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Published: May 13, 2022, 5:05 a.m.

The Close Shave - (B&B Investigations, #3) The latest case involves one of Donna's old classmates - wed to a mysterious stranger, left destitute... now her life is in danger!

Written and produced by Julie Hoverson\xa0

Cast List
Paul Bette \xa0- Joel Harvey
Donna Bella \xa0- Julie Hoverson
Goldy Tailor \xa0- Crystal Thomson
Captain OftheGuard - Reynaud LeBoeuf
Rumplestiltskin \xa0- Philomen Vanderbeck
Mrs. Edwina Beard - Rhys TM
Mr. Beard - Benjamin Lind
Mr. Rexmusson - H. Keith Lyons
Mulva - Katharine D. Clark
Frederick - Cary Ayers
Thug - Danar Hoverson

Music by\xa0\xa0Somewhere off Jazz Street
Editing and Sound:\xa0\xa0 Julie Hoverson
Cover Design:\xa0 Brett Coulstock

"What kind of a place is it?
Why it's 1940s detective agency... with a twist, can't you tell?"

***********************************************

The Close Shave

Cast:

[Opening credits - Olivia]

Paul Bette

Donna Bella

Goldy Tailor

Captain OftheGuard

Mrs. Edwina Beard

Mr. Beard

Mr. Rexmusson, Edwina's father

Rumplestiltskin

thug

Frederick, the butler

Mulva, the new wife

OLIVIA \xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0Did you have any trouble finding it?\xa0 What do you mean, what kind of a place is it?\xa0 Why, it's the office of a private eye, can't you tell?\xa0

MUSIC

SOUND \xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0DOOR OPENS

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 B&B Investigations, how may I --[cuts off in disgust]\xa0 Sorry.\xa0 We don't need no cleaning staff.

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [very posh sounding, correcting her]\xa0 Any cleaning staff.

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [puzzled] Any cleaning staff, what?

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [dismissive mutter] I'm surprised you don't rhyme.\xa0 [up] I am here to hire a private investigator.\xa0 I have heard that this firm is very.... discreet.

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 DOOR OPENS

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Discreet yes.\xa0 Cheap no.\xa0 You better have--

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Edwina?\xa0 Edwina Rexmusson?

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [cussing] \xa0Oh, goblins.\xa0 [up, false gushy]\xa0 Donna!\xa0 It's been simply ages!

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 What are you doing here?\xa0 And what's with the getup?

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [trying to keep composure] Oh... Donna!\xa0 Are you ...here to hire an investigator as well?\xa0

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Um, no.\xa0 I... am the investigator.

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [snooty] Oh?

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [sharp] Dressed like THAT, I wouldn't sneer, sweetheart.\xa0 [nicer]\xa0 Besides, whatever's wrong, I'm probably the only investigator in town who could truly understand.\xa0 Come along.\xa0 [to Goldy] Do we have any cocoa?

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [breaking into tears] Oh!\xa0 You remembered!

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [stage whisper]\xa0 And a box of tissues.\xa0 [to Edwina]\xa0 My office is right over here.

MUSIC\xa0\xa0\xa0 VOICEOVER

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Edwina was one of those snooty girls I'd gone to school with, back before my family's fortunes fell.\xa0 [losing track] Funny.\xa0 Failed to figure on fff-- [thinks, sighs] alliteration.\xa0 [back] \xa0From what I could recall, though I hadn't really paid attention, she'd dropped out of sight about a year back.\xa0 Her current state, dressed in - well let's face it - rags, haggard and undernourished, was shocking.\xa0

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Flabbergasting, even.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Shh!

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Do you need me?

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Not yet.\xa0 You're still on that breach of contract, aren't you?

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 I've just about got it wrapped up.\xa0 Found three crickets and a snail that will swear to witnessing the ball retrieval.\xa0 [confident] He'll get what's coming to him.\xa0 I'll just listen in? \xa0If you don't mind?\xa0 Nothing more boring than a stakeout.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Gotcha.\xa0 [clears throat] I waited for Edwina to calm down enough to talk.

MUSIC\xa0\xa0\xa0 FADES OUT

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [blows nose excessively into handkerchief]\xa0

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Try some cocoa.\xa0 You'll feel better.\xa0 Now take your time and tell me what's wrong.

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [sips, sighs]\xa0 Oh... It's my husband.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Oh?\xa0 I guess I didn't know you were married.\xa0 Not that I've been much in society recently.

