19 Nocturne Boulevard reissue of the week: GHOST OF A CHANCE
A girl living in a haunted house must find a way to protect her way of life..
Written and produced by Julie Hoverson
Cast List
Eden - Jaiden Douwes
Henry - Danar Hoverson
Callandra - Julie Hoverson
Frederick! - Reynaud LeBoeuf
Ethan - Scott Douwes
Mrs. Sherman - Angela Kirby
Garth Sherman - Luke LeBoeuf
News - Suzanne Dunn
Henry's Mom - Gwendolyn Gieseke-Woodard
Music by Kevin MacLeod (Incompetech.com)
Sound mastering:\xa0\xa0Julie Hoverson
Cover Design:\xa0 Dennis Hager\xa0
"What kind of a place is it? Why it's an old brownstone home, can't you tell?\xa0 Where else would you expect to find
... a couple of ghosts?
***************************************************************
A Ghost of a Chance
\xa0
Cast:
Eden Anderson, precocious 11-year old
Ethan Anderson, her dead father, 47
Callandra O'Doul, dead Irish maidservant, 20
Henry Torrence, burglar, 23
Frederick Ferryman, dead actor, 40s-50s
Ms. Sherman, CPS, 32
Garth Sherman, her son, a bully, 13
News [anything]
OLIVIA \xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0Did you have any trouble finding it?\xa0 What do you mean, what kind of a place is it?\xa0 Why, it's a big old brownstone, can't you tell?\xa0 Where else would you find a ghost or two?
SCENE 1 \u2013 coming home
MUSIC
SOUNDS\xa0\xa0\xa0 MODERN STREET NOISE.\xa0
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 WE FOLLOW THROUGH A CREAKY GATE.\xa0 STREET NOISE QUIETS A BIT.\xa0 FOOTSTEPS ON LEAVES, THEN ON WOOD PORCH.\xa0 KEY IN LOCK, DOOR OPENS, FOOTSTEPS PASS THROUGH.
\xa0
SCENE 2 \u2013 HALLWAY AND KITCHEN
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Hey!\xa0 I'm home!
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 BACKPACK FLUNG ONTO TABLE.\xa0 DOOR SHUTS AND IS CAREFULLY LOCKED.
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 You're going to have to do some shopping soon, miss.\xa0 We're almost out of soap powder.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [sigh] I'll put it on the list.\xa0
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 FOOTSTEPS, THEY HESITATE, THEN STOP
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 What?\xa0 Move it.\xa0 I'm tired.
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [evasive] You're looking a mite peaked.\xa0 You could use a bite to eat.\xa0 Come into the kitchen and have some soup.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [slightly suspicious] O-kay...\xa0
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 MODERN JAZZ, PLAYED LOW, SLIGHTLY MUFFLED
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Dad's not at the videos again is he?
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 OPENING CUPBOARDS, CANS BEING PULLED OUT AND PLACED ON THE COUNTER
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [not quite convincing] No.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Then why don't you want me to go upstairs?
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 POP TOP ON CAN, SOUP INTO BOWL
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Whatever gave you that idea--?
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Oh, please.
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Can I not just be concerned about you?\xa0 Someone has to be!
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 MICROWAVE OPENS, FOOD IN, SETTING TIME
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 I'm fine.
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 TURNS ON MICROWAVE
MUSIC
\xa0
SCENE 3 \u2013 A BIT LATER
AMBIANCE\xa0\xa0\xa0 TELEVISION PLAYS LOW IN THE BACKGROUND
News\xa0\xa0\xa0 ....was stolen from the J.J. Holdings museum at the university today. \xa0The vase is attributed to the school of Cellini, and has been valued at nearly half a million dollars.
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 CELLPHONE DIALS, RINGS, PICKS UP
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Hey Ariel.\xa0 ... Nothing.\xa0 Look, I've been thinking about--
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 THUMPING ON CEILING
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 --trying out... for...\xa0 Can you wait a minute, Ariel?
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 HOLD BUTTON IS PRESSED
SOUND \xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0DOOR OPENS.\xa0 STEPS INTO FOYER, SLIGHT ECHO
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 THUMPING FROM ABOVE.\xa0 A COUPLE OF RAPID STEPS.
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 [WHOOSHING SOUND OF A GHOST ARRIVING]
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Oh no, miss.\xa0
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Yeah?\xa0 Stop me.\xa0 It's not dad - I can hear his computer going, and it's not you, since you're right here.\xa0 Maybe Frederick?\xa0 [yelling] Frederick?
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [worried] Oh...
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 [WHOOSHING SOUND OF A GHOST ARRIVING]
FREDERICK\xa0\xa0\xa0 [overly theatrical, as always] Enter stage right.\xa0 Yeeeees?\xa0
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 See, it's all gone now--
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 THUMPING FROM ABOVE
CALLANDRA \xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0[dismay] Ooh!
