Fiona. I don't understand why \xa0it brought you here.
FIONA It? Oh! [dawning] Um, I guess everyone \xa0agreed the story needed a bit of romance.
VICTOR What?
FIONA Your house. It's just like the film -or \xa0close to it -isn't it?
VICTOR How could you think--How could you know?
FIONA I told you I have a good imagination.
VICTOR But you-
FIONA And you're the one and only Victor Malacard.
VICTOR You're mad! I would have to be-
FIONA Almost 60. I looked it up. And you don't \xa0look a day over 35. Coincidentally, the age \xa0you were when you went into seclusion. You \xa0look like him, move like him -even the way \xa0your lips move when you talk -not even \xa0father and son can be THAT much alike.
VICTOR It's... the house.
FIONA And Mason?
VICTOR Mason's not a... person. Just part of it. \xa0The house. He... speaks for it.
FIONA And watches over you.
VICTOR Keeps me prisoner, you mean. [sadly] And \xa0now, you too. Fiona, I am so dreadfully-
FIONA Shh. [calling] Mason? I want to talk to \xa0you -whatever you are.
MASON [deep, on filter] Yes miss?
VICTOR [yelling] You let her go, you wretch!
FIONA Shh. Victor. It'll be fine.
VICTOR No...!
FIONA Yes. [SOUND -brief kiss] If there's one \xa0thing I learned in Hollywood, it's there's \xa0always room for negotiation. [calling, \xa0sweetly] Mason?
MUSIC, fades into-
\xa0
SCENE 15
MUSIC 1960S BUBBLEGUM POP ON A TINNY RADIO, \xa0DISTANT, WITH BIRDS AND OUTDOOR NOISES. \xa0
SOUND MOTORCYCLE APPROACHES, STOPS
FIONA [coming on] Ah! Over here, Bobby! Oh! I \xa0was expecting-
ANDY Sorry! I'm Andy -Bobby retired.
FIONA [chuckles] It's so hard to keep track. \xa0Well, then, Andy. Do you have my packages?
SOUND LOADING UP WITH PACKAGES AS HE SPEAKS
ANDY Yup, packages from Woolworth's and Mays, a \xa0big bundle of magazines, and here's one from \xa0the studio -a film canister -gee do you \xa0have your own theater? That's way out \xa0there, man, I mean ma'am.
FIONA [chuckles] Just leave everything on the \xa0porch. The butler will see that it all gets \xa0inside in one piece. And here's my latest \xa0screenplay -hardly a fair trade, but an \xa0easier trip, eh? Get it to George -no, \xa0wait... I mean Harold, don't I? Harold \xa0Mills is in production these days, right?
SOUND SCRIPT CHANGES HANDS
ANDY Umm... [working up to say something] So \xa0you're Fiona Cross Malacard? The one who \xa0wrote Trapped by Love? That was a groovy \xa0flick, even if it is kind of ancient.
FIONA Well, thank you, Andy. [chuckles] I guess.
ANDY But you don't look--I mean, you're really \xa0much--oh, criminee. I mean to say-
FIONA You're trying not to say I must be older \xa0than I look?
ANDY Uh-huh.
FIONA I'll take the compliment. I put it down to \xa0clean country air, good healthy food...
VICTOR [way off] Fiona? Was that the deliveries?
FIONA ...and a wonderful husband.
ANDY Having servants don't hurt neither, eh?
FIONA [ironic] No -no, it don't.
MUSIC TO END
\xa0