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Oh! yes.\xa0 Maybe you are the one person who can understand.\xa0 My father was absolutely set on my marrying, but I wanted... well...

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 A career?

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 No.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Romance?

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 No.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 A Pony?\xa0 What?

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [painful admission] I just wanted... my own way.\xa0 More than anything else, I didn't want to give in and do what father wanted.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 I take it he was not amused?

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [mirthless laugh] \xa0He kept parading eligible bachelors around, and I... I kept shooting them down.\xa0 This one was too fat, that one too thin, that one too hairy--

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 There's something cuddly about "hairy".

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Oh, don't even go there!!!\xa0 Why my husband--

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Sorry!\xa0

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 So father, exasperated, said I would be married before my birthday, like it or not.\xa0 And if I wouldn't take any of the suitable men, I would end up [sniffles] wed to the first man to come to the door.\xa0 [sobs, then wails]\xa0 Even if he was a pattycake!!!

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 What's wrong with--?

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [wails]\xa0 Waaahhhh!

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Yowtch.\xa0 And this was last year?

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [sniffs, then tries to calm] Almost exactly a year ago.\xa0 How can I forget?\xa0 The day before my 21st birthday, my father tossed me at this.... "person", ran the paperwork through, and threw me out of the house.\xa0 Since then... Well, you see how I am.

MUSIC FOR VOICEOVER

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 For all her suffering, Edwina was holding up pretty well.\xa0 She had gone from pampered princess to long-suffering housewife in one fell swoop.\xa0 Had to learn to cook, clean, and even run her husband's little china shop.\xa0 She'd been tempered in the fire.\xa0 And she used to be nothing BUT temper.

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 There's plenty like that.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 I am ignoring you.\xa0

MUSIC \xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0CUTS OUT SUDDENLY

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Me?

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Sorry.\xa0 Nothing.\xa0 So what exactly do you need help with?\xa0

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Oh, that!\xa0 Someone is trying to kill me.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Really?

MUSIC FOR VOICEOVER

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Suddenly a simple domestic case had turned very interesting indeed.\xa0

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Edwina said that on two different occasions, there had been "accidents" that might have killed her, if not for this "strange man".\xa0

MUSIC FADES

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 IN CAR

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Did she say what he looked like?

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 She said he looked vaguely familiar, but had a scarf covering the lower half his face.\xa0

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 And these "accidents?"

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Nothing she could take to the cops.\xa0 She felt a hand push her on a street corner, and would have gone right out into traffic.\xa0 Except...

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Except for this stranger?

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Yes.\xa0 He grabbed her and pulled her back.\xa0 That was the first time.\xa0 She wrote it off, figuring someone just lost their balance.

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 But... then?

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Yeah.\xa0 She'd just shut up shop for the night, was heading home, and a piano fell on her.

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 You're kidding?!?

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Nope.\xa0 It was being lifted to an upstairs apartment, and the ropes just... gave way.\xa0

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 And the guy?

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Swooped in on a motorcycle and pushed her out of the way.

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 At best, he's been following her everywhere.\xa0

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 At worst, he's part of it.

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 So she wants us to--

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 First, find out who might be trying to kill her.\xa0 Second find this guy.\xa0 And [sigh] If we find out anything about her husband along the way....

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 [grr]\xa0 I hate matrimony cases.\xa0 [backpedaling] not that I hate matrimony, though!\xa0 [a moment, musing/hinting]\xa0 Cuddly?

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 What?

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 [too quick] Nothing.

MUSIC FOR VOICEOVER

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 I figured I'd start with a trip to the delivery company, see who might have ordered that piano--

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Or who inquired about it.\xa0

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Yes.\xa0 Was this accident a spur of the moment crime, or something much more sinister?

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 I decided to look into who might want Edwina dead, and why.\xa0 I had a few contacts at the hall of records who liked nothing better than rooting out such juicy tidbits of gossip.

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 What are you thinking?

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 There's only a couple of possible motives for murder - money and passion being the best possibilities in this case.\xa0

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 And since Edwina's father cut her off without a simolean to her name, there either had to be money she didn't know about--

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Long lost heirs?\xa0 That's a stretch.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [a bit annoyed] OR it had to do with her husband, the aptly named Mr. Beard.

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 First name?

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Apparently they're not that familiar.

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 [flabbergasted!] What?