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [grim] What is it?
FREDERICK\xa0\xa0\xa0 Shall I make a recon, my young commander?
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Oh! Shoot!
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 BEEP ON PHONE
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Gotta call you back, Ariel.\xa0 Yeah, it's dad.\xa0
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 PHONE HANGS UP
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Callandra?\xa0 You want to explain--
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 DOORBELL RINGS.\xa0 WHOOSH [GHOSTS LEAVING]
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [exasperated sound]\xa0 Uuh!
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 STAMPING FEET, CHAIN LOCK GOES ON
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [sighs]
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 DOOR OPENS
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [sweetly] Yes?\xa0
- SHERMAN Good evening. Are your parents around?
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 My father is asleep.\xa0 He hasn't been feeling very well.
- SHERMAN I think he'll want to speak to me.
FREDERICK\xa0\xa0\xa0 [whisper]\xa0 Why?\xa0 Is she covered in chocolate?
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [gritted teeth]\xa0 Maybe when he's feeling better.\xa0 Can he call you?
- SHERMAN Here's my card.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Oh.
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 What's C-P-S?\xa0 Does that mean she's with the coppers?
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 What's this about?\xa0 I would invite you in, but--
- SHERMAN No, I understand. Safety first.\xa0 [serious] There's been a complaint.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 By who?\xa0
FREDERICK\xa0\xa0\xa0 [booming voice] Whom.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 I mean - by whom?
- SHERMAN I'll discuss all that with your father. Please do have him call me.\xa0 [going off] All my info's on the card.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [calling] Thanks - uh - Ms. Sherman.
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 DOOR SHUTS
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Oh, shoot!
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Now, it's not that bad.\xa0 Is it?
FREDERICK\xa0\xa0\xa0 Of course it is.\xa0 CPS are the child police service.\xa0 They arrest bad little children.
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 The devil you say!\xa0 Oh, Eden, tell me darling!\xa0 They won\u2019t arrest you!
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 They don't - but they do take children away from the wrong type of home environment.
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [relieved] Ohhh!\xa0 We're safe enough then.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [as if] Ri-ight.
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 THUMPING
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Are you going to tell me, or do I just get to find out for myself?
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Oh, my stars...
MUSIC
\xa0
SCENE 4 - UPSTAIRS
SOUND \xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0DOOR UNLOCKS, OPENS
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [gasps] Jeez!\xa0 About flipping time! \xa0You ever hear of unlawful imprisonment?
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 I've heard of burglary.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 You're kinda small for a cop.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [exasperated noise] Dude.\xa0 You can come out now, but just so you know, I've got a taser.
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 SLOW FOOTSTEPS
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [gasps, shocked] You look like--!
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Got my hands up, all that.\xa0 [quoting] Don't tase me, [ending lamely] uh, bro.
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 A COUPLE MORE STEPS, THEN
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [grunt as he lunges at her]
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 SCUFFLE.\xa0 FALLING FURNITURE, SOMETHING BREAKS, THEN...
FREDERICK\xa0\xa0\xa0 [unearthly wail]
HENRY \xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0[screams, then gibbers until noted]
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 SOMETHING SMALL CLATTERS TO THE FLOOR
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 I hate when you do that!\xa0 That is so gross!\xa0 [tsk, annoyed sigh] You coulda left your head on...
FREDERICK\xa0\xa0\xa0 [huffy] It was effective.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [sigh]\xa0 You.\xa0 What's your name?
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [gibbering]\xa0 ...head came off, and cold, so cold!
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 SLAP
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [sharp intake of breath] Wha-ah-ah?
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Your name, mister burglar.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Henry.\xa0 Henry Torrence.\xa0 [whispered] What the heck was that?
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 A ghost.\xa0 Now, Mister Torrence, I suppose I'm gonna have to tie you up or something, so you don't try and jump me again--
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Howzabout just letting me - ya know - go?
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 You broke in.\xa0 I have to do something, and I really don't want to have to deal with the cops - they'll bother dad.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Look, I never hurt no one, I ain't the type.\xa0 I swear!
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Still...\xa0 I think you need to stay locked up for a while.\xa0
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Can I keep him?\xa0 Please?\xa0 I caught him!
FREDERICK\xa0\xa0\xa0 Shut up woman, we may be able to use this fellow's services.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [ordering] March!\xa0 I'll put you somewhere better than that closet, but you better stay put or -
FREDERICK\xa0\xa0\xa0 Boooooo!
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [gasps]
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [unenthusiastically] Yeah, that.\xa0 Boo.
MUSIC
\xa0
SCENE 5 - DOWNSTAIRS
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 What do you plan to do with him?\xa0 Please say I can have him for me own - he's such a fine specimen of a man.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 If you keep him, I have to feed him.