MUSIC CUTS OUT SUDDENLY

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Seriously?\xa0 She doesn't know his first name?

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 He doesn't talk to her much, except to give orders.

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Even... um... when...?

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [hinting] They sleep in separate rooms.

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 [stunned] Oh.\xa0 Who IS this guy?

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 That's what I plan to find out.\xa0 Ah!\xa0 Hall of records.\xa0 My stop.

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Right.\xa0 Meet for dinner?

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Of course.

MUSIC\xa0\xa0\xa0 VOICEOVER

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 I watched her walk away, a red-haired slither of pure lusciousness.\xa0 [grr] At least until the car behind me started to honk.

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 HONK ENDS VOICEOVER MUSIC

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 CAR STARTS

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 PHONE RINGS, PICKS UP

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 B&B Investigations, how may I direct--

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [on filter] It happened again!

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 What happened?

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Just tell Donna!\xa0 Get her to come to my place.\xa0 She has the address.\xa0 Quickly! Before my husband gets home!

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 I'll see what I can do.

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 It's a matter of life and death!

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 PHONE HANGS UP, IS SET DOWN

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Hmm.\xa0 Now let's see - How do they DO that?

MUSIC\xa0\xa0\xa0 FOR VOICEOVER

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Well, that was easy.\xa0 [speaking loudly, as if trying to be noticed] \xa0I was trying desperately to figure out how to get a message to my boss, Donna Bella.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 You don't have to yell!

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [normal tone] The client called.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Edwina.

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 We ain't been formally introduced.\xa0 Besides, I'm trying to be all professional here.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 OK, just tell me what you got.

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 She needs you over there lickety split.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Did she actually say--?

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 I'm paraphrasing.\xa0

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Fine.\xa0 Now leave the voiceover to me.\xa0 [beat]\xa0 Ok.\xa0 I caught a cab and raced to Edwina's fifth floor walkup.\xa0 It was as old and careworn as her dress.\xa0 I really started to sympathize.\xa0

MUSIC\xa0\xa0\xa0 OUT

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 KNOCKING ON THE DOOR

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [shriek] Who is it?

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 It's me!

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 HEAVY FOOTSTEP, DOWN THE HALL

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [gasp]\xa0 Hello?

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 LOTS OF LOCKS UNLOCKING

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [whispered to the door] I'll be right back!

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 No!

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Shh!

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 QUIET STEPS

MUSIC FOR VOICEOVER

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 I was pretty sure I'd seen movement down around the dimly lit corner.\xa0 I'm not usually the physical type - I leave all that to Paul--

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 [distant] [laughing hysterically]

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [grim and determined] --BUT I wanted to at least get a glimpse of whoever it was that was spying on Edwina's door.\xa0

MUSIC OUT

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 QUICK STEPS

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Hah!

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 DOOR SHUTS QUICKLY

MUSIC IN

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 I rushed up, but the series of locks - a strangely familiar series of locks - was already being thrown.\xa0 I waited a moment, then peered through the keyhole, straining for any glimpse of the perpetrator.

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 What did you see?

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Out!

MUSIC OUT

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Not you, her!

MUSIC IN

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Fine.\xa0

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 What did you see?

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Let me talk to Edwina first.

MUSIC OUT

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 TAP ON DOOR, DOOR WRENCHED OPEN

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 What happened?

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Nothing.\xa0 Thought I heard something.

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 It was probably a mouse.\xa0 They're in half the apartments here.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Can't they get rid of them?

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [shrug] Not unless they get behind on the rent.

MUSIC IN

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Let me take this and give you ladies some privacy.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Sounds good.\xa0 I might be a little late.

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 No problem.\xa0 [voiceover]\xa0 I had had a frustrating day.\xa0 The moving company was paid in cash, and the apartment they were delivering to had been rented under a false name.\xa0

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Back at the office, a pile of official looking papers that Donna had messengered, arrived.\xa0 If you're bored or anything.

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 I still have leads to follow up.

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 I'm shutting up for the day.\xa0 You have fun.

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 [sigh]\xa0 Some days you wonder why you even need a secretary--

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [distant] I heard that!

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 [thinking quick] And then you recall how much time you haveta spend away from the office, and it all becomes clear.\xa0 [waits a second]\xa0 Phew!\xa0 She does come in handy.\xa0 [narrating]\xa0 I walked into the bar where the lowest denizens of the city hung out, and lowest among them--

MUSIC OUT

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Hey, Rump.\xa0

RUMPY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Not tonight, Bette.\xa0 I got lady trouble.