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Well... not necessarily...
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 No.\xa0 No.\xa0 No.\xa0 I'm not having any more ghosts around here.
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 You never let me have any fun!
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Besides, didn't you notice the resemblance?
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 To a man?
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 WHOOSH, FF ENTERS
FREDERICK\xa0\xa0\xa0 Our dear Callandra never looked above his [mocking her accent] "luuuvly broad shoulders!"
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Bite your tongue, Frederick!\xa0 I still have those clippings of yours, and you will sorely regret having a jape at my expense--
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Shut up!\xa0
MUSIC
\xa0
SCENE 6 \u2013 BREAKFAST IN BED
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 MORNING BIRD NOISES
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 MUFFLED THUMP, RATTLE AT DOORKNOB
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [yawns, waking]
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 CHAIN RATTLES, BEDCLOTHES RUSTLE
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [muffled] Are you awake?
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Yeah, sure.\xa0 Whatever.
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 DOOR OPENS WITH DIFFICULTY
SOUND \xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0EDEN ENTERS WITH TRAY
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 I hope you like bacon.
HENRY \xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0Uh, yeah! [surprised and enthused]
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 SHIFTING AS HE SITS UP IN BED, CHAIN MOVES
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Thanks.\xa0 Breakfast in bed.\xa0 Almost like a dream, except--
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 RATTLE OF CHAINS
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [snarky] Well, we can't have you wandering around the house like some sort of ... burglar, can we?
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Does she need to be here?
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 SETS DOWN TRAY, DISHES RATTLE
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 She's my backup.\xa0 I need to talk to you.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [annoyed] Go ahead.\xa0 I don't eat with my ears.
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 EATING NOISES
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [snort of laughter]\xa0 This is going to sound really dumb, but...\xa0 [thinks hard]\xa0 I have a kind of proposition for you.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [offended] You are way too young, and she's dead.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Huh?
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Shame on you!
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Nothing. [eats noisily]
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Ew!\xa0 [angry sigh]\xa0 Look, no.\xa0 My dad is out of town, and I need someone to pretend to be him and talk to CPS.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 CPS?\xa0 The CPS?\xa0 Hell no.\xa0 I hate those bast\u2011\u2011 uh-- buttheads.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Why?\xa0 You got kids?
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Never mind.\xa0 No way you can talk me into--
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 We'll pay you.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 --into-- How much?
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Dad said we could give you a thousand.\xa0 For staying here for two weeks and pretending to be him.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 He's not coming home for two weeks?\xa0 [truly offended] What the hell is wrong with him, leaving you all alone?
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Language!!
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 I don't give a flying rat's patoot about my language!\xa0 If your dad is so flipping negligent to leave you all alone for weeks at a time, [losing steam] then maybe you'd be ... better off--
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [anguish] In foster care?\xa0 No way!!
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Well, no, but... don't you have any other family?
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [mumbled] Not anywhere around here.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [sincere] That sucks!
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Look, I'm not supposed to say anything, but my dad...\xa0 He [whispers importantly] he works for the government.\xa0 Top secret.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Seriously?
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Uh-huh!\xa0 So he can't always control when he'll be back.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Why would he - why would you even trust me?
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 You won't get paid until after the two weeks is up.\xa0 Besides... I'm a pretty good cook?
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Okay, but I have to be able to tell my mom.\xa0 She'll worry if I don't get home.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 You live with your mom?\xa0 But you're like a grownup.\xa0 That's weird.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Why do you think I don't have a real job?\xa0
MUSIC
\xa0
SCENE 7 \u2013 MEETING CPS
FREDERICK\xa0\xa0\xa0 [sharp whisper] Now you just behave now, my lad, or I'll give you what for again.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [trying to be flippant] \u201cBoo.\u201d\xa0 I get it.\xa0 This makeup itches.\xa0
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Sorry.\xa0 You had to look a little older.\xa0
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 It is kinda creepy how I look so much like your dad.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Yeah.\xa0 [fretting] Where IS she?
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 KNOCK ON THE DOOR
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Eep!
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [to the ghosts] Scat! [quiet] Ready?
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Guess we'll find out.
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 FEET, DOOR UNLOCKS and OPENS
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Hello?\xa0 Ah.\xa0 Right on time.
- SHERMAN Your father--?
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Right here.\xa0 Come on in.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [trying too hard to sound old] Ethan Anderson.\xa0 Pleased to meet you. \xa0You're Ms. Sherman?
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [warning] Dad!\xa0 [explaining] He's had a cold.
- SHERMAN [warm] Ah!\xa0 I hope you're on the mend?
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [clears his throat, sounds more normal]\xa0 Yes, yes.\xa0 Much better.
MUSIC
\xa0
SCENE 8 \u2013 WAITING IN THE KITCHEN
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 FLAP OF KITCHEN DOOR, FEET
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [very nervous] How goes it?
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Seems OK, so far.\xa0
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [off, furious] What?
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Oh no!
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 RUNS OFF, FLAP OF DOOR
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [breathless] What?
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [grim] Tell her.
- SHERMAN [sweet] My dear, um, Eden. I was just telling your father that your school has raised issues about your father's involvement--
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Why?\xa0 He emails them all the time.\xa0 They understand how busy he is.
- SHERMAN We still have to take it under advisement. Now, off the record, and with the understanding that you, sir, are a fairly wealthy man, I might ask why you haven't engaged a nanny or other similar household staff--
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [QUIET, prompting] DAD!\xa0\xa0\xa0
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [angry] What business is it of yours, lady?
- SHERMAN Perhaps you should step out and leave us alone again, dear.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 No.\xa0 I may be too young for my opinion to count, but I want to hear what you plan to do to me.\xa0 We don't need anyone to look after the house.\xa0 I can do that.
- SHERMAN But you shouldn't have to - you are a child, dear, and you have better things to do.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Like what?\xa0 Play Xbox and get fat?
MUSIC
\xa0
SCENE 9 \u2013 AFTER SHE LEAVES
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 FRONT DOOR SHUTS, LOCKS
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 You have 20 million dollars?
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 And a half.\xa0 Not like I can spend it.\xa0 They don't trust me - that's why they call it a trust fund.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [snort]
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 SHE STARTS UP THE STAIRS
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Hey, we're talking here.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [upset] You're only my dad while there's an audience.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [calling] Why don't you want a nanny or something?
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 RUNS UP THE STAIRS
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Poor child.\xa0
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [gasps]\xa0 Oh, right.\xa0
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Pity you're not much of a father.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [offended] You're not much help, either.
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Oh?\xa0 And what do you expect from me?\xa0 I've been dead over a century, boyo.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 How's that work, anyway?
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [pouty] Don't know.\xa0 Wouldn't tell you if I did.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Fine.\xa0 Whatever.\xa0 You have anything to drink around this place?
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [rolls eyes] Oh, yes.\xa0 That would look terrible good to Ms. Sherman, wouldn't it?
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 I'm going out for a while.\xa0 Don't worry - I'll sneak out the back.\xa0 I'm good at THAT.
MUSIC
\xa0
SCENE 10 \u2013 HENRY\u2019S HOME
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 DOOR OPENS, MUSIC PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [sigh, then calling]\xa0 Hey mom!
MOM\xa0\xa0\xa0 [bleary drunk] Baby?\xa0 That you?
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [resigned] Yes, mom.
MOM\xa0\xa0\xa0 Where you been?\xa0
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 I gotta job, mom.\xa0 Been working.
MOM\xa0\xa0\xa0 You bring me back a little something, baby?\xa0 Medicine?
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [down] Tomorrow.\xa0 I promise.
MOM\xa0\xa0\xa0 [sarcastic] Such a good boy.\xa0 You gon' expect me to bail you out again?\xa0 You need to get you some better friends, baby.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 I'm not a baby, mom.\xa0 I'm thirty-five.
MOM\xa0\xa0\xa0 You'll always be my baby, Henry, won't you?\xa0 You know how much I count on you.\xa0 How much it hurts every time you been taken away from me.\xa0 What would I do if you were in jail?\xa0 Do you ever think about that?
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Yeah.\xa0 [under his breath] All the time.
MUSIC
\xa0
SCENE 11 \u2013 CHAT WITH DAD
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 COMPUTER KEYS
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 DOOR OPENS
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Eden?
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [gasps] What?\xa0 Oh!\xa0 You're back!
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 FOOTSTEPS
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 You shouldn't sit in the dark like that.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [sarcastic] Thanks dad.\xa0 [serious]\xa0 I've been chatting with my real dad.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 I didn't hear anything, if that's what you're worried about.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Duh.\xa0 Computer chatting.\xa0
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Typing.\xa0 Right.\xa0 I'm not much for the whole computer thing.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 That could be awkward, if Ms. Sherman decides to quiz you on what you do for a living.\xa0 Dad's a programmer.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 For the government?
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [scornful] No!\xa0 [realizing] Oh, I mean... uh... he's a programmer for real, but he doesn't program for them.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [suspicious] Can I type something to him?
EDEN \xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0Sure.
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 CHAIR SHIFTS, CLUMSY, SLOW TYPING
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Is this a secret, or can I type it for you?
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Yeah, go on - at this rate I'll be here all night just to say Hi.\xa0 Um... [thinking] Mister... uh ... can I call him Ethan?
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [responding to dad]\xa0 All right.\xa0 He says let's turn on the microphone.