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Really?\xa0 You?

RUMPY\xa0\xa0\xa0 You don't have to sound so.... so...

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Sorry.

RUMPY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Take it from me, don't ever let one of them find out your real name.\xa0 [drinks deep]\xa0 So you here for a social call?\xa0

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 You know better.

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 CLINK OF COINS ON COUNTER

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 But I can make it worth your while.

RUMPY\xa0\xa0\xa0 I'll drink that in the next 10 minutes.

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Give me something good, and you'll get another half hour's worth.

RUMPY\xa0\xa0\xa0 What's the question?

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Mr. Rexmussen and his daughter Edwina. \xa0Anything you know.

RUMPY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Off the top of my head?\xa0 And drunk?\xa0 Nothing.\xa0

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 COINS BEING DRAGGED AWAY

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Oh.

RUMPY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Except--

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 COINS STOP MOVING

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Go on.

RUMPY\xa0\xa0\xa0 I do know that just about a year ago, daddy dearest said he was gonna hitch her to the first dude to come to the door, and there was a virtual stampede to get there - but this mug Beard was already at the head of the line.

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Like he... knew in advance?

RUMPY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Could be...\xa0 or... [trails off suggestively, drinks]

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 TWO MORE COINS SET DOWN

RUMPY\xa0\xa0\xa0 More like he kind of appeared out of nowhere.\xa0 No one knew him before. \xa0No one knows when he came to town.\xa0 Nothing.

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Hmm...

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 COUPLE MORE COINS

RUMPY\xa0\xa0\xa0 That's all I got.\xa0

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 SHOVES COINS

RUMPY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Now leave me to my misery.

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Nah.\xa0 Keep it.\xa0

MUSIC in

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 So a Beard with no roots.\xa0 But who could have known that Edwina's dad was going to go ballistic?

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Daddy probably set it all up with the mug.\xa0 To teach her a lesson.\xa0 Sounds like she was a holy terror.

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 I thought you went home.

GOLDY \xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0They ain't nothing good on the radio.

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 While I could consult an oracle or two about the mysterious Mr. Beard, the price would be a bit too high for a charity case--

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 What about who might want to kill her?

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 I had no leads as yet--

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Oh, yes you do.

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 I do?

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 These papers - I took em home, just in case someone might come looking.

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Are you really worried about that?

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Nah. \xa0But they ain't nothing good on the radio.\xa0 Anyway, you wanted to know about money motives, and there's some interesting stuff in here.

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 This should really be on the phone.\xa0 Voiceovers aren't made for conversations.

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 You two do it all the time!

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 [abashed] We try not to.

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Fine.\xa0 [ahem] After going through the stack of papers - a thankless task, by the way - I realized that Edwina happened to have a birthday coming up.

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 [dismissive] She already mentioned that.

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 AND that this would be her 22nd birthday.\xa0 When she would just happen to come into a huge trust fund.\xa0 UNLESS she weren't married yet, then she don't get her mitts on the cash til she's 30.

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 [interested] Really?

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 UNLESS again - she was to happen to kick off before she made it to 22.\xa0

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Hmm...\xa0 Who--

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 IN WHICH CASE the money would revert to... ta-da! \xa0her father.

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Rexmussen?\xa0 But he's rich.

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Interesting, innit?

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Whew.\xa0 I had just spent the longest evening of my life, and--

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 We're already on this line.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 What?

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 But we're pretty much done.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 What?

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Besides, I'm already clocked out for the evening.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [growl] what?

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Goldy took the time to sort through all the paperwork we hadn't yet got around to...

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [back to normal] Oh.\xa0 Anything?

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Tell you at dinner.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 About time!

MUSIC OUT

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 RESTAURANT

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 --which doesn't make any sense, because he's rolling in dough.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Nothing in this case makes sense, and we've only got one more day before Edwina's birthday.\xa0

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 We better stay with her.\xa0

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 I had this little idea...

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Yeah?

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 This mystery man appears every time she looks to be in danger, so...

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 ["getting it"] Mmm.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Let skip ahead.

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Get some rest.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Mwa!

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 [appreciative growl]

MUSIC IN

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Morning came, and I was back with Edwina.\xa0 Her husband hadn't even come home, but had phoned to insist she still open the store as usual.\xa0 She was frantic.

MUSIC OUT

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 STREET, FOOTSTEPS

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [controlled] Thank you so much for coming with me.\xa0 I'm simply frantic.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Don't worry about it.\xa0 We'll get to the bottom of all this.

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 RUSHING FEET

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 [roar]

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [scream!]

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 SCUFFLE

BEARD\xa0\xa0\xa0 [oof!]

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 You got him?\xa0 Calm down, Eddie!

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [gasp] What?\xa0 Who is it?\xa0 Oh!\xa0 That's him!\xa0 That's the guy!

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Let's get inside.\xa0 Come on.\xa0

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [whisper] Who's that?

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 My partner.\xa0 He's good people.

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 He's hardly "people", wouldn't you say?

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Don't knock it, sister!

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 DOOR SHUTS

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Okay, pal, you better start talking.

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Don't hurt him!\xa0 He's the one who's been saving me!

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 [tough sounding] \xa0No one needs to get hurt - but someone DOES need to talk.

BEARD\xa0\xa0\xa0 [mutters something]

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 What's that?

BEARD\xa0\xa0\xa0 [low whisper] Just you.\xa0 I'll talk to you.\xa0 Not the ladies.

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 You all right with that?\xa0 We'll catch up.

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 SNAP FINGERS

MUSIC In SUDDENLY

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Edwina and I went on to the shop, careful to avoid any potentially life threatening situations.

MUSIC OUT

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 SHOP DOOR, WITH BELL

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 He's not going to hurt him, is he?

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 I don't think it will come to that.

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Good.\xa0 I-- I think I'm in love.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [stunned] What?\xa0 With that--

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Handsome stranger who keeps saving my life?

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 You've got a point.\xa0 But what about your husband?

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 I hardly ever see him.\xa0 He doesn't care.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 And how do you know this guy is handsome?\xa0 His face was all covered in that scarf.

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [deep excited breath] \xa0Oh!\xa0 His piercing eyes!\xa0 So mysterious.\xa0 T think--\xa0 [almost something]\xa0 I think he's shy.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 While it's nice to see some color in your cheeks again, I think we need to shelve this until we solve the death-related part of the mystery.

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [sigh] All right.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Last night, I asked about the suitors you turned down.\xa0 Did you have a chance to make a list?

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Oh!\xa0 I forgot.\xa0 So sorry.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 We've got some time now.

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Oh, all right. Um... There was Bob Porthos--

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 The entrepreneur?\xa0 [whistles]

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 He was really fat.\xa0 And Fred Crotchety, are you taking these down?

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Mind like a steel trap.\xa0 Crotchety?

EWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Old.\xa0 And don't even get me started on King Cole.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 The Merry old - ah! "Old"?

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [duh!] Pattycake.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Hmm.\xa0 Let me guess, there was something wrong with every single one of them.

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Pretty much.\xa0 And if it wasn't something obvious, like being really short, or having terrible halitosis, I'd just pick on whatever was handy.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Bet you regret that now.

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 You said it.\xa0 I might have spent the last year in the lap of luxury with my old, fat or smelly husband.\xa0 [thinks]\xa0 Hmm.\xa0 I guess I'm actually rather lucky.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Really?

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 My husband is standoffish and emotionally unavailable, but at least he's not fat, old or smelly.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [slightly sarcastic] And doesn't talk in rhyme.

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [the horror!] Heaven forbid!!\xa0

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 DOOR SLAMS OPEN

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Paul?

THUG\xa0\xa0\xa0 Both of you, hands up!

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [scream!]

THUG\xa0\xa0\xa0 Shut up!

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [cuts out suddenly with a hiccup]

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Let me guess - you're the next "accident"?

THUG\xa0\xa0\xa0 Shut up!

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Why should I listen to you?

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [hissed] Because he's got a gun!

THUG\xa0\xa0\xa0 I see she's the smart one.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 What?

THUG\xa0\xa0\xa0 Though you got the looks, babe.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 What?

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Don't anger the thug!

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Just watch.\xa0 WHAT?

THUG\xa0\xa0\xa0 Now, lets see...\xa0 [muses] an accident...

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 HEAVY TIPPING NOISE, CROCKERY GOES EVERYWHERE

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [quick shriek, muffled]

THUG\xa0\xa0\xa0 [telling himself a story] So someone broke in, and-- [sudden surprised gasp of pain]

MUSIC IN

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 The mystery man had only half satisfied my curiosity when we heard screams from the vicinity of Edwina's pottery shop.