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 CLICK
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Now you can just talk. He still has to type, though.\xa0 His mike is broken.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 I don't know you, so maybe I'm not the one who should be saying this, but - here goes.\xa0 Dude, leaving your kid alone makes you a bad dad.\xa0 So what if the government needs you!
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 You're... serious?
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Hell yeah.\xa0 You're gonna grow up robbing banks and stuff.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Hmm.\xa0 He says, just because your dad was a deadbeat, doesn't mean --
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 What the hell do you think you know?
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 He says--
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 I can see what he says.\xa0 Background check, my ass!
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 I told you he's a computer guy.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Fine.\xa0 You need to take care of--
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Don't tell me how to raise my daughter.\xa0 Oh, and he says "watch"--
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 [some CCTV video comes on the computer]
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [shocked] How did he get that?
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Is that you?\xa0 Breaking into a building?\xa0 Wow.\xa0 Wait, is that the museum?
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 So that's your way of keeping me in line?\xa0
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Are you the one who stole the Cellini vase?
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 I plead the fifth.\xa0 [angry sigh] Fine. \xa0I'll do my two weeks, and then I am the hell out of here.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [angry] Very well, you worthless wretch!
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 What?
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [innocent] Just what he said.
MUSIC
\xa0
SCENE 12 \u2013 RUDE AWAKENING
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 POUNDING ON DOOR
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Mr. Anderson!!\xa0
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [sleepy] What?
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 That woman is at the door!\xa0
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 I can't answer it like this!\xa0 I don't have that old-age makeup--
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Frederic!
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 No, no - I can do it--
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 POUNDING AGAIN
FREDERIC\xa0\xa0\xa0 Did I hear a cue?
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 No, we--
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 He needs to look old and ill.\xa0 And right fast.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Really, I--
FREDERIC\xa0\xa0\xa0 Hmm.\xa0 Here.\xa0 [horrible ghostly noise]
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [screams]
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Shh!
FREDERIC\xa0\xa0\xa0 Damnation.\xa0 Once that would have turned your hair quite white - as it is, you will have to wear a cap.
MUSIC
\xa0
SCENE 13 \u2013 CPS AGAIN
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 DOOR OPENS SLOWLY
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [shaky] Yes?
- SHERMAN Took you long enough.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 I was in the shower.\xa0 Nearly killed myself slipping when I came down the stairs.
- SHERMAN Are you going to ask me in?
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 You might have heard the scream.
- SHERMAN No. [hinting to let her in] It is rather chilly out here.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [sigh] Very well.
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 THEY GO IN, HE FAKES A LIMP
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 You watch out for that one!
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Shh!
FREDERICK\xa0\xa0\xa0 She can't hear us unless we want her to.
- SHERMAN I expect Eden is at school right now?
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 She's a very good student.
- SHERMAN [disdainful] B plus.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 That ain't nothing to sneeze at, lady!
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 SITS
- SHERMAN But we both know she could do better.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 What makes you think that?
- SHERMAN You could get her tutors.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Why?\xa0 She's real smart.
FREDERICK\xa0\xa0\xa0 You tell her!\xa0 But you might try using proper grammar.
- SHERMAN There's so many things your money could do for your daughter.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 I'd rather let her be herself.
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Oh, that's touching, that is.
- SHERMAN You could send her to private school. My own son Garth is in private school.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [faltering] She has ...friends.... here.
- SHERMAN [hinting] A very expensive private school.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 You recruiting or something?\xa0 I ain't making any decisions behind my kid's back.
- SHERMAN You could pay me to leave you alone.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 She wants to stay --\xa0 WHAT?\xa0
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Horrors!
FREDERIC\xa0\xa0\xa0 Bezom!
- SHERMAN You must understand, Mr. Anderson, just how poorly compensated we civil servants are these days. What a completely thankless job we do.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 You really just hit me up for money?
- SHERMAN And how particularly expensive a really good school is.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [incredulous] Money.\xa0 You're asking for money.
- SHERMAN Of course.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 You're a skanky money-grubbing ho!
FREDERIC\xa0\xa0\xa0 Filth straight from the bowels of satan's own thrice-crowned hounds of hell!
- SHERMAN Language! [evil nice again] You have plenty of money.\xa0 I've looked into your financials.\xa0 Not just Eden's little trust fund, but liquid assets as well.\xa0
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 That's blackmail!
- SHERMAN Technically, it's extortion. So far.\xa0 Extortion is getting money with a threat of something yet to come.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 It's still illegal.
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Oh, horrors!
- SHERMAN Blackmail, on the other hand, is getting money with the threat of revealing something from the past. Like your criminal record?
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 My... [confused] what?
- SHERMAN Mr. Anderson, I have no wish to go into detail, but do you really think I would come here with just the might of CPS behind me?