THUG\xa0\xa0\xa0 [screams like a girl]

MUSIC OUT

BEARD\xa0\xa0\xa0 Something's happening!

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 [chuckles] They'll be fine.\xa0 Finish what you were saying.

BEARD\xa0\xa0\xa0 [melodramatic] I'll tell you whatever you want - AFTER we save her!

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 [sigh] All right.

MUSIC IN

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 He had it so bad it was almost cute.\xa0 How could I refuse, being a fellow sufferer of that aeons-old disease called love?

MUSIC OUT

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 DOOR CREAKS OPEN, CRASH OF PLATE

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Hah!

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 See?

BEARD\xa0\xa0\xa0 [surprised] Oh.\xa0 You're all right!

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Yes!

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 This guy--

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 RUSTLE AS SHE KICKS HIM

THUG\xa0\xa0\xa0 [groan]

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Broke in.\xa0 He won't talk.\xa0 [sweetly] I told him my partner is the really scary one.

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Don't worry about it.\xa0 I think I know where this is all leading.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Really?

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Yes.\xa0 Shh.

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [melodramatic, to Beard] It can never be.

BEARD\xa0\xa0\xa0 What?

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 I'm... I'm married.\xa0 No matter that it wasn't my choice.\xa0 It--

BEARD\xa0\xa0\xa0 It's all right.

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 No, it's not!\xa0 You keep saving me, and making me love - uh - like - uh - appreciate you.\xa0 It's not fair.\xa0 To you.

BEARD\xa0\xa0\xa0 You wouldn't consider... running off with me?

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 A year ago, I might have said yes.\xa0 In a heartbeat.\xa0 But I'm not that same shallow girl any more. \xa0I simply can't break a solemn vow.\xa0 You should go.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [sad] Ohhh!

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 [reassuring] Shh.

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Just know this.\xa0 I love you!

BEARD\xa0\xa0\xa0 I've waited so long to hear you say that.

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [confused] You ...have?

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 [whispered] Now for the big reveal.

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 RUSTLE OF FABRIC

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 You!

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Who?

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Guess.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 I don't know anyone with a beard that thick.

BEARD\xa0\xa0\xa0 I'm so sorry I had to do it this way, but--

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 THUMP, HISS

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Really?\xa0 A grenade?\xa0 [grunt of effort]

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 HISSING FLIES OFF

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 DISTANT EXPLOSION, SHRIEK OF PAIN & SURPRISE

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Now that that's sorted out, I think it's time.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Time?

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 For the big denouement.\xa0 And... I think a police presence is in order.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Where's a phone?

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 What's going on?\xa0

BEARD\xa0\xa0\xa0 Don't worry, my darling.\xa0 I'll still always protect you.

MUSIC IN

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 We did a quick gathering of the suspects and arrived at Mr. Rexmussen's sumptuous estates with only half an hour to spare.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Before what?

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 The birthday.

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 I'm the one that caught that!

DONNA AND PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Shut up!

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Hmph.\xa0 Keep me posted.

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Rexmussen's estate was a sprawling mass of putting green and ornamental garden, all surrounding a palatial sort of ... palace.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Evocative.

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 I've been studying Old Possum's word a day column in the Times.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [chuckles]

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 uh-uh-uh!\xa0 Conversation!

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Fine!\xa0

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 MUSIC OUT

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 KNOCKING ON DOOR

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 TEENSY WINDOW OPENS

BUTLER\xa0\xa0\xa0 Please good folks!\xa0 This is not right!\xa0 Banging on the door all night!

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 [grr] Pattycakes.

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [Imperious]\xa0 Rouse my father, Frederick.

BUTLER\xa0\xa0\xa0 The master sleeps, he will not wake.\xa0 I beg you now, your leave to take.

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 WINDOW SHUTS

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Blast.\xa0 If only--

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 POLICE SIRENS BURP, THEN CUT OUT

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 [concerned] Ohhh boy.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Captain Oftheguard!\xa0 So glad you came!\xa0 Wait - I didn't - did you?

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 [grrrr]\xa0 No.

OFTHEGUARD\xa0\xa0\xa0 Your secretary called, said you're having some kind of ...denouement... at this here address?

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 [muttered] She'll never let us live this one down.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [wheedling] We need to get inside, Bruce, and talk to Edwina's father! \xa0Right now, before there's a murder!