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Maybe.
- SHERMAN No. I have something concrete on you.\xa0
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Doesn't ring a bell.\xa0 [chuckles lamely]\xa0 Criminal record?\xa0 Me?\xa0 [laughs]
- SHERMAN Do the words 1987 and dot com mean anything to you?
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 But I was just-- ["a kid", but he cuts off]
- SHERMAN Using an assumed name? You're very lucky no one thought to cross-reference your fingerprints before, but once they do what I did...
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Oh, crap.
- SHERMAN I'm in no hurry. I'd be happy to take a little something up front, and then a larger payment by the end of the week, perhaps?
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 I'll ...see what I have lying around.
MUSIC
\xa0
SCENE 14 \u2013 CHAT WITH DAD
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 DOOR OPENS, FEET STORM IN
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Is your mike on, Mr. Anderson?
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 COMPUTER BEEP
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Good.\xa0 Cause I don't know jack about how to work these things.
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 COMPUTER BOOP
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 You heard what happened?\xa0 How?
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 BOOP
HENRY \xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0I didn't even notice a computer in the living room.\xa0
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 BOOP
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Huh?\xa0 Which button?
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 BOOP
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 No need to get snippy.
SOUND \xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0BUTTON PUSHED
ETHAN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [computer generated voice]\xa0 You will go immediately to the first hill bank and trust--
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 What do you mean immediately?\xa0 I gotta do grocery shopping this morning.
ETHAN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Delivered.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Not for here.\xa0 for my mom.
ETHAN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Get it delivered.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Hey! Mom may be an old lush, but she expects to see me from time to time.
ETHAN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Bank after.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 What's all this crap that witch was talking about, anyway?
ETHAN\xa0\xa0\xa0 No time.\xa0 Bank today.\xa0 Take three thousand dollars--
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 I can't pass for you at a damn bank!\xa0 I can't sign your name!\xa0
ETHAN \xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0Account in your name.\xa0 Use your own I-D.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 What?\xa0 In my name?\xa0 What makes you think I won't just walk off... [back on topic] Second - why three thousand?\xa0 She won't settle for just three--
ETHAN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Three thousand will pay off her car.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Damn.\xa0 You really can find out anything, can't you?
MUSIC
\xa0
SCENE 15 \u2013 HENRY HOME
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 DOOR OPENS, MOM'S HOUSE.\xa0 TV ON
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 I brought your groceries.
MOM\xa0\xa0\xa0 Good.\xa0 Didja get any beer?
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 It's still in the car.
MOM\xa0\xa0\xa0 Bring that in next, woudja?\xa0 That's a good boy.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [from other room, confused] Mom?\xa0 Where's my TV?
MOM\xa0\xa0\xa0 Mine was ...uh...on the fritz, so I moved yours in here.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 You did?
MOM\xa0\xa0\xa0 I had help.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 You forgot to pay, didn't you?
MOM\xa0\xa0\xa0 That is no way to talk to your mother!\xa0 Besides, if you weren't gone all the time, I wouldn't have such a problem.\xa0 You know I never was good with money.\xa0
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Yeah.
MOM\xa0\xa0\xa0 When did you say you'd get paid for this new job you got?
MUSIC
\xa0
SCENE 16 \u2013 DINNER WITH EDEN
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 DINNER NOISES\xa0\xa0\xa0
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 You made this?
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [sullen] Yeah.\xa0
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 It's pretty good.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Should be.\xa0 Been cooking since I was [Callandra's accent] "just a wee thing".\xa0 [change of tone, sullen]\xa0 You were gone all day.\xa0 Again.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 I came back.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Well, duh.\xa0 We're paying you to be here.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Are the ghosts joining us?
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [still sullen] Frederic gets too jumpy around food, and Callandra "doesna feel tis proper."
MOMENT OF SILENCE
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Are you mad at me?\xa0
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 THUMP - VASE ON TABLE
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 What the h---ay?\xa0 You going through my room?
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Callandra saw you hide it.\xa0 SHE's very upset with you.
CALLNDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [from off] Though it is a right pretty wee thing!
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 I had to bring it along - mom was about to use it as an ashtray.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Why do you steal?
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Whoa!\xa0 That ain't polite to ask.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 It isn't polite to steal.
MOMENT OF SILENCE
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 What else am I gonna do?\xa0 Shove burgers? \xa0I ain't even got a GED.\xa0 Without that\u2026 well\u2026
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 If you're trying to convince me to stay in school, there's no point.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 No way!\xa0 You gonna drop out?\xa0 Smart kid like you \u2013 you could be any darn thing you want!
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Oh, please.\xa0 I already have a GED.\xa0 Or at least, I took the test \u2013 just to see, you know?\xa0 And I've taken a few college courses on the Internet.\xa0 I stay in school for the socialization.\xa0
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Huh?