OFTHEGUARD\xa0\xa0\xa0 We'll see about that.

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 OFFICIAL POUNDING

BEARD\xa0\xa0\xa0 No one's going to murder you!

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Oh, [falters] OH!\xa0 [whispers]\xa0 You never told me your first name.

BEARD\xa0\xa0\xa0 Oh...\xa0 uh...\xa0 [horrible admission] Van dyke.

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Really?\xa0 I would have pegged you as a garibaldi, or maybe a franz-josef with a side order of Z-Z.

BEARD\xa0\xa0\xa0 [surprised] So you know my brothers?

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 DOOR OPENS

OFTHEGUARD\xa0\xa0\xa0 Hey!\xa0 Mother goose.\xa0 Get your boss out here.\xa0 This is the police.

FREDERICK\xa0\xa0\xa0 You needn't speak in such a tone.\xa0 My job is to see he's left alone.

OFTHEGUARD\xa0\xa0\xa0 hmph.\xa0 My job trumps your boss's orders - now let us through your fancy borders.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Oh, Bruce!\xa0 I never knew you were bilingual!

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 [growl] Enough!\xa0 I'll get us in.

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 MUSIC IN

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 It wasn't long before we were all sitting in Rexmussen's main sitting room.

MUSIC OUT

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 So there.

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Not to be confused with the informal withdrawing room, or the salon.

REXMUSSEN\xa0\xa0\xa0 [cold] So nice to have you home again dear.

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [cold] Papa.\xa0 [kiss kiss]

OFTHEGUARD\xa0\xa0\xa0 I believe there was a denouement in the offing?\xa0 Or are we here for pinochle?

REXMUSSUN\xa0\xa0\xa0 A Denouement?\xa0 Surely you don't mean--?

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 LIGHT FEET ENTER

MULVA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [sexy little number] Rex, Honey?\xa0 I miss my bunny?

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [horrified] Papa!

REXMUSSUN \xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0[covering, stiff] Go back to bed, Mulva.\xa0 We'll talk in the morning.

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Papa!?\xa0 What is ... that?\xa0 [disgust] Her?

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 That's a whole nother denouement!\xa0 Quick, music!

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 MUSIC IN, SOUND OF EDWINA AND REXMUSSUN ARGUING UNDER

REXMUSSUN\xa0\xa0\xa0 I knew you would never be able to accept--

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 A pattycake?\xa0 Father!\xa0 How could you!

MULVA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Love is blind to age or youth.\xa0 We knew you wouldn't like the truth.

REXMUSSUN\xa0\xa0\xa0 You don't need to be here, dearest, to take this abuse.

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 I'm glad mother's dead!\xa0 This sort of ...perversion - it would have killed her to know.

[now the voiceover]

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Could this have been another motive?\xa0 Or part of the answer we already had?

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 We knew we had to sort it out quickly, or lose what might be our only chance to resolve this issue.

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 The money in the trust goes back to dear old dad if she dies in the next 15 minutes, right?

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 I think--

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 [snide] That's what the papers said.\xa0

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Fine.\xa0 Thanx. \xa0What else did they say.

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Oh, so now you need me--

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Get on with it!\xa0 We're in the denouement!

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Dad's loaded.\xa0 The entire trust wouldn't make pocket change for him.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 And his new wife?

GOLDY\xa0\xa0\xa0 Oh, that took a couple of very tricky phone calls.\xa0 Seems they went out of state for a nice quiet little ceremony - the day AFTER dear daughter was whisked away to be wed.

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 So maybe this had nothing to do with the money at all?

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 What are we left with?

EVERYONE \xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0GASPS

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 That sounds like something.\xa0 Quick!

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 MUSIC OUT

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 The lights!

OFTHEGUARD\xa0\xa0\xa0 Everyone stay where you are.\xa0

BEARD\xa0\xa0\xa0 I'm here.

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 RUSTLE, THEN FOOTSTEPS

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Was anyone near the lights when they went out?

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 We were a bit...um... involved in a family ... discussion.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Where are the --

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 GUNSHOT

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [QUICK scream]

BEARD\xa0\xa0\xa0 Oh no!

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Quick!\xa0 Paul!

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 HEAVY FOOTSTEPS

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 [growl]

FREDERICK\xa0\xa0\xa0 Off, you beast!\xa0 Get off of me!\xa0 I'm no prey for such as thee!

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Just for that! [unh!]

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 SMACK

SOUND\xa0\xa0\xa0 CLICK OF LIGHTS BACK ON

OFTHEGUARD\xa0\xa0\xa0 Him!?

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 A servant?

REXMUSSUN\xa0\xa0\xa0 Frederick?

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [whispered] Paul?\xa0 But why?\xa0 Do you think he was paid?

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 [muttered] Hmm.\xa0 No.\xa0 [up]\xa0 Oftheguard, I'll hand him over.\xa0

OFTHEGUARD\xa0\xa0\xa0 What's the charge?\xa0 Or at least the motive?

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Yes!\xa0 What could he possibly get out of killing me?\xa0 He's not in any position to inherit.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 No one is - now.\xa0

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Except your husband.\xa0

BEARD\xa0\xa0\xa0 I've got plenty of my own, thanks.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Your birthday came and went 8 minutes ago.\xa0 So this attempt ... [quizzical] must be unrelated?

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 But something else is.\xa0

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Is what?

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Related.\xa0 [sharp] Rexmusson!\xa0 This young lady may be your second wife, but I wager she's not the first pattycake that you've... um...

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Played pattycake with?

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 I was trying for something a bit more pithy, but yes.

REXMUSSON\xa0\xa0\xa0 [warning] I'm a very wealthy and powerful man!\xa0 [shrug] And everyone needs a hobby.

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Papa!

MULVA\xa0\xa0\xa0 But now I am your one and only?\xa0 You'll never have to be so lonely.

REXMUSSON\xa0\xa0\xa0 [not quite convincing] Of course, dear.

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 This is just disgusting.\xa0 I don't need to hear any more of this--

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Just a bit more.\xa0 Frederick?\xa0 How long have you worked here?

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 He's been here his entire life.\xa0 Since we both [getting it] were children...

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Ahhh.\xa0 And his mother?\xa0 She worked here, too?

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [revolted] Oh, now I am definitely leaving.

BEARD\xa0\xa0\xa0 Hold on a bit longer.\xa0

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Hold me!

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 So you think that he did it out of revenge?\xa0 For her being the pampered one and him getting.... a menial job?

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Perhaps he felt that if there were no longer a legitimate heir to the Rexmusson estate, that his father would have to acknowledge him at last.

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 That's a huge bucket full of wishful thinking, you do realize that?

REXMUSSON\xa0\xa0\xa0 Even if Edwina was killed, and that would never be my wish, dear, even if we don't see eye to eye on some things--

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [conciliatory]\xa0 Oh, I should hope not.

REXMUSSON\xa0\xa0\xa0 There's still going to be more legit heirs.\xa0 Right my little pumpkiny-wumpkiny?

MULVA\xa0\xa0\xa0 You'll have a little sister soon.\xa0 We've counted down to the end of June.

EDWINA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [no longer amused] We're leaving.\xa0 Now.

BEARD\xa0\xa0\xa0 There's no more danger?

OFTHEGUARD\xa0\xa0\xa0 Not from this guy, there ain't.

BEARD\xa0\xa0\xa0 Good.\xa0 [leaving]\xa0 Edwina?\xa0 Darling?

FREDERICK\xa0\xa0\xa0 Ouch!\xa0 Ouch!\xa0 Stop that, you!\xa0 You hurt my--

OFTHEGUARD\xa0\xa0\xa0 [cutting in] Everloving shoe.\xa0 I know, I know.\xa0 I've heard it all before.\xa0 Now - "Come along quiet, you epic fail.\xa0 You're taking a little trip to jail."

MUSIC IN

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 [snort, then annoyed]\xa0 Progressive AND bilingual.\xa0 How do you compete with that?

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Hmm?

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 Nothing.\xa0 [clears throat]\xa0 So the case was closed, and for once we could say--

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 With a completely straight face--

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 uh...\xa0 [whispered] You want to say it?

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 [sultry whisper] Let's do it together?

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 [grrrrow!]\xa0 Count of three, then.\xa0 One Two--

PAUL AND DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 The butler did it.\xa0 [both laugh]

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 You would never leave me, um, I mean the agency, I mean, detective work, for a ... a pattycake, wouldja?

DONNA\xa0\xa0\xa0 Never fear, oh hairy one / the job, and you, are much more fun.

PAUL\xa0\xa0\xa0 [growl!!]\xa0 I do love it when she talks foreign!

\xa0

\xa0