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 I stay in school to look normal and have friends.\xa0 The work is boring as hell, but I don't want to stand out.\xa0 Do you know how hard it is to manage a B+ average?
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [sarcastic] Never had that problem, myself.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [mounting upset] I have to guess on each test what the correct percentage of answers is to get wrong.\xa0 I have to dumb my writing down for essay questions.\xa0 I have to--
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Why?
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Why?
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Why not just say to hell with it, and let em see how smart you are?
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Smart kids get noticed.\xa0 I can stand out when I'm older.\xa0 When it's safe.\xa0
MUSIC
\xa0
SCENE 17 \u2013 WHERE\u2019S DAD
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 COMPUTER NOISES
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 You need to get your butt home, dude.\xa0 Your government might need you, but your daughter needs you more.
ETHAN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Not possible.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 What, are you in deep cover or something?\xa0 In a foreign prison?\xa0 [slow realization]\xa0 Oh.... crap.
ETHAN\xa0\xa0\xa0 We are both in crap.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 No, I mean you - you're like them, aren't you?
ETHAN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Define "them".
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 The ghosts.
ETHAN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [beat] Yes.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Holy crap.
ETHAN\xa0\xa0\xa0 No.\xa0 Just regular crap.\xa0
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 I can't stay here forever!
ETHAN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Eden needs you.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [wobbling] My mom... she needs me, too.
ETHAN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Open the scanner.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 What?\xa0 Oh, that.\xa0
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 SCANNER NOISE
ETHAN\xa0\xa0\xa0 I need your hand.
MUSIC
\xa0
SCENE 18 \u2013 WHERE\u2019S MOM
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 SILENT HOUSE, KEY IN LOCK, DOOR OPENS
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Mom, why's the TV --?\xa0 [panicky] Mom?
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 MOVES THROUGH, TALKING
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Mom, please say you're okay.\xa0 Say something!\xa0 Hello?\xa0 Oh, jeez, what could they'a done to\u2011\u2011 [cuts off as he spots something] What?
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 PAPER PICKED UP
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [Reading]\xa0 Hope you get this. Woulda called, but--
MOM\xa0\xa0\xa0 [continuing, guilt tripping]\xa0 --you never gave me your number at "work".\xa0 Won a cruise in a mail-in contest. \xa0Back in a month.\xa0 "Mom."\xa0 P-S, all expenses paid - how you like them apples.\xa0 Oh, and make sure to pay the electric bill. \xa0Want heat when I get home.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [half amused, half annoyed chuckle] Ethan, you king of all shits.
MUSIC
\xa0
SCENE 19 \u2013 LIKE MOTHER
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 OUTSIDE, DAYTIME STREET
GARTH\xa0\xa0\xa0 Hey!
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [suspicious]\xa0 Can I help you?
GARTH\xa0\xa0\xa0 [mean chuckle] You bet.
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 CLICK OF CAMERA PHONE
GARTH\xa0\xa0\xa0 [annoyed] Hey!
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [scared, but standing her ground] If this is a mugging, I just e-mailed your picture to my dad.
GARTH\xa0\xa0\xa0 He's not gonna do anything.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 What makes you so sure?
GARTH\xa0\xa0\xa0 My mom has him by the short hairs.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Your mom?
GARTH\xa0\xa0\xa0 Sherman?\xa0 From CPS?\xa0 Ring any bells?
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 She went away.\xa0 Everything is fine.
GARTH\xa0\xa0\xa0 Course it is.\xa0 It's fine as long as you guys play ball.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [starting to get it]\xa0 As long as we--?
GARTH\xa0\xa0\xa0 Pay up.\xa0
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 But that's--
GARTH\xa0\xa0\xa0 You wanna complain, go whine to your dad, he'll explain the facts of life.\xa0 For now... you got an ipod?
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [starting to break] I--
GARTH\xa0\xa0\xa0 [threatening] Or should I say, do I got an ipod?\xa0 [snarl] Hand it over.
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 HAND OVER
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [nearly in tears] There.\xa0 Choke on it, you bully!
GARTH\xa0\xa0\xa0 Uh!\xa0 [shoves her]
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 EDEN FALLS
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [gasp, trying hard not to cry]
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 GARTH WALKS AWAY
GARTH\xa0\xa0\xa0 Hah!\xa0 She got the Bieber fever.\xa0 [nasty laugh]\xa0 Ooh!\xa0 Beyonce!\xa0
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [long sniffle]
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 RUNNING FEET
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 What happened?\xa0 Here, let me--
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 SHE JUMPS UP AND THROWS HER ARMS AROUND HIM
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [crying]
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [nervous, not sure what to say] It's okay!\xa0 I'll handle this.\xa0 It's-- [determined, personal]\xa0 It's going to be okay.
MUSIC
\xa0
SCENE 20 \u2013 getting even
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 QUIETLY DRESSING
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [whispering] It's easy to forget she's just a kid.
FREDERIC\xa0\xa0\xa0 [stage whisper]\xa0 She is a most self-possessed young lady.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Shh.\xa0 She only just got to sleep.
FREDERIC\xa0\xa0\xa0 And you?\xa0 Are you leaving her now, in her hour of need?
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [grim] Something I gotta do.
FREDERIC\xa0\xa0\xa0 In the middle of the night?
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 ZIPPER ZIPS
FREDERIC\xa0\xa0\xa0 And dressed all in black?\xa0 I sense skullduggery!
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Sense all you want, but stay quiet about it.\xa0
FREDERIC\xa0\xa0\xa0 Alas that I cannot do more than keep the light burning for your return.\xa0
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Yeah.\xa0 See you in the morning.
MUSIC
\xa0
SCENE 21 \u2013 SATISFACTION
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 LOUD BANGING ON THE FRONT DOOR, DOOR OPENS
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [self satisfied] Ahh!\xa0 [yawns]\xa0 So sorry.\xa0 Long night.
- SHERMAN Your check bounced!
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [congenial]\xa0 No, I put a stop payment on it.\xa0 Won't you come in?
- SHERMAN You WHAT?
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 I - we - aren't playing your game any more.
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 DOOR CREAKS OPEN A CRACK, UP CLOSE
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [whispered, eavesdropping] Go, Henry!
FREDERIC\xa0\xa0\xa0 I could always give her a visitation - maybe we'll get lucky and she'll keel over from the shock!
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 No!\xa0 He may be a butt, but I don't want you to kill some kid's mom!\xa0
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 They've gone into the living room!
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 I'll have to listen on the laptop then.\xa0 Right dad?
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 BEEP
MUSIC
\xa0
SCENE 22 \u2013 REVELATION
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Would you like a soda?
- SHERMAN I would like an explanation. What makes you think I won't go through with turning you in?
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Go ahead.\xa0 When they take my fingerprints and they don't match the ones you have on file, you'll look pretty silly.
- SHERMAN You - you...!
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 You might have noticed that I'm a bit of a computer nerd.
- SHERMAN Oh-ho-ho! [getting composure back]\xa0 You may have changed the prints on the system,\xa0 But you can't get into my backups.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Call my bluff.
- SHERMAN Very well--
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 BUT--
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 MOMENT OF AWKWARD PAUSE
- SHERMAN [worried] What?
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 I'm afraid you have a problem of your own.
- SHERMAN I have a what? Are you trying to blackmail me?\xa0 I am very careful.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 About your money stuff, yeah - I'm sure you are.\xa0 This is something else.\xa0 A vase.
- SHERMAN A what?
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Have you read the papers recently?\xa0 The museum?
- SHERMAN The Cellini Vase?
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Yeah, that thing.
- SHERMAN What does that have to do with me?
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 It's in your house.
MUSIC
\xa0
SCENE 23 \u2013 FINALE
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 What if she finds it?
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 What's she gonna do with it?\xa0 She don't know no fences.
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Or any place to sell it either.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 She might give it back?
FREDERIC\xa0\xa0\xa0 And try to explain how she happened to come by such a fugitive object?\xa0 Hah!
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Hah is right.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [down] So I guess this means you're gonna go now.\xa0 I mean now that it's all clear.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 I guess.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Would you stay?\xa0 I mean, if you could?
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 I'd like to but.... I dunno.\xa0 My mom--
SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 BEEP
ETHAN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [computer voice] Was lucky and got an apartment in a new full-service assisted living community.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 What?\xa0 You can't just--
ETHAN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Try and get her out.\xa0 They have KeNo every Thursday.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [annoyed but thinking] Hmm..... Does she get to have a nice TV?
ETHAN\xa0\xa0\xa0 No.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 What?\xa0 How can you--?
ETHAN\xa0\xa0\xa0 You will bring one to her.\xa0
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Clever.
FREDERIC\xa0\xa0\xa0 Brilliant!
CALLANDRA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [sniffling] Touching.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Gotcha.\xa0 And what about me?
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 I have four more years before I can technically be emancipated.\xa0 If you're willing to be my dad til then, we'll--
ETHAN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Pay you one hundred thousand per year.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [dubious] That's pretty good.\xa0 Hmm...\xa0 Four years.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Well, what do you want, then?
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Four years sounds like a heckuva lot like college.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 I'm still too young.
HENRY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Nah... I was thinking... you know... [quiet] For me.\xa0 [up] But only if you'll help me get my GED and stuff.
EDEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 I bet I could be a really good tutor!
MUSIC\xa0\xa0\xa0